Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating thread 55, everyone welcome!

(1000 Posts)
lubeytoobooby Fri 31-May-13 13:19:39

Woop! Lubes is BACK grin

newbies, daters, those taking a break, online dating real life dating or otherwise, and the loved up.... all welcome!

Off we go -chit chat away.

(I might even dip a toe back in myself)

MirandaWest Fri 31-May-13 13:21:45

Hello smile

lubeytoobooby Fri 31-May-13 13:24:44

Good luck meeting the parents Miranda, you'll do grand, don't worry!

Kirstywirsty Fri 31-May-13 13:27:35

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. If it is not fun, stop

Kirstywirsty Fri 31-May-13 13:29:53

Marking my spot - been seeing Rocky for almost 4 weeks .. all going quite well I think .. We seem to be quite a good match .. want the same things ( lots of lovely sex and no commitment but only seeing each other) and the chemistry is great

KinNora Fri 31-May-13 13:43:34

Hello lovely shiny new thread, she's not said anything yet - hmmm, as a rule she thinks it's fine to say whatever she wants to me, frequently based on her own obsession with weight.
Last time she said anything she compared my legs to my famous-for-having-horrible-legs grandma's, I refuted this as although they ain't the endless supermodel limbs of my dreams, I don't have cankles.
She is also obsessed with any hint of underwear on show as she believes it's 'immodest' - fortunately she is blissfully unaware of me having had spectacular sex in the Scottish countryside which would put me off the 'immodest' scale and cause her to disown me.

Lubey yes I'm off again and can't wait. It will have been four weeks since I saw him. Again, no return ticket but planning on a week or 10 days this time. I like it at his place, it's like being on holiday.

Kin does showbiz have a place in Scotland?

Kirsty that sound like a perfect arrangement, a relationship really without any hassle and he seems a good'un

VelvetSpoon Fri 31-May-13 13:55:25

Quick <wave> to new thread!

Things are better for me. Children are (ftb) manageable, job is great and I am enjoying some slightly inappropriate flirting with the oldenoughjusttobemydad guy I am working for, who holds eye contact with me just a bit too long and thinks all the work I'm doing is great (he's right of course!). No real progress with C but I am rather smitten (work stuff being just a bit of harmless fun!) and will be seeing him again soon, and am hopeful things are going in the right direction.

And I've lost a stone in 4 weeks smile

Hope everyone else is well and happy, not at all up to speed with everyone's dating etc, will try to keep up with this thread a bit better now I have less of a doomcloud hanging over me smile

lubeytoobooby Fri 31-May-13 13:56:01

oooh lovely Juliette grin

and yes Kirsty that's exactly my preferred kind of arrangement.Brilliant! Go girl!

Moanranger Fri 31-May-13 14:14:31

Hi, all, about time for new thread. Meet Up guy update - two excellent nights of passion, but now I am in emotional panic mode, as he has suddenly "disappeared". I am probably channelling my inner 15 YO again as it has not been 48 hours since I last heard from him - we both very busy, no hint of issues in his last text, but suddenly - nothing! I am hoping lost mobile or something.
My insecure side notes that he spent several days at ex-Ps house ( where his kids live) dIYing, but there is always the possibility of ex re-emerging as a "let's try again" situation. Help!
Juliette Montague any words of advice? My freak out is around trust - trusting someone enough to sleep with them, trusting them enough to believe they say what they mean.
Dating - yuk!!!

Iwantavwcamper Fri 31-May-13 14:47:14

Hello everyone. I'm a long time lurker and think all your goings on and advice are just fab. I've been seeing a guy I met in RL for about 6mths. He's lovely and we get on really well. The downside is that he's really busy work wise and I'm a single, working mum to 3 teenagers so getting together is difficult sometimes. We used to met up a couple of times a week initially but seems to be weekly now although can be longer gaps if he's away working. We do text a lot though, very chatty/flirty and he's very open about where he is and what he's up to. I'm not looking for a new partner too live with me or anything but sometimes feel like I'm doing all the giving to fit in to see this guy when it fits in with him. It feels a bit lopsided IYKWIM. Any thoughts? I've stayed over at his place several times, he's met the children once but never stayed over. I'm worried that I'm starting to invest more than him. Is that just a female thing to worry like that now we've been together for about 6mths. This is my first relationship post divorce(exH left for OW almost 4yrs ago).

KinNora Fri 31-May-13 14:50:27

How lovely to hear you sounding so much happier Velvet and bravo on both the weight loss and the flirting with the boss.

Moan it is hideous, you have my sympathy, the inner 15 year old is always waiting to pounce. The thing is that if they're going to disappear or make the beast with two backs with their ex, they'll do it regardless so the worrying just serves to make you feel bad, I tell myself that I'm not that bothered, big whatever and go off doing things that make me happy. I realise that self-deception isn't an ideal way to manage anxieties but it helps me.

Juliette - nah, Showbiz hasn't got a place in Scotland, Spud Wankface lives up there.

T2710 Fri 31-May-13 15:23:11

Will catch up in a mo, just marking a place

Snapespeare Fri 31-May-13 17:02:07

Very quick thread mark, off to namelesses for the evening. Going to drive over as 15yo DS1 is home alone and not 100% certain that I should do a sleepover tonight. DS seems OK in himself, but hasn't had house to himself overnight before. Haven't made up my mind whether to drive back tonight, or tomorrow. Hmm. Thoughts?

Lovely to see a happy velvet it's nice when you're feeling awesome, because you are. smile

lubeytoobooby Fri 31-May-13 17:13:38

Snape I left DD overnight now and then from age 15. No probs at all. Depends on the individual teen I suppose

WarmFuzzyFun Fri 31-May-13 17:21:26

Well hello thread 55! (Said in a Cilla Black 'Blind Date' stylee)

Snape, I would go home, if you are not sure. Otherwise you might spend the night worrying and not really relaxing/sleeping (after 'activity' time).

I will be back....

RafaellaNhaKyria Fri 31-May-13 17:44:24

Hello everyone!

Think I'm meeting up with oil rigger to see the new Star Trek movie tonight. And if he can't make it, I am going by myself!

Find myself actually wishing for his company though.

Bant Fri 31-May-13 18:28:07

Hello camper (I can hear Ruth Madoc from hi-de-hi in my head)

Has he not sleep over as either of you are uncomfortable about the DC? Sometimes work can take a priority especially once a relationship is established, but it can feel like being taken for granted.. How old ate your DC? And does he have his own kids?

T2710 Fri 31-May-13 18:34:09

I think it depends on how mature a 15 y/o he is, in sure you know best, just do whatever you feel comfortable doing smile

This has got me wondering, is there anyone here with younger children? My ds is only 19m

contortionist Fri 31-May-13 18:42:07
Iwantavwcamper Fri 31-May-13 18:47:26

Ho-de-Ho Bant !! Yes it felt strange for me at the beginning to have him here with the DC's and because he has his own house and lives on his own its been fine to spend time there. He does have his own children, 5yo twins who live with his exPartner. She works away two days a week(stays away overnight) so he stays at her place to look after them. They are on fairly good terms and it works best as all the children's stuff is there etc. I'm not sure how I start to integrate him into my life a bit more; I don't want him to feel like I'm putting pressure on, I'm not at all I just like spending time together. I worry a bit when I suggest something and he declines because he's busy ir something. I think as well I have these moments of insecurity because of what happened with exH and also have a tendency to overthink things maybe.

Iwantavwcamper Fri 31-May-13 18:48:26

Oh meant to say my lot are 17,14,12

Hi all! Feeling better at the moment, sunshine and drinks with a friend tonight have helped.
Also am subject to a rather romantic persuing from a chap I used to work with. We went on a date end of last year and spark wasn't really there for me. Then it emerged he had a girlfriend of sorts and she saw texts and texted me, all very awkward and I wrote him off. He's now texting, fb'ing and now has messaged me on POF and has changed his description of himself to say he's looking for 'someone like Dolly who I used to work with, she'd be perfect but I fear I have ballsed that up and made an arse of myself' blush Not sure how the other women on the site will be impressed with that but it did raise a smile smile What do you think? Worth meeting for a drink? The sort of girlfriend is off the scene, obv. I just feel that if we meet again and it's still not there for me then I've led him up the garden path. Sigh.
Cop boy still seems keen but no date arranged after a week of chatting and phone calls....
By the way I have young ones too, almost 4 and 14 month old DD's.

oopsadaisymaisy Fri 31-May-13 19:31:25

Hi all, I'm on the dating scene again and having fun mostly but its a minefield. So, fwb texts today asking if I'm free over the weekend, I tell him no I'm not then he texts saying he's back with his ex and wanted to meet to tell me face to face. It would seem chivalry is not dead. So, he's dropping dvd back to me Sunday. sad

This thread is not accepting new messages.