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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dh's penis enlargement - should I be less skeptical?!

66 replies

mollipops · 13/07/2004 07:31

Okay, I thought about labelling this a "sensitive topic" but after reading the bj conversation I feel less obliged to do so!!!

It's like this...Dh found a web site with a set of exercises supposedly "guaranteed" to enlarge the penis. Of course he paid US$50 for this (without telling me, mind you, until he had already done so). When he did tell me, I told him I thought it was completely ridiculous, and couldn't help laughing at him. I mean, he's not hung like a pornstar but he's about average (I think - now we're getting over to the ave partner count here! Yes I have seen my share and then some, but basically I'm not complaining and never have done. It's just a complex he has, just like I think my boobs are too small.)

So now he spends every night of the week, locked away in our bathroom with the baby oil, for 45 minutes. He has one or two "nights off" a week, and then of course he expects me to jump into bed with him instead. Btw there is no climaxing involved with these "exercises". But frankly I feel a bit put out and ignored by this time and not at all in the mood. Add to this that most nights he disappears into the study straight afterwards to look at the sharemarket on the net for another hour...you get the picture.

I have tried to tell him I do not care about the size of the damn thing (not in those exact words, mind), it works perfectly fine, but he insists he is doing it for both of us. I have explained how I feel ignored and how it is actually doing more harm to our relationship and that he has his priorities wrong but he just doesn't get it. I think he'd be better off lifting weights or doing sit ups for 45 minutes if he wants to improve his body image!!!

Yes if I wanted to get a boob job I know it would be for me, not for him, and I guess that's how he sees it. But everyone can see your boobs are bigger can't they, nobody but us knows if his penis is .1cm wider or something stupid. It makes it worse it's something I can't go to my friends or family about too. Basically I think he's being selfish, adolescent and ridiculous. Anyone else?

OP posts:

Report

hmb · 13/07/2004 09:32

Short of surgery there is nothing that he can do to increase the size of his penis.

He is wasting his time

Fio2 · 13/07/2004 10:30

sounds like an excuse to mess with himself! Sorry but it sounds hilarious, how do you stop yourself from laughing???

hmb · 13/07/2004 10:32

Fio2, when did a man ever need an excuse????

There are two types of men you know, those who masturbate and those who lie about masturbating!

Fio2 · 13/07/2004 10:33

LOL hmb

twiglett · 13/07/2004 11:23

message withdrawn

Samcj · 13/07/2004 11:26

I would tell him that I would not support him unless, a) he takes measurements
b) he takes before and after photos to send to the website, EVEN IF IT ISN'T A SUCESS!
c) set a time scale for how long you will put up with this (ie not long!) before you want to see some results or give it up.
d) tell him you want to watch!

This way he will see if it isn't working and surely the idea of sending his picture of his precious pieces would put most, even prouder men off!!

It just shows what an ego a man has, the fact that you are perfectly happy with what he's got should be enough for him, if not I would be worried about any ideas in that ego about where he wants to go putting it... Sorry, not a nice thing to say, but men aren't really that complex, why is he so desperate to fix a problem that dosen't exist?

The other option would be to absolutely ignore his silly little trips to the bathroom and not make a big deal about them. I tend to find with my DP if you ignore the things he does that annoy you he tends to decide not to do them!! A bit like a small child really! Surely though, you must have an idea about how to make him rethink his actions, you know him best. I think I might also tell him though that I find his actions to be a huge turn off, much bigger issue than any I ever had with his penis, show no interest in what he's got and he may decide it's not worth the bother?

Good luck!

beetroot · 13/07/2004 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsDoolittle · 13/07/2004 12:10

Dh says that this stuff is put on the internet for virgin boys he can't believe an adult, and a father at that, is taking it seriously!
I think we are all laughing - aren't we?

lou33 · 14/07/2004 08:54

I do hope you can resolve the problem with your dh Mollipops. Please don't stop posting, I am sure noone intended to upset you. It is very hard to interpret tone of voice online, and maybe your post came across to some as lighthearted, mistakenly. It would be a shame if you felt you could no longer be taken seriously. Best wishes.

Fio2 · 14/07/2004 08:57

sorry if I offended you mollipops, that was never ever my intention. I can see why you were hurt though and realise that I have been insensitive. Please accept my apology and please please dont stop posting Would you feel better if the thread was deleted? I am glad the problem has sorted itself out

lou33 · 14/07/2004 09:05

If you want this deleted just [email protected], and they will sort it out for you.

mollipops · 14/07/2004 09:32

I know I know, it is pathetic. But he doesn't think so, and is convinced that it's working.

Samcj, funny you should suggest that, as I did do exactly that (the measurements and time limit, not the photos!). But of course he always finds an excuse and I don't know that the measurements he has taken are that accurate. I just don't want any part of it.

I have to admit it MAY have made a slight difference, but I just don't notice ANY differnce in the quality of it when it counts, IYKWIM.

So what's the point FFS?

The worst part is that he reckons, like any exercise, you have to keep doing it or it "reverts back". The thought of him doing this almost nightly for the rest of our lives sickens me. I don't think he understands how it makes me feel, despite my efforts. Any suggestions that might get the message thru?

OP posts:

hmb · 14/07/2004 09:53

It isn't going to work!

If someone could seriously enlarge the penis do you think they would be sending out spam for £50 for the method? No, they would be the talk of every chat show on TV and living the life of luxury.

These things don't work.

The penis has very little muscle to 'work on'. It isn't a muscle so you can't make it bigger by exercising it. It is mostly made of blood vessels. An erection is produced not because of muscle contractions but because more blood enters the penis than can leave it (because of changes in the width of the veins and arteries). So it becomes engorged with blood.

If he likes fiddling with it, and you don't mind, then fine, let him wank away. But this is going to end up disapointing him if he is realy worried about his size.

Fio2 · 14/07/2004 10:03

splutter......

coppertop · 14/07/2004 11:02

Sorry but PMSL! Agree that the new 'kit' will make no difference whatsoever.

jmg1 · 14/07/2004 11:04

mollipops are you havin a tin bath?

jmg1 · 14/07/2004 11:05

ct, how are the wasps?

Fio2 · 14/07/2004 11:07

dunno jmg but her dh is having a tommytank

jmg1 · 14/07/2004 11:08

fio, he may have more luck sticking it into a wasps nest.

Fio2 · 14/07/2004 11:09

ouch!

coppertop · 14/07/2004 11:10

Hi, jmg! The wasps seem to have gone for now, and dh was sting-free.

Btw how did I guess that you would be lurking on a penis enlargement thread?

coppertop · 14/07/2004 11:13

OMG! The perils of cross-posting! Can I just point out that dh has not been sticking his bits in wasp nests - and as far as I know he's not actually in the process of having a tommytank!

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Fio2 · 14/07/2004 11:28

pmsl coppertop

Piffleoffagus · 14/07/2004 11:39

rofl, when I moved in and cleared out dh's bachelor pad 3 yrs ago, I found a penis enlarging suction machine lurking in the drawers under his bed.
PMSL

Piffleoffagus · 14/07/2004 11:40

jmg anyone, you meet him YOU NEVER tell him I told you or I will have to kill you all

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