I hope some of you will relate to what I am feeling and going through - and not think I am too much of a psycho!
I'm in quite a new relationship - we met online in January and have carried on seeing each other more and more. In July, he told me he had fallen in love with me and I was over the moon. The problem is - I feel like I am obsessed with him and so insecure! I haven't let on these feelings I don't think and when he describes me to other people he says I am a strong, confident business woman.
This is the first 'new' relationship I have had after only really having two serious relationships before but they were both long, with little or no gap and I first got married at 18 so I have never really been single before and now in my late 30's - I honestly don't know how to do this new relationship bit, how I should behave in terms of amount of contact (and content) etc.
He treats me like a princess when we are together, but when we are not - it feels like 'out of sight, out of mind'. Is that just men? He does text nearly every morning - although the difference between us is that I would text as soon as I woke up and he would wait until he got to work, or was free in the morning and as stupid and childish as it sounds, I don't understand why he wouldn't text before he left for work either! God I sound like a fruitcake. There are many situations like this though.. He would text at 8ish saying he was having a pint in the pub and would call in a bit when home. Then he would get home but not call, then he would text saying he's making dinner and not call then finally about 10.30pm - he'll call for a 10 minute chat. Do I sound absolutely bonkers?
The other thing with it is that I feel like I do all the arranging to see each other. We only see each other at weekends as he lives about 40 miles away but it can get to Friday and if I haven't instigated the plans, he won't either until very late on in the day. I don't know if he is playing games - or again, is this just a man thing?
I can't stop thinking about him! I literally wake up thinking about him and think about him until I go to sleep! I have never been like this with anyone before and I also get paranoid that when he doesn't text for a while, he is with someone else and he always has a completely viable reason for not being in touch.. just watching tele, doing housework or on the phone to work but even so, every time - I think the same thing again!
The only thing is, when we first started dating, after about 3 months, he suddenly disappeared after spending the weekend together and didn't talk to me for 4 days. I didn't contact him either once I figured out what he was doing and he got back in touch with me and asked to pick back up from where we were. Now, I can't stop panicking that he is going to do this again.
Things since then have improved dramatically though as he has introduced me to his DD and his parents quite a few times and is 'public' with me on Facebook.. something which his friend (and also ex-girlfriend) told me is quite a big deal for him!
My other thing I think about and don't know is - when do people move in together? 6 months, 1 year, 2 years? I don't feel like I really know him properly yet so I wouldn't so it yet anyway - but it would be nice to know that was on the cards but I'm always so afraid to bring things like that up so I don't scare him away.
Would love to hear advice and/or other people's experiences of how to 'handle' men. In a nutshell, I feel like I have to play some kind of game to keep him keen and want to progress things.. but really don't know how! I guess it's worked so far though (not game playing, just only texting or calling once out of the 10000 times I actually want to haha)
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Angst, excitement and uncertainly of new relationship
excitedbutscared · 30/09/2014 13:02
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