Firstly a bit of background.......my mum hasn't spoken to me for over 2 years since the day after our wedding when my mother had a complete melt down in the car park of our venue because I am such a horrible selfish ungreatful bitch. (Her exact words to my bridesmaids/ new husband!)
Grandmother never wanting to be less than center of attention also refuses to speak to me and my brother told me I am a horrible c**t because I wouldn't buy him an expensive christmas present then went on to add that he was standing up to me for how I treated my mum/ grandmother.
I still see my brother at family occasions on my dads side (divorced parents) and always try to speak to him and his gf. It's important to my dad and aunt who always try and patch things up.
So basically GM is a narcissist, DM has become her mother even though I know she hates when GM does the same to her and DB is enjoying his time as the golden child and is probably a narcissist as well.
This is the 3rd christmas we have not spoken, every year we've sent christmas gifts; we never receive anything back.
Although they have essentially cut us out of their lives DM still tries to manipulate me, when my grandfather died she told my dad I was going to kick off at my step mother at the funeral which caused all sorts of problems! Fortunately I talked to my dad and stepmother and we now have a better relationship as a result but I find it incredibly hurtful that she wants to turn the whole family against me.
If your still with me thanks for reading!
We have recently found out I am pregnant, we conceived via IVF so this baby is our little miracle however it it causing issues between dh and I because we can't agree if we should tell my mum or not.
My brother recently got engaged and I found out through facebook which I found incredibly upsetting and underlined to me that they no longer consider me as part of the family this has made me think that they no longer deserve to share in our good news when they haven't wanted to be part of our lives for the last 2 years.
On the other hand I feel like my mum will use me not telling them as an opportunity to cause more drama telling everyone and anyone how we've cut them off and excluded them, this would be her first biological grandchild.
Dh thinks we should tell them, his family is normal so although he sees the crazy he doesn't understand it, he thinks she'll suddenly start talking to us, which she might but at what cost?
Can someone one please advise me on what to do? I am so confused about what to do?
We had an argument last night with dh telling me I'd ruined our wedding by getting upset about my mum (I have 1 photo of us together on the day as she refused to help me get dressed or be excited as I was getting ready and looks miserable in all the photos so I do get very upset when I look back because of this) and now I am ruining being pregnant for him and I should just get over christmas and enjoy spending time together. (He Isn't Christian so he's not grown up with the big christmas like I did)
I just want him to understand how I cant just not be upset by being cut off by my entire family!
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Relationships
should I tell LC/NC toxic family about pregency?
Fuzzywuzzywasabear · 26/12/2015 13:10
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