Hi, I just wanted to share a story with all to see if you could help. I'm again in a desperate tearfull state and can't sort this.
I'm a mid 30's mum of two beautiful little boys. I live in a leafy suburb with my children and partner and have been having horendous relationship problems.
Here's my story, hoping so much someone can help or advise. Sorry it might be a bit long.
A little over 10 years my partner who's salesman went to an office party and stayed the night in a hotel. I knew when he came home something was wrong as he brought me some flowers. Not saying all flowers mean guilt but we had little money and didn't really buy gifts for wach other like that with things tight.
I had a bad feeling from the start about the party and it started to play on my mind. Things got bad with us arguing and being distant and I blurted out that I thought he was seeing someone else. He got all red faced and I knew this was true. After weeks and weeks of crying and asking him he eventually told me he went back to a hotel room with a girl from the sales office.
He told me he was too drunk to do anything and ended up just lying in bed with her. After him telling me this I broke down and ended up on anti-depressants as I just couldn't believe what had happened.
The pressure got so much after a few weeks I ended up tracking down this girl who was actually married and phoning her up. She told me they had sex and even asked me if there is anything else she can help me with!
I put this to my partner but he said he was telling the truth and she was lying and that he loved me and was sorry. I was devasted that everything I thought we had was lost.
My partner soon after quit his job and we tried many times to sort things out to keep our family together.
Over the past 10 years we seem to go round in circles. Things are ok and then I get distant from him and again bring up the past and ask him exactly what went on, he tells me he is telling the truth and we are ok for a bit and then I get depressed.
I can't get past this. All I want to know if the truth I feel as a mother I deserve that and my children don't suffer with me breaking down, crying and feeling sad.
I love my partner and he says he loves me but I can't bare this situation it is making me really ill.
I know it is 10 years ago but things just trigger my thoughts and I can't get closure as I feel I will never know who is telling the truth. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
I'm close today to leaving him as it has just got bad again, I don't know if this is the right thing to do as deep down I really love him.
I'm sat on the stairs crying again wondering what to do. Do i push him more for the truth, try to forget and live my life in circles of depression or just move on. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Yours Gemma
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
tearfull help needed with my relationship
gemmanails · 06/06/2014 15:33
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