Does anyone have a happy story of meeting someone new, after going through a break up they were devastated about

[orangesthisweek]

I am in my late twenties (almost the big 30), and this week my relationship ended.

I feel really alone and really didn't want it to end. I can't sleep, feel sick, can't eat. I am so scared I wont have the feeling of love and security I had when living with DP. It actually terrifies me. I can't imagine finding someone else and being happy, despite the fact that DP wasnt exactly being the most perfect partner towards the end.

Anyone have any happy stories where they found someone even better? If so, how long did it take?

[TokenGinger]

My very first relationship broke my heart beyond how I even imagined was possible. I couldn't eat, sleep, breathe without feeling sick and hurting. I chased after him and begged him to keep me. I was parhetic. But I adored him. I thought I was going to die. I really did. I don't know how I managed to wake up every day. The pain was the worst thing I ever experienced.

We broke up in the February. And I met somebody new in the September. We took it slow but I soon fell in love again.

When that relationship broke down, it didn't break me like the first one did. Bizarrely, i loved him more than my first. I thought he was the man I would marry. He was my everything, but it didn't kill me. It was easier to cope with because I had learned to process that pain.

The success, however, is not that my happy story lies with meeting somebody else, but with finding me.

I am the happiest I've ever been. I broke up with my ex 2.5years ago and it's been the most beautiful experience of my life. I've found so many new hobbies that I adore; alternative sports. I've invested time in truly enjoying my family and my friends. I depend on me for happiness. I am comfortable in my own company. I do not feel like I need a man to complete me, rather, I feel a man will compliment the happy life I have formed.

When you find happiness within yourself, that's when you know life is good.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

Yes, was around 26 when my first marriage ended. Met current dh during it's death throes, and couldn't be happier now. Have been together over ten years, have a lovely dd etc.
My first marriage now seems a distant dream/mightmare. And this WILL happen for you too. My advice would be to value yourself highly - love yourself, even. Make sure any future relationship brings you the happiness you truly deserve.

[Chebs]

Hi Oranges xx

My ex and I were together from almost 17 until 22 years old (he was 19 when we met.) We were engaged and had the wedding all booked up, living together etc. He called the whole thing off because he loved me like a sister rather than a partner. I was absolutely devastated. Just crushed.

I met my OH about 5 months after we officially split, and we were friends for about 8 months before becoming official. I felt too damaged and 'reboundy' to take things further with him before this, and didn't want to ruin a potentially great friendship. He was much more keen, and courted me a bit. We are due to be married on our 10 year anniversary in 7 weeks and have a 7 year old little boy. Couldn't be happier.

Best advice I could give is to be prepared to allow yourself lots of time. I rebounded a couple of times, and kind of threw all my pent up 'relationship' energy at people who - quite frankly - didn't deserve it. My ex is a lovely guy, although didn't behave that way in the end. We are friends now, and he is actually getting married the day before me - which is kind of weird.

[QueenBean]

Yes, as the others have said it happened to me, but, the main thing is I got through it

What's amazing about having your heart broken and then getting in to a new relationship, is that you throw yourself in to it, completely let down your boundaries and guard and just go for it. Because even if you broke up, you wouldn't die - you'd still be ok and have the love and support of family and friends.

Appreciate it might make people even more cautious but that's how it was for me.

[Letmejustsaythis]

Funnily enough I was going to say something similar to the pp. I haven't gone on to meet someone else and be happier but I have found that I can be perfectly fine on my own.

I didn't even used to like being in the house on my own for one night but I have been living on my own for three years now and love it.

I did have two relationships after the breakdown of my marriage and they were disastrous so that has put me off forever.

However I did meet someone and felt more passion for him than anyone I have ever met (I am much older than you btw) and even though he wasn't relationship material I feel really lucky to have experienced that depth of feeling.

So there is hope op and you are young enough to start again.

[MissMarianHalcombe]

I am sorry you feel so sad, and I understand exactly how you feel.
I was with my first husband until I was 28 from the age of 17 -thought I would never meet anyone else, destined to be alone and would never have children.
But by 30 I had met my now husband. I have 2 lovely boys and we have been together over 18 years. It's only when I met my now DH that I realised how unhappy I had been and how disfunctional that relationship had been
(Not saying that your relationship was like mine at all btw)
So yes I have a happy ending and I am sure you will too. Everyone told me I'd find someone new, I didn't believe them at the time, but guess what, they were right!

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

I was 25 when I had a crippling break up. Met DH a month later .

[NoisyOyster]

Hi op

My major relationship ended after 4 years when I was 25. We were going to live together, get married, live happily ever after etc.
When he ended it out of the blue I was in a world I have never been in. People kept telling me "one day you'll find someone else" and I couldn't believe it. I physically threw up when I passed his turning on the motorway. I had a mini breakdown in front of a (luckily very understanding) policeman in the station when I heard his train stop announced. It was crazy

Then I did a year of crying, a year of declaring I'd be a spinster, a year of something I'm ashamed to admit, and then, last year, I fell head over heels in love with someone I never would have expected to fall for.

It took me by complete surprise- if you'd asked me my "tick list" of things I always looked for, this guy ticked nothing. But I love him more than anyone I have ever loved, and he is my future.

I never believed I would get to a place where not only the pain didn't crucify me, but that I could agree it was the right decision we broke up

You will get there. Don't force yourself. Don't go dating if you don't want to. Don't fret too much that it won't happen. Kick, scream, cry, sulk as much as you want to.

Then, one day, it will just happen. I promise you it will

And when it does, look up your old threads, come back to this one, and tell us just how happy you are

Sending you all the love and hugs op

[Fairylea]

I went through a truly awful divorce in my twenties. My then dh left me for an ex he'd found on Facebook and upped and left in 2 weeks leaving me and dd then aged 6. We never heard from him again. He left me with 26k worth of debt and we were in the middle of ivf!

I think I just about died really. I remember trying to carry on the best I could for dd and trying to retain a sense of normality all the time feeling like I was literally dying inside.

I downsized my home and was then made redundant (!!) and it forced me to reassess my whole life. I didn't want to be a career woman anymore..It wasn't making me happy.

I spent a few years alone working in very low wage jobs and dated a few people from work on a very casual basis.

I then decided to join plenty of fish and after deleting and blocking what seemed like hundreds of utter twats I ended up talking to now dh. We met for a daytime coffee and I was literally thinking if it doesn't work out ill make an excuse and leave after 20 mins.... We sat there for 4 hours :)

We have now been married 3 years and together 5 years and we now also have ds aged 2.9. Life is really good. I realise now looking back how lonely and awful my previous relationships were.

Conversely I also feel stronger as a person. I don't feel afraid of being on my own in the same way as I did before. That's quite a strong position to be in and the best one to have when you date. You want to be with someone because they're the right person above all else. And if you decide to be alone that's fine too.

You will get through this I promise. X

[YellowTulips]

Oh yes

Caught ex partner (of 7 years) giving a BJ to a guest at a party in our home.

Age 29. Leave but think I've left it all to late etc...

2 months later meet DH. We were married and had our son in 18 months.

12 years later still happy and in love

It can happen.

[Karoleann]

I had a horrible break up with my then DF at 28 after 7 years together.

I met DH a couple of months later and 3 years on we were married with our first DS.

You will feel crap for a while, take some time out if you can. My DH has given me an infinitely better life and better a better father than my ex would have.

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

This is a major help!!
Also going through a break up after 7 yrs and 2 children.
It's good to see these stories and know it does get better . Keep them coming please !!!

[loveareadingthanks]

Another one here.

Devastating break up 3 years ago. Worse than when my marriage came to an end 20 years ago. Very nasty situation nearly drove me to a breakdown. Obsessed constantly about it for over a year.

Now living with lovely DP who I just clicked with immediately. We started living together after only 3 months and he brings happiness into every day of my life no matter what else is happening.

[orangesthisweek]

These stories are SO lovely to hear. Thank you thank you thank you!!

[Namechange584889]

Yes.

I was dumped very suddenly through text by my fiancée about 18 months ago.

I was beyond devastated. I spent nights literally screaming, I took a very serious overdose and was in hospital with serious liver problems for 2 weeks. I relapsed into anorexia and thought about nothing but dying for about 4 months.

The worst thing was it was my fault. I was depressed but didn't see it, was entirely dependent on him and there was no equality in our relationship at all.

One day I realised if I was going to kill my self I'd of done it by now and it was time to start putting myself back together. I took up new hobbies - pole dancing and aerial silks which I still do 2/3 times a week which has massively raised my self esteem, I'm in therapy for the eatibg and just addressing General issues I've had all my life.

It took over a year before I was truly over him, and even now I still get the odd pang but it's more because other bad things which have made a big impact on my day to day life (my mum who I was very close to died as did 2 of my horses so I pine more for my old life than him iyswim).

I'm now in a new relationship, it's early days as only 3 months on. It's a lesbian relationship, although I akeays knew I wasn't straight I alsi never thought I'd actually have a relationship with a girl but I'm haopier and more comfortable with myself than ever. We have a far more equak relationship, we both support each other when life is hard and it's not all about me, and we have independence from each other.

I was broken, truly broken, but I did heal and I'm a far better person for it.

[hellsbellsmelons]

Oh yes indeed.
With my ExH for 15 years.
He had an affair.
Totally devastated.
Spent hours and hours curled up in a ball in a corner just crying and crying.
For days and months.
But... friends and family helped me through it all.
I was 40 at the time.
Now, the wrong side of 45 I've been with my OH for a few years and he's gorgeous, helpful and lovely. I love him more than I did my ExH.
You are young and you will be happy again.
It takes time but you get there. Slowly but surely.

[popalot]

After the initial shock of my little family breaking up (the sleepless nights, the fear of being alone, the shock and grief of the end of something that was meant to last forever) I started to enjoy the newfound freedom of not having a partner. By the time a friend was introduced to me, I had decided I wanted to stay single longer! Luckily, I went on the first date and we haven't looked back since. By the time I met him, I knew what I wanted in a man and was content with myself and my personal strength because of a year and a half of singledom. He is wonderful and he thinks I am too. I am able to totally trust him and him me. We took our time with lots of talking and discovering eachother before we moved in together. It was a beautiful time and has led to a fulfilling relationship, the one I wanted all those years ago with my ex but that was clearly impossible.

[Vivacia]

Does anyone have a happy story of meeting someone new, after going through a break up they were devastated about?

Oh god yes.

[thisadhdmum]

Oh yes. Three years ago my Xp walked out when our dc was just 2 months old. I fell to pieces, didn't feel able to tell any of my family and friends for a good many months. My life as I knew it fell apart and I didn't feel able to stay in the place I loved as I had no support so ended up moving right across the country back to my family. I'm now engaged to the most wonderful man I could hope to meet. It was hell, and looking back I don't know how I managed it. Leaving my old house left me a wreck, I walked away from it crying my eyes out. But my new house became such a happy place, a wonderful opportunity for a fresh start, so much so that after six months here I'd quite safely say I was over my ex as I'd started a new life. Had no interest at all in finding someone else and was quite happily single. It DOES make you stronger in the end. I shudder to think that all of this happened just three years ago. It feels a lifetime away, and it truly doesn't matter anymore. You too will get to the stage where it just doesn't matter, and thats the most freeing thing of all.

[StaircaseAtTheUniversity]

Another one who had their heart smashed to smitherines. Had been in love with and subsequently in a relationship with the same man from the age of 13. At 22 he upped and left and I thought I would die. That's not hyperbole, I didn't know how I was going to carry on. I loved him so much and just didn't know how there would ever be any room in my heart for anyone else.

It took a while and I was miserable for a while....When I was 25 I then met DH unexpectedly and boom! Loved him even more than I knew it was possible. Restored my faith in everything.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

When I first met my ExH, I thought, "that's the man I'm going to marry". I was NUTS about him. We were married for 8 years, had 2 DC, and although I wasn't happy (we were horribly incompatible), I was still infatuated with everything about him. Then he left. :-( I was in bits. Literally looked ahead and could see NO future, nothing at all, just blackness. The actual split was hard - messy, shouty, angry, crap behaviour on both sides really.

Six months later, my lovely cousin had moved in with me, I'd joined a gym and was on the way to losing 3 stone, and joined a dating site just for a confidence boost, expecting NOTHING.

Met DP, who is 100,000 times the man ExH is. We get married this summer. I've bought a house, the DC are both happy, I've regained half the weight I lost but splitting up was the very best thing that could've happened to me. Now I look ahead and my future is a wedding, creating a garden, saving money for holidays...

[Shodan]

Definitely.

After my divorce (which wasn't the devastating break up!) I had a relationship with someone who I thought would be forever. He broke up with me and it absolutely slayed me.

I dated for three years, on and off, but never found anyone who made me feel remotely like 'The One'.

But I really value that three years- it clarified in my mind what was important to me. My life with just me and ds1 was good enough that I said it would have to take someone really special to change that status quo. DH was.

Incidentally- I met up with the dumper just a couple of years ago (all with DH's full knowledge, I must add). I really, really don't understand what I saw in him (as a romantic partner) Must've had some funny spectacles on at the time, I reckon...

[CheeseandPickledOnion]

I thought my life was over when after 6 years of marriage I found out my husband was cheating on me. Then to top it all while I thought we were working things out living separately, I found out he got the OW pregnant and was still seeing her. (I have fertility issues). I was beyond devastated.

It's now nearly 2 years since the final blow. I've been with my new Partner for over year. And I'm 100 times happier. With a very different person but someone far more suited to me and someone who loves me very differently and makes me happy every single day.

[hippymama1]

Oranges I am sorry you are feeing so awful - my heart really goes out to you... Heartbreak is awful.

I also broke up with my abusive ex in my late 20s and although it was my decision to end it, I felt like I had no choice and it was utterly awful. I ended up very isolated as all of my friends seemed to be our mutual friends and I was completely heartbroken, starting all over again and very, very lonely.

The next couple of years were really hard and I made all sorts of silly decisions when it came to relationships, trying to recreate what I thought I had lost. In the end though, I decided that I couldn't be bothered with the whole thing any more and I would just concentrate on my own stuff.

Approximately 5 seconds later, after declaring I would be a spinster with cats and actually being happy about it, I met DH. It took a few years and a few mistakes for me to get to a point where I was ready for an equal relationship (although I thought I was for a long time before - hence the mistakes) but DH is the best H and best person I have ever met and I couldn't have appreciated how awesome our relationship is unless I had had all of those previous experiences...

I am sure that you will meet someone and have a happy ending although it probably doesn't feel like that now - just make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get over this and to heal and make plenty of mistakes too.

[Jolene80]

Thanks everyone for these stories, I am in the midst of heartbreaking divorce and you have shown me a ray of light. than you