Hi, you must have heard this all before.... but its new to me. i've no real r/l friends and cant talk to my family yet.
i'm mid 30s [D]H early 40s married 8 years. sex life was really good when we were going out and then early years of marriage but has waned for the last 4-5 years. I love him, but he doesnt, bless him, turn me on. It seems same for him. We havent had sex for more than 3 years now. We're really good and the best of friends (or so i thought) and have had a good relations otherwise. He's always wanted kids and i've now said ok but then felt he was holding back recently. When i told him about 3-4 times a week to conceive he said he was sorry he's not been up to it cos of work issues (more on that below).
He's very precious with laptop and phone and always has been. It has bothered me a little and i've tried to look before but never found anything.
Till today. I checked his internet history this morning and have found that he's been on Adultfriend finder and another site for the last 3 week (that's how far internet history goes). He has a log on but i cant hack it.
He was not working for about 3 years and had left some jobs falling out with MDs, but has been gainfully employed the last 6 months. It's been life on my salary for 3 years and i make more than him now. BUT he doesnt tell me about money which has annoyed me in the past, but now scares me.
Recently, i've been fantasising about men i fancy cos i want to be with someone who'll sweep me off my feet. But i'm a realist and feel that may not happen or something else will be wrong with the guy.....i'm very very picky.
One thing that gets me is that i am the 'most likely to stray' one, and when we first got together he said straying will be the only unforgiveable in his eyes. I must say he's been very patient with me and my stupidity throughout the marriage.
What am i looking at here. Please help. I have an older brother i am very close to but no other females i can really speak with. Mom's a recent widow and a constant worrier, she wont be able to cope with this.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
a common situation!!
bustedmonkey · 09/03/2013 10:11
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