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Dirty little secret....why?

(40 Posts)
SummersComing1111 Sun 28-Apr-13 18:13:21

Ok im ready for the cold hard truth so hit me straight on with it.

Me and my ex have been back together for about a month i asked him when we was gonna tell his friends, he said he wasnt hmm his excuse he doesnt want to ruin things , how his mates knowing could ruin things i dont no....

I no deep down its something bad but i think i need to see it to believe it kind of thing

So why am i a dirty little secret and what should i do ??

coffeewineandchocolate Sun 28-Apr-13 18:15:15

He has a girlfriend or he's using you for sex. Or both. Get rid!

EmmaDale Sun 28-Apr-13 18:19:12

You split up for a reason ... going back again is generally not a good idea.

Ex's are ex's often for good reason.

You know it could be bad, why hang around to find out what the truth actually is?. You know he cannot be trusted.

BriansBrain Sun 28-Apr-13 18:24:10

He can't think very much of you.

There will be a reason why he is keeping you as a secret and it won't be a good one.

McBalls Sun 28-Apr-13 18:30:15

I would assume that during the split he moaned the ear off anyone willing to listen about everything he's ever disliked about you (real or embellished) which is perfectly normal...the problem is how do you go back on that without looking A) like a fantasist or B) spineless?

SummersComing1111 Sun 28-Apr-13 18:35:52

My runners up were
Using me
Ashamed of me
Or the fact all his mates are single and wants to fit it

Are we sure there are no good reasons?? Just really wanted it to work this time hmm being daft i no

SummersComing1111 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:16:06

Mcballs, would that still matter if he loved me like says he does?

TurnipCake Sun 28-Apr-13 19:21:29

Doesn't matter what he says, what he's doing is not love or loving.

When my ex and I got back together, he didn't tell anyone as it was easier for him to arrange trysts with other people

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sun 28-Apr-13 19:31:57

Soumds iffy - ruin things how, just how long are you expecting to tiptoe around?

SummersComing1111 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:02:54

I thought a month was long enough he hasnt given me a time , just wish i new why???

TheNewSchmoo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:08:47

If he loved you he'd be delighted you're back together and telling anyone who'd listen.

pinkyredrose Sun 28-Apr-13 21:12:34

Maybe it's because you write 'no' instead of 'know' and 'new' instead of 'knew' and he thinks his mates would tease him for going out with someone who can't write properly.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sun 28-Apr-13 21:14:51

Or maybe he is always putting you down with snidey comments.

McBalls Sun 28-Apr-13 21:30:21

"Mcballs, would that still matter if he loved me like says he does?"

It depends on a lot of things probably...

How long we're you together last time?
We're you openly together, ie his friends/family fully aware of you, you met them all etc?
How long since you split?
Who dumped who and why?

But really all that matters is if its making you feel like shit and his reasons for keeping it quiet don't cut the mustard then you would be doing yourself a disservice by continuing.

beth27123 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:36:50

Id get out while you can. I had an ex say this for 5 months, went along with it as I was so happy to be back with him (despite that niggling feeling) and then found out he had got back with his other ex too.

Nagoo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:40:03

The reason will not be a good one.

get out.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Sun 28-Apr-13 21:50:05

pinkyredrose

Did you mean to be so rude???

Don't be a secret. Very bad for your self esteem.
Pinkyredrose. Are you a)trolling b) rude or c) an enormous wanker?

DiscoDonkey Sun 28-Apr-13 21:56:27

From a previous similar experience I would say you aren't back together. Sorry.

pinkyredrose Sun 28-Apr-13 21:57:16

Um why the aggression towards me? I thought it was a perfectly good post.

ThePinkOcelot Sun 28-Apr-13 22:05:06

You thought wrong then Pinky!

pinkyredrose Sun 28-Apr-13 22:08:49

Ok I apologise and no I didn't mean to be rude.

Anyway it's painfully obvious that the OP can do better I hope she realises that too.

McBalls Sun 28-Apr-13 22:12:57

Yes you did, but whatever.

DiscoDonkey Sun 28-Apr-13 22:13:03

Wow pinkyredrose if you genuinely didn't mean to be rude then please don't post on threads where op's are looking for support, you're really bad at it!

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