Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Wed 23-Jan-13 17:50:25

Hello, I'm Mouse smile

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! grin)

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

Mouseface Wed 23-Jan-13 17:53:18

And for now, we're still over HERE until the thread is full.

See you soon smile

aliasjoey Wed 23-Jan-13 18:27:25

I'm first!

Mouseface Wed 23-Jan-13 21:15:13

You're norty!!!! Get back over there! grin

<< hauls Barry the (s)oiled squid on board and gives him a prime seat to monitor the Brave Babes' arrival later. >>

I like being norty...
<<polishes Gerald's bumper and gets the tea brewing>>

helpyourself Thu 24-Jan-13 07:26:08

Morning all. Marking place! I will now go back here until it's full.

greeneyed Thu 24-Jan-13 09:39:29

Hello lovelies, ohclutter forgive me I've forgotten your aim - is it total abstinence, controlled drinking, weekend drinking? Where would getting the bottle of red fit in with that?

Mouseface Thu 24-Jan-13 09:45:30

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Nemo is officially poorly and spent most of last night with DH and I doing shifts. He was sick around half two and then seemed to perk up. he's had a red face and ear for two days..... seems he is just off the boil but with nothing in particular sad

IsinDe - I love doing a new thread because I know you'll post on it just to get put in the norty seat! grin

Help - how is your face today? I meant to ask what your new job is, but it's fine if you'd rather not say smile

Mia I have a water tank on order for Barry, there's a nice soft bed at the back for MonsterCat and a crate for Seth so he doesn't eat you all grin

Purple - how are you today?

Curry - you out there lovely or are you working?

Clutter - how do you feel today?

<leaves a bucket full of hugs for those who need them and Barry's with his wet tentacles for those who need a slap from him!>

Today I will be mostly looking after Nemo and pottering around the house, doing jobs. And posting stuff! Oh the high life. grin

Over here mouse sorry was playing the game of getting toddler washed, teeth brushed & dressed, was actually fun today as opposed to usual battle! My boot camp is going kinda well, I've lost 2 lbs so think I'll have a toasted crumpet & coffee, lavly fank you (( )) xx
green I want to be able to enjoy a social drink like the next person but time & again prove to myself that I can't. I feel wine (white in particular) is my demon and if I can not drink white them maybe I'll be ok??
But then I feck up, get ridiculously drunk, have the hangover from hell and the cycle goes on!! X

babyjane1 Thu 24-Jan-13 10:04:08

Morning babes. I've been having a real hard time with my crohn's and have managed to convince myself that my nightly bottle is
Medicinal. when I'm very bad like this I can't leave the house so a combination of pain boredom and frustration let the wine witch right in the door. mouse how did you break the cycle, we are in slightly similar situations on that we have a teenager, a toddler and a painful illness, I would love to hear your full story. I'm still toying with going to AA but I think deep down I still think I can stop if I choose to and yet the pattern each night remains the same. My parents and dh don't really look to closely at my drinking there's a bit of "och she deserves a few wines after
All that pain" in reality I should not be doing anything to wilfully damage my already damaged body. Can I ask what amounts you are all drinking, I need some perspective, this thread is the only way I can articulate my thoughts so forgive the me me me post, xxx

eminemmerdale Thu 24-Jan-13 10:08:11

Just getting on - here's my fare grin

MrsMalinky Thu 24-Jan-13 10:49:45

I drank last night sad DH had a job interview and it went really well, so he appeared with wine when he got home. I was sitting with a cup of tea and said "no thanks" and he looked gutted and said he thought we could celebrate. This is the problem with not talking to him about my "problem" - he doesn't realise he's not helping sad

Anyway the good news is I had 3 small glasses and that was it - usually I would have had way more than that. Absolutely gutted with myself though sad I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY.

Hope everyone did better than me.......

babyjane1 Thu 24-Jan-13 11:10:42

mrs don't worry you did what "normal" people do in that situation, it's ok as long as its the exception and not the rule x x

babyjane1 Thu 24-Jan-13 11:32:21

How are all you babes today? X

Hi babyjane I'm doing better today after 4 day hangover. I can emphasise with you about the trials and tribulations of having a toddler & teenager, it's blinking well exhausting. Fortunately I don't have health issues to contend with, think I would be reaching for a glass of something at the end of the day too. I'm a binge drinker so don't drink daily which maybe I I did I wouldn't get so pissed! I sometimes think maybe if I had a couple of glasses every night then I could handle myself better when our. When I go out I'm probably quite tipsy after one large glass but then go on to have many more. My behaviour changes from fun to demonic! Then the hangovers are from hell!
I hope your getting some relief from your pain ((( )))) xx

babyjane1 Thu 24-Jan-13 12:22:28

Am I in the right place, it's awfully quiet x x x

determinedma Thu 24-Jan-13 12:26:33

clutter funny how the grass is greener on the other side. My drinking is/was a couple of glasses a night, every night. Sometimes a bottle a night. But I never get pissed when out socially. I wished I didn't drink every night and would just have the occasional blow out! Guess we are never happy.
Trying to be supergood today as Bootcamp weigh in tomorrow.<munches almonds and low fat yoghurt> Yum .....hmm
this week so far has been AF Monday, Wednesday and tonight. No booze in the house and no money at all. Pay day tomorrow thank God

determinedma Thu 24-Jan-13 12:27:12

sorry - that message was for baby, not clutter

Mouseface Thu 24-Jan-13 13:11:56

MrsM - fab news re the interview with DH! smile

You say that you've not talked to him about your 'problem' and in your post you say that 'he looked gutted' so you had wine, I assume just to spare hurting his feelings?

Read that last line I have just written. Put it another way. If you were allergic to peanuts and he brought home peanut butter sandwiches to celebrate, would you have one to spare his feelings?

I'm not being mean, I'm really not and I realise that last bit makes me sound like a heartless bitch but take the emotion out of the situation.

If he wasn't your DH, just someone you knew, a colleague say, would you have said no thank you? Or would you have said to your DH can we celebrate when we hear about the job and bought yourself some time until you DO talk to him about your 'problem'?

I'm not trying to upset you at all, and I know that they are two very different and extreme examples, BUT when you are an addict, or abuse a substance, you KNOW you shouldn't take it. It does do you harm, even in small doses.

Sweetheart, why have you not talked to him yet? Are you afraid of his reaction? I got NO support from my DH at all. In fact he laughed at me when I said I thought I was an alcoholic. hmm

I may have missed posts from you explaining your situation but I'm here now and only want to help you if I can, if you want to explain what's holding you back from talking to him. Sorry to be so blunt. xx

<hopes MrsM doesn't run a mile>

Mouseface Thu 24-Jan-13 13:40:43

Also, MrsM - that was last night, today is a whole new YOU and a whole new day. And, FWIW, I'd have done the same as you, I'd have drunk the wine with DH because I had a reason to. He'd given me the green light I'd have wanted and in a heartbeat, the glass would have been in my hand. You're only human and just starting out.... give it time and keep posting, keep talking about what's happening so you can read back and see the good as well as any more bad bits smile xx

Freetobeme Thu 24-Jan-13 14:30:35

Hi, can I climb aboard the bus?
I have been trying to read through the whole thread from the beginning and am some way back but will catch up.
I have a drink problem that I have been Trying to sort out for about 2/3 years. I don't drink every day but am a terrible binge drinker. I managed 4 months sober after reading the Allen Carr book, that was about 18 months ago. I have tried drinking in moderation and got help from the GP to achieve this, it helped for a while but it didn't take too long for me to get back up to my usual levels.
My DH knows I think I have a problem. He Agrees I have a bit of a problem with the vino but doesnt think i am an alcoholic, and thinks i am overly hard on myself.
When I stopped last time I only told my DH and parents why. None of them could understand why I wanted to. I come from a family of big drinkers, and married into a family of even bigger drinkers so it is very hard to discuss with people in RL as they see what I do as normal.
I often feel horrible, crippling shame about having been the most drunk person at social events. I often feel like I am at the start of a roller coaster ride when I have that first glass of wine. I pretty much know that I will drink from that point of the evening until oblivion, out of control, getting faster and faster until I pass out. I hate being that person and don't know why I do it.
I think I probably need AA and total abstinence. Have not had a drink since Sunday after a very heavy weekend - and have had a week of tears remorse, sleepless nights etc. really want to stay off it the weekend and could do with some help and support.
To everyone who is struggling with this, the best of luck, keep going. I am still catching up so am back with Jesus, curry, Miflaw and co at the moment, but I will catch up and get to know where you all are with this too.

Mouseface Thu 24-Jan-13 14:35:06

Baby - The cycle broke me actually, quite literally.

I posted about it on the last thread I think? About why I stopped drinking the way I was but the cycle of drinking for me was habitual. Nothing more. DCs dealt with and in bed, out came the wine. Then DCs fed and out came the wine, then it's six o'clock, out came the wine. Then it was a shitty day and it was four o'clock so out came the vodka with wine in the fridge for later, poorly DCs, unexpected bill, great day out, lovely night in, pain levels through the roof, unexpected flowers from DH, Birthday, funerals...... you can see where this is going?

At the time I was on ADs too which just made them pointless really. The alcohol was undoing what the ADs were trying to do. I worked very closely with my GP who at the time refused to give me stronger pain meds unless I stopped drinking like I was. He understood because he himself had been in my shoes, drinking because of depression, stress and anxiety, knowing that the booze was only fuelling the flames. It was a habit that I thought worked to cure all of the above and numb the pain too.

Not the case.

My LFT was another clincher really. The doc basically said stop drinking or kiss your liver (at the very least) goodbye.

I don't know, life's just too short Baby. I can't bear the thought of no Nemo, DD or DH. I love breathing in and out. I love the snow we've had, the icicles dripping from the roof in the sunlight today look amazing. I can see them and will remember seeing them because I'm not drinking.

Something just clicks. Something just says 'that's enough now'. It's a really emotional feeling that washed over me. I was the ONLY person who could stop fucking up and I had to stop.

It was after when I started to refuse drinks politely that people would say "WTF's up with you Mousey?" "You ALWAYS drink and get wasted" "Are you ill?" "She's up the spout!" remarks like that.......

I didn't always say why, I didn't need to... some people where just stupid enough to make their own conclusions and I let them.

Comments like that made me look long and hard at why I drank. I felt so ashamed and upset at first. It was very hard to accept that I was that person. I stopped completely for a while and then started again. There was no reason as such.

I just fancied a drink so I had one and I stopped at one.

It's been like that ever since. My nigh time routine has to be a busy one otherwise I know that if I stop, and think about an ice cold drink, I'll want one and then have one but sometimes I know that it will be more than one and I HATE being drunk. It doesn't take much these days, 3/4 glasses of wine (125mls) and I'm gone. I hate it. I hate waking up feeling sickly and grey. The fuggy head, the achy body on top of my other pain is just not worth it.

Mouseface Thu 24-Jan-13 14:43:09

Welcome Free smile

I love the fact that you've taken yourself seriously and are doing something about your drinking regardless of the reactions from your DH and family.

Been in that boat too!

Personally, I've never been to AA but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go. I've heard wonderful success stories from people who have gone to AA....... why not give it a go if you are interested?

There's so much practical help out there........ you just have to decide where to start and my advice would be your GP who can talk you through all of your options. smile x

Welcome freetobeme I'm a new babe having joined in september. Lots of what you have said rings so so true with me. I was thinking today that I feel like wine is like a drug. I know it's bad for me, I know it gets me pissed to oblivion and I know once I start I can't stop but still I love that first glass because it gives me such a hit. I think it's amazing that you managed 4 months do shows with the right frame of mind you are equipped with the tools to say no. I also emphasise with coming from families where lots of drinking is the norm. When I was younger I used to think that my friends parents who were not big drinkers were very boring now I see how amazingly stable they were!
Huge good luck for your journey (( )) smile

This thread is not accepting new messages.