(Relationship counselling by myself, second week...)
I need to learn techniques to defuse my husband's anger. Withdrawing because you feel upset and intimidated is not how a 40 year old woman behaves. I could have had that conversation with my husband for free.
Obviously that's my take on the conversation but I think it was the main gist.
It set me off reading about better communication this morning and I can see how to improve things, how i could do things differently. But I thought counselling was about reaching my own conclusions. It was a disastrous session. We clashed horribly (she could see why husband got angry!)
Maybe I am horrendously bad at examining my own behaviour but learning how not to trigger someone with an anger issue really annoys me. From what I've read online today though, the counsellor's advice is pretty textbook (probably sound?)Eg, me saying "I won't talk to you while you're angry" is critical and winding him up, I should rephrase as "I feel...."
Does anyone have any books they could recommend on better communication. I'm intrigued by the idea that my life could have been very different if I learnt how to say what I want rather than just give in. The session seemed to simplfy our issues to anger/compliance. It's not that simple. Theres so much more we didn't even discuss. I think I need to work out my own approach.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Learning to diffuse(defuse?) partners anger, better communication
pablothepenguin · 02/03/2016 15:43
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.