I'm trying to figure out if my pregnancy hormones are making me feel/act selfishly so sorry if a bit of a ramble!
My OH and I have been together nearly 4 years. We have 1 DS who is nearly 2 and I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD. For various reasons, we don't have much to do with my family. They're not local and unreliable and I certainly wouldn't trust them to look after DS (partly as he simply doesn't know them well enough.) My OH 's family are local. His parents are 10 mins drive away, his brother roughly the same, his sister less than that although she's has 3 young DC. herein lies my question: OH ' s parents dedicate 3 days a week to looking after my SIL's DC 's then work/care for poorly relatives the rest of the time. They haven't looked after my DS at all for 6 months now. I dont work any more (had to give up pt job as had no one to look after DS during the week - started working Saturdays so OH could have him but was putting a huge strain on our family unit just having one family day a week so I handed my notice in) I've gone through my whole pregnancy so far suffering horrible morning sickness plus a few vomiting bugs and always they've been far too busy looking after their other GC to be able to help me out for a couple of hours even for me yo go to scans or appointments. They as good as told me that it wasn't convenient for them to have DS for any length of time during the week as so busy With other childcare commitments for SIL. I've asked a handful of times if they would have him for a few hours on weekends so that we can rest or just have some time together and always been told they've already got the other kids (after looking after them 3 days a week they still take them overnight on weekends when asked) or they've cancelled last minute as they 'forgot that they were going on holiday' and various other last minute cancellations. Theyve just come back from holiday with SIL and family and we asked if they would do a few days away with us but said they couldn't due to needing to look after other GC. The only time they will set aside to even see DS is if I take him round while they're babysitting the other GC where understandably he just gets ignored. Clearly I'm started to feel frustrated and rejected on behalf of my DS. I'm also worried as we were relying on them to have him when I go in to labour - they won't look after DS and other GC at the same time as it's too much for them so unless I give birth on the weekend my OH won't be able to be there as he will have to look after our son! Furthermore my OH is starting to get annoyed and feel pushed out by them as they don't even seem to have time to take his phone calls and whenever he does manage to speak to them on the phone he has to cut it short as other kids are crying at the other end. AIBU to expect them to show my son (and their own son!) The same level of attention as other siblings and GC? Should I say anything as it's not my family it's not really my place? If so how would I do it without seeming demanding? we dont really trust anyone else enough to look after him which i realise puts them under huge pressure but it has been 6 months since they've looked after him at all, its not like im asking every week! I feel like a bit of a bitch complaining but also feeling very drained being with DS 24/7 and our relationship is suffering due to no quality time. Please either tell me I'm being ungrateful or some advice as to how to handle tactfully would be great!
Thanks
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Relationships
Am I expecting too much of in laws?
Bee182814 · 11/05/2016 17:02
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