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Why is it that so many men hate women?

56 replies

pallasathena · 18/06/2016 00:44

I'm particularly bothered by the recent attack on the FEMALE Labour MP. And I'm increasingly disturbed by the number of women who suffer at the hands of the establishment who decree that women who are subject to appalling situations including rape, emotional/physical abuse are somehow, able to cope, able to maintain a sort of strange, odd equilibrium. Why is that? Why do the powers that be assume that women can just 'get on with things' ? I find it impossible to deconstruct.

OP posts:
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CaoNiMao · 18/06/2016 04:54

Women are always at the bottom of the pile, and their rights are always the lowest priority. It's incredibly depressing.

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GoneClubbing · 18/06/2016 06:19

On the whole I agree. However at the moment, I am haunted by the fact that 100 years ago I would be sending my sons off to war and quite possibly to their deaths. My sister, who has daughters, would not be doing that. Life was no piece of cake obviously for women in the First World War but they were not being slaughtered in the trenches.

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KERALA1 · 18/06/2016 06:27

Hmm but who starts wars? Not women. Also that was literally years ago. The hatred we deal with is here and now and permeates society. There is a whole porn industry glorifying and documenting the abuse and degradation of women which many men gleefully partake in.

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GoneClubbing · 18/06/2016 07:03

I'm a feminist let me make that clear. But having two boys has been a massive eye opener for me. Teenage boys are assumed by many to be sex crazed thugs both on MN and in RL. The education system is hugely feminised especially at primary level. Various teachers with the attitude of 'Well what can you expect, boys will be boys!' Bullying of boys by girls is denied. Try watching the Inbetweeners, girls portrayed as sassy confident and independent, boys as complete losers. The family courts massively favour mothers over fathers. And WW1 may have been 'literally years ago' but military deaths are still overwhelmingly male.

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MildlyattractiveBetty · 18/06/2016 07:13

I don't think the inbetweeners portrays boys in a bad light? It's fiction and the boys are endearing, similar but with females is drifters.

Boys will be boys is something that shouldn't be said because often, if it were a girl, they would be more likely to get in trouble. See also: he is mean to you because he likes you.

I don't know enough about family courts to speak about that. However you've completely ignored pp pointing out the systematic degradation, violence and abuse towards women. Misogyny is an everyday occurrence and is so ingrained in men, and many women, they often don't seem to know they're doing it.

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DetestableHerytike · 18/06/2016 07:32

I'm a feminist mother of sons it's not demonising to note that two women a week are killed by partners or exes and that many more women than men are raped or suffer DV

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GoneClubbing · 18/06/2016 07:38

Not ignoring it and sorry to give that impression. I am actually quite involved in the VAWG issue. Just that it is not all one sided. Misandry is also an everyday occurrence. But not as widely acknowledged. Or the term even recognised like misogyny is. Re: school I didn't mean behaviour aspects I was thinking about reading and writing. I've started to think that boys underachieving in reading and writing us a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is assumed they will struggle.

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ViHy · 18/06/2016 07:40

We do still have issues in dealing with equality and that's true on any of the labels we have "women, men, black, Muslim etc". People attitudes still need amending and the media perpetually causes more conflict to separate us (rich, poor, post code, country); because it's far easier to hate someone if you don't empathise with them.
This was a extremist. The world has always been littered with them. It's shockingly sad this poor woman was killed and I can't bare to imagine what her family is going through.
I feel a great sadness seeing these things (the news) but if we all turn to hate, it'll all never end. This man proved nothing and has made 'his point of view' more implausible than ever.
No matter in life and let it continue we don't except all we hear (from the news particularly, brainwashing into certain attitudes). We know better now not to take everything we're fed. Being a mum of boys I want to be free thinkers and respectful, of anyone. That my superpower.

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MildlyattractiveBetty · 18/06/2016 07:56

Why, on a thread about why men hate women, are you all discussing how difficult life is for men/boys?

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KERALA1 · 18/06/2016 08:06

Yes I wondered that too Betty Hmm

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firesidechat · 18/06/2016 09:19

We can't possibly know that she was killed because she was a woman. Don't you think it more likely that she killed because she was an mp or because the killer disagreed with her views on Syria or because he was mentally ill? If the mp was male do you think he wouldn't have attacked him? You can't possibly know one way or another.

Fair enough to have a discussion on why some men hate women, but why drag Jo Cox into it.

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Felascloak · 18/06/2016 09:23

Jesus. Derailed in three posts by whataboutery. I think that proves your point OP. We can't even have a thread to discuss it Sad.

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Fatrascals · 18/06/2016 09:23

Why, on a thread about why men hate women, are you all discussing how difficult life is for men/boys?

Because looking at the root of a problem is often more effective than just trying to attack it from above?

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OrangesandLemonsNow · 18/06/2016 09:24

I'm particularly bothered by the recent attack on the FEMALE Labour MP.

All the last murders and serious injuries on MP have been on male MPs. The last in 2010 where he was fighting for his life.

I don't actually for once, think it was a gender issue.

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Felascloak · 18/06/2016 09:54

The root of the problem of some men hating women is how difficult life is for men and boys fat? Confused Hmm

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bluecashmere · 18/06/2016 10:48

And I don't agree family courts favour women either. That's a myth and not true to RL. They aim to give both parents a relationship with children, even when there is a history of abuse.

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RiceCrispieTreats · 18/06/2016 12:04

Why is it that so many men hate women?

Because in a patriarchy, women are meant to be subordinate. Violence, or the constant threat of it, is a tool to keep them in their place.

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Fatrascals · 18/06/2016 22:12

No felas that's not what I said as I'm sure you're intelligent enough to work out fr yourself.

If you want to discuss why "men hate women" and not allow women to discuss parenting boys then you're welcome to your discussion but I personally believe you are missing a trick (insert face of your choice)

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Fomalhaut · 18/06/2016 22:45

Because the male ego (of the woman hating male, of course not all men etc) is brittle and fragile. The man cannot cope with anything that threatens his position and perceived entitlement. Anything that does so must be destroyed.

Thus: Isis - can't cope with anything not black and white, kill the infidels.
Orlando shooter - can't cope with his own homosexuality, thinks it feminises him, annihilates it.
Man who comes onto a women and is politely rejected - calls her a bitch/beats her.

Violent male entitlement is at the root of the vast majority of shitty violence in the world.

I have a son. I will be raising him to be a compassionate human who is secure enough in himself to not need to destroy things he objects to.

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ABCAlwaysBeCunting · 18/06/2016 23:06

I think a surprising amount of men are afraid of women.

They are afraid a woman might be more knowledgeable or intelligent then them. They're afraid they might fall in love with a woman and they won't have control over their feelings. They're afraid a woman might have their child and be able to take away some of their precious (money). They're afraid that a woman might take advantage of them in some way, so they approach every woman with distrust. They're afraid that a woman might not fancy them so they deride how women look to make them feel insecure. They're afraid and most of them don't even know it or recognise it, they just behave that way because other men do.

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BackforGood · 18/06/2016 23:13

From what has been released to the press, and the understanding of the situation so far, this appalling crime has got nothing to do with the fact Jo Cox was a woman and I'm pretty saddened that you are trying to make it out to be.
By all means start a thread about your theory if you wish, but please don't try to make this appalling murder part of your agenda. There are children, and dh, a sister and parents grieving out there tonight. Have some respect.

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HelenaDove · 19/06/2016 01:13

GoneClubbing i think using The Inbetweeners as an example was a bad move.


Given the way the boys on that show talk about the girls Confused

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Out2pasture · 19/06/2016 01:38

men commit violent crimes against people who are weaker, sometimes it's other men sometimes women.
i'm sure their are a variety of reason's but family history and mental health probably play a big role (hence the reason some people may have jumped in with the difficulty of raising boys).
i feel there is a relationship between lack of meaningful work and men committing acts of violence
/initiating war

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Atenco · 19/06/2016 03:01

military deaths are still overwhelmingly male

Well, just the soldiers. In wars nowadays, it is overwhelmingly the civilian population that suffers.

As for men hating women, maybe it is the fact that if you are near the bottom of the heap, you like to think that there is someone even lower down in the heap than you are. Nowadays, more and more people are near the bottom of the heap, so they hate to see the "lower down" getting a step up for fear that they wil be at the absolute bottom.

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daisychain01 · 19/06/2016 03:39

And I don't agree family courts favour women either. That's a myth and not true to RL. They aim to give both parents a relationship with children, even when there is a history of abuse.

Maybe now, but I don't think that was the case 10-15 years ago. My DH had a huge mountain to climb to maintain 50/50 residency of his DS 10 years ago. At the time it was quite a landmark case that may have helped set a precedent for fathers having residency through court order. He was the primary carer but as the male, had he not fought, he would have been lucky if he got access rights (set by the DM) crumbs from her table

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