Would you go on a date with a man who used the term "bunny boiler"?

[Scarletohello]

So I met a guy on the internet, he seemed quite nice so we arranged to meet for a drink. I asked for his mobile no so I could text him when I got to the pub. He seemed quite reluctant to give it to me and when I asked why, he said it was in case I turned out to be a " bunny boiler" I bloody hate that phrase and told him I didn't want to meet a guy who regarded women like that. Of course he was v apologetic but I didn't meet him. What do other people think,was it an overreaction or a red flag?

[burberryqueen]

Scarlet, if it was your gut reaction, go with it.

[rubyslippers]

Your gut is telling you something

Listen to it

[burberryqueen]

lol x post

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

They beat me to it

[AuntieStella]

I'd be bothered more about withholding his number than his turn of phrase.

If giving out his mobile number is too much for him, he's no where near ready for a date let alone a relationship. You were right to swerve.

[Branleuse]

he's reasonable and so are you. Incompatible. Thats fine

[AlfalfaMum]

No.
Also, he's probably married.

[CashmereHoodlum]

No. And the reluctance to give you his number would be a red flag too.

[Machli]

No. Would out me right off.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

LOL!! The term itself wouldn't bother me particularly (hide of a rhino) but the implication that women would think he was worth stalking is hilarious.

As my DS would say 'epic fail'

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Dodgy and best avoided OP - nothing like knowing where you stand early on.

[Viviennemary]

When I first read the title I thought you were making something out of nothing. But now I've read your post I'd say avoid like the plague. He sounds a suspicious character. I bet he's hiding something. He sounds awful.

[badinage]

No - it's a gut-wrenchingly horrible term used only by male and female sexists.

[LapsedPacifist]

The term 'bunny boiler' says volumes about his attitude towards women, who are, let's be honest, FAR more vulnerable than men when giving out personal info and/or meeting strangers for the first time!

[zippey]

I dont agree tha using the term is a reflection on someone attitudes, male or female. Its a turn of phrase people use, a bit like "smack head" or "wino" - I disagree it means anything.

However, I agree with most offerings on here that its a red flag that he doesnt want to give his mobile phone out. He is ready to meet you but not ready to give out his phone number?

If you do still want to meet him, I would give it some more time and talk on the phone too, to gauge things.

[hellsbells76]

Dodged a bullet there. It was very helpful of him to come out with such a revolting misogynist phrase before you'd even had to waste any time meeting him :)

[Scarletohello]

Hellsbells, I like that phrase, dodged a bullet! I should tell him that ( but actually no, I'm not going to waste any more time on him) thanks for all the replies, glad people feel as strongly about it as me. In fact I think reading mn threads has made ne more aware of red flags and more able to set clear boundaries around them!

[WafflyVersatile]

Well maybe he had a bad experience in the past. Either way it doesn't matter whether I would. And I probably wouldn't. You wouldn't and that's fine. YANBU.

[MistyB]

It is possible he couldn't think of the words, 'I think it is wise not to give out my mobile number to someone I have only had Internet contact with but I'll have my smart phone with me and you can message me on line when you arrive.' and the other words just slipped out and he is now kicking himself. I wouldn't give out my number to someone I hadn't met yet.

[ellengeorgia]

I agree OP I hate that phrase too... so sexist

[Scarletohello]

The irony is he's sent me about 5 messages online since practically begging me to meet him! Guess it's him who's a bit of a bunny boiler now ha ha...

[hellsbells76]

Oh the irony. What a tosser. WELL rid.

[CashmereHoodlum]

Glad you listened to your instinct, Scarletohello.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Oh he was projecting his own weaknesses onto you..... ahhh..... that old chestnut.

[Lavenderhoney]

I wouldn't hand my mobile number over on the Internet either, but people used to meet for dates before mobiles. What's wrong with saying " 10am at Starbucks".

He could have had a bad experience though, which would make him think twice about handing over numbers- its not a reflection on you, personally, as he hasn't met you. He might be ok, just cautious.