Slightly long story: For a long while I dated an older man, very dynamic person who wined and dined me and swept me off my feet. He was divorced but I slowly realised he would never commit to me. Not only had he (it seemed!) slept with half the women in England but was intent on sleeping with the other half too. In addition, he had a long-term girlfriend (I didn't know about her at first) - he didn't live with her but they were quite a couple and went on holidays together and he basically went around with her when he hadn't someone else on the go.... It was awful and I walked away.
But at Christmas he got in touch and then visited - I can't imagine how he persuaded me to let him. Now he has got me to agree to visit him for the weekkend next week (25th). But I've just discovered the following week he's going away on a big holiday to Japan and is taking his girlfriend with him. Nothing's changed!! And I'm being pretty stupid here, if I go to stay he's basically "using" me for sex, there really isn't any relationship on offer. I just don't want to go.
Thing is, I don't know how to get out of it. He can be very persuasive and then, if he doesn't get his way, become very, very angry. At first I thought I'd make excuses and pretend I had something else on or I was ill, but I just don't want to lie....and I shouldn't have to. I wondered whether to send a text along the lines of "I've realised 25th isn't a good idea after all. You're going away with XXXX to Japan, it isn't fair on her, I will feel guilty, I feel it's morally wrong and don't want to be placed in such a position. Let's forget it, have a good trip..." sort of thing.
What do others think, what would you advise?
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Relationships
I don't want to be the 'other woman'....
JourneyThroughLife · 18/01/2013 08:59
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