I'm in love with somebody else :-(
We've been friends through work for a long time, but over the last year or two, we seem to have gradually fallen in love.
That sounds terrible. I have never felt like this before about anyone.
The depth of feeling that comes from loving someone based on gradually getting to know their character and personality over a long period of time has blown me away.
When I met dh, the initial attraction was all based on looks and was very much a physical thing. Obviously the growing to love each other then was based on more than that, but I still know that we would never have got that far if it wasn't for the looks thing.
The new man, I wouldn't have looked at twice across a crowded room, but I have fallen in love with him through our friendship, and now I think he is gorgeous!
Anyway, so our 'relationship' has now gone as far as kissing and texting all day every day. I can't stop thinking about him.
Apart from him and dh, there has never been anyone else in my life. I settled down with dh when I was 17. I'm now 35 and we have 3 children.
Every conscience thought that I am in control of tells me, I want to stay with dh, I want my family together, I DO NOT want to bust our lives apart.
BUT, my heart says so different. My heart is gone. I love the OM now and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
I know the answer is 'I am in control of my own actions'. I know this and I did stop all contact with OM for a period of about 5 months. I saw him again a couple of months ago, and now we're right back to square 1.
I almost wish he didn't feel the same way. That it was just some silly one sided crush. But it's not. I'm going to push him away. I'm going to plod on day by day with my family life, but I'm always going to know now that there is someone else out there who I could be so happy with.
I was happy enough with dh before I knew what it was like to feel like this about someone. Nothing can ever undo that now.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I have massively screwed up my marriage, and I desperately want to get it back.
SecretJewel · 01/04/2013 15:17
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