History: I suffered for years at the hand of controlling abuser. He went on to abuse my daughter, and then after his final physical assault on me resulting in my broken nose, damage to my jaw and my left knee, I got a Non-Mol against him, he had to leave the house and then separation happened. So far, so grim.
I continued my life, and he had contact with my daughter. Long history - just know the family courts are not hot on domestic violence victims and are willing to give abuser contact. See Women's Aid's campaigns re this.
My question is: Should I tell a school mum all about the past of my abuser and his current - hidden from school parents - abuse of my daughter. I have handled this quietly to safeguard my daughter.
However, abuser is charming and has gotten many school parents on 'his side' - I am totally reticent to have any contact with him - public or private. The school parents can't seem to understand why I'm this way. And some have 'protected' me from him - but only because it was 'polite' to do so.
I'm now thinking of telling one 'influential' school mum so she can 'get my back' if anyone says anything untoward about me. I know stuff has been said as some whom I had really good school drop off/pick up chats with are 'turning' away / 'not catching my eye' even though I have caught theirs. Most of the time I'm so busy with stuff my daughter and I are doing that I don't care. But sometimes it really hurts. A few recent examples.
So - do I let in this one mum with all the gruesome details, or will this expose my daughter to gossip which will backfire on her? I want to keep her innocence as much as possible
Mindful that I am still keeping silence for controlling abuser. Mindful also that my actions are still controlled by my ex's reactions so I stay still.
Any thoughts??
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Thinking of disclosing past abuse by ex to me and my daughter to school mum- How wise is this?
42 replies
thejanuarys · 14/02/2016 15:49
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