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support for emotional eaters!!

(149 Posts)
DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 20:22:42

Having had some really solid support on MN, I thought itwould be worth seeing if there are many other women who find themselves eating in order to occupy their minds, temporarily console themselves and to keep feelings pushed down!? Its got to the point where I have gone from voluptuous to matronly..not feeling my za za zing anymore! Really need to address weight for my health.its the evenings where I sit and pick, think, and also the evenings when I go on MN..so I thought, combine the two, and anyone else who sees something like this in themselves? Maybe we can support each other.smile

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 07-Aug-12 12:17:32

Hi fhd,

Yes i have had 32 sessions lol its part of my training etc.

I dont do any excercise really, I get rhuematiod arthritus a lot this can cause pains everywhere, and is especially set off by stress. Family life is good child and hubs are fab, but me rolls eyes, feels like I'm hitting the self destruct button sometimes. It's like that doctor heal thyself scenario, I am a counsellor to be, and cant seem to sort my one big problem which is my weight.

Dh could do with losing some weight, he has got bigger we both have since we got together, a lot of it is down to laziness i think, and taking the easier option.

javotte Tue 07-Aug-12 12:32:16

guilty and fhdl my husband is skinny. He comes from a country where food was scarce when he grew up and he simply cannot comprehend eating disorders. I think he'd be less puzzled if I was addicted to alcohol or gambling. We never discuss it but I suspect he believes I'm just greedy and lazy.

DippyDoohdah Tue 07-Aug-12 12:39:09

Ditto javotte ! He would probably think an opium habit more understandable !grin. Although they have a saying which makes sense..eat your fill at breakfast, share lunch with friends and give your evening meal to your enemy.(now giving self a good telling off for those those big evening dinners..)

Concentrateonthegood Tue 07-Aug-12 12:40:52

Dippy, definitely pleased you started this thread and also that you put it here. Just so sad that so many of us are blighted by the same problem.

Sponge, I often dip into the dating thread and keep up with what's going on and I'm sorry about the latest "interest". I've found that this dating business is what has triggered my issues off again. You've done amazingly well losing the weight that you have done and you just need to remind yourself that you did it for you.

Anyway, onwards, going to meet a nice guy that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks and he likes his women big and beautiful so I'm trying to like myself for what and who I am today and low and behold, I haven't eaten badly but sensibly today.

Good luck everyone!

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 07:48:51

Good for you, concentrate, hope it goes well!
Relaxing is key am sure.I just keep putting fresh starts off until tomorrow, which.never.comes!

janajos Wed 08-Aug-12 08:13:50

I had begun to despair until I went to see a herbalist two weeks ago. She correctly diagnosed some imbalances that I had helped to create through emotional eating and general stress levels being too high. She gave me some supplements (not expensive ones) and a herbal tonic (specific to my situation), and some very good advice and my appetite is now under control and I have lost 5lbs in the first week (weigh in on Friday for week two). It was the best money I have spent in a long time (£45.00 for consultation, £13.00 for tonic). My skin, hair and nails are better than they have been for years.....

I will keep you all posted if interested.

broodyandpoor Wed 08-Aug-12 08:37:01

two words Over-eaters Anonymous
It has saved my life

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 09:23:25

Brooxy I went there and one of the women put me off, being in my face with her nosy questions. There are 2 groups and she goes to both.

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 10:52:22

Any experiences and helpful suggestions are going to be helpful for all or some of us..food for thought!

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 10:54:43

I really want to go back to OA but
scared

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 11:32:20

Sole..contact your local group and speak to someone who goes there.ask to meet them for a coffee then go into group with them.
Or, it is fine in those kind of groups, to say why you were put off and how you prefer to be treated.take a friend for support? If you pm me and say area you are in, if it's near me I will come with you.am a drugs counsellor so have experience of groups etc

SoleSource Wed 08-Aug-12 12:12:44

Hi Dippy, I did meet the leader beforehand. This woman was one of the members. I am un B'ham. There are two groups here. Thank you x

lifeistooshorttodrinkcheapwine Wed 08-Aug-12 12:21:19

Read Eating less - say goodbye to overeating by gillian riley -its on amazon. This is really helping me with my overeating - the best of anything i have ever read

greenwichgroove Wed 08-Aug-12 12:33:55

Me! Gone from 8 to 14 stone in last few years sad used to be really fit and active, now cant walk up stairs without getting breathless. I also binge eat, full bag of party size crisps and chocolate in an evening sad

javotte Wed 08-Aug-12 12:57:20

I have developed short-term strategies to cope with overeating to a certain extent (going for a walk / putting sweets and biscuits at the back of the cupboard so I can't eat them absent-mindedly / etc.) but I'd really like to get rid of emotional eating altogether. Nothing has helped so far even though I know why I comfort-eat.

Shybairns Wed 08-Aug-12 13:23:01

Hi ladies, I'm definitely an imotional eater. When I have stress in my life I get very confused between wanting to give myself a little treat to cheer me up (as in a bar of chocolate) and also eating to because I don't care about myself and want to say fuck it I will have a bag or two of crisps.

I love Paul McKenna's book 'I can make you thin'. As he actually addresses emotional eating a n gives you techniques for reprogramming your mind as well as helping you to realise why your eating and pause long enough to try and stop your self.
Also his way of eating doesn't forbid you anything. He just askes you to only eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you're satisfied.

Having said that, its not easy to change old habbits. I went to Pizza Hut with a large group of DS friends and mums last night. And in my head I was thinking you should have the medium, Italian crust veggy supreme. But what came out of my mouth when I ordered was, a large half spicy beef and peperoni and half american bbq. And a Peroni. I was ordering the type of meal I would eat when I was easily slim and later when I didn't care about my size. Even as we sat there waiting for the food to arrive I was berating myself for another poor choice.

My main thoughts about stopping my overeating is, 1. Get more sleep, 2. Eat more friut and veg. 3. Try and exercise 3 times a week. And when I think I want chocolate either have friut or a drink or tell myself to wait ten minutes to see if the craving goes away.
Love myself more.

qumquat Wed 08-Aug-12 14:01:17

I've been through the mill with binge eating taking over my life for several years. I'm mainly ok now so thought I'd share some things which have helped:

Overeaters anonymous helped me a lot, and although I am disenchanted with it now and am extremely sceptical of all 12 step programmes, I would certainly recommend giving it a go, making use of the OA slogan "Take what you like and leave the rest".

The book "Potatoes not Prozac" was a revelation, it focuses on the effect of different foods on the body and brain rather than emotions. I had known for years that giving up sugar was something I needed to do for my sanity, this book enabled me to do it and improved my overall mood and health beyond recognition.

I also had therapy from a specialist in eating disorders. This was a massive battle. I think that nowadays professionals are more aware of binge eating disorder so I hope it's no longer as hard as it was for me.

I have to admit I haven't read the thread as I still find it all too painful although I've been mainly ok for the last couple of years. I hope these tips may help. x

qumquat Wed 08-Aug-12 14:17:23

The website linked to Potatoes Not Prozac is www.radiantrecovery.com x

HeftyHeifer Wed 08-Aug-12 14:18:11

OA didn't help me at all. It made me very wary about 12 step, although I do know that AA certainly has helped many. I prefer to not be 'powerless over food' and take responsibility for my own recovery... so I needed to find resources that gave me that responsibility..
The Gillian Riley book mentioned upthread did. But the biggest help for me has been SMART recovery. Free online meetings, forum and helpful website. There's a UK site which is just in its infancy but the main site has much more information and help. (it has a .org domain rather than the uk .org.uk one)

javotte Wed 08-Aug-12 14:32:03

qumquat how did you manage to stay off sugar on the long term? I also feel so much better (less tired, better mood, not to mention the pounds falling off) when I dramatically reduce my sugar and starch intake, but it only lasts a few months and then I start bingeing again without an identifiable trigger.

Sylvana Wed 08-Aug-12 22:08:38

I was a binge eater/emotional eater for years. I could never figure out why I turned to food. I eventually came to the conclusion that whatever I couldn't control had to go - this meant giving up chocolate (and anything containing sugar basically). It was hell at first, but the cravings eventually passed after a few weeks. After a few months I no longer had any desire for chocolate. When I eat chocolate now (which is rare) I can taste the sugar in it and it tastes vile to me.

Besides losing weight, giving up sugar had another amazing effect. For the first time in 20 years I could control what I ate. I now eat a sensible b/f, lunch and dinner with good protein sources to help fill me up. Sugar is empty calories, it increases appetite and makes you want to eat more, not less. It is the food of the devil!

If you want to get some control over your eating, seriously consider giving up all sugar. Its the best thing I ever did.

DippyDoohdah Wed 08-Aug-12 22:22:17

Feeling a tad silly asking this, but apart from sugar and obvious sweets, choc etc, how do you give up sugar?! I love fruit but that has natural sugar in....? Sounds interesting, the bit about mood stabilising appealing too!grin

Sylvana Wed 08-Aug-12 22:37:48

Dippy, fruit does have natural sugar in it and even though its good for you I prefer to get my vitamins and minerals from lots of veg instead. I read the labels on sauces etc and if sugar is the first or second ingredient, I put it back and choose another brand. I'm not obsessed by any means ... if I want pudding I'll have it, I just don't have it every day. But chocolate was a major problem for me - I couldn't control it and when I tried to avoid it I craved it like a mad woman!

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 07:29:38

Freaklikeme I agree that giving up sugar has amazing effects and the less you eat it, the less you crave it physically. Have you got an idea why after 4 or 5 sugar-free months I find myself emptying the biscuit cupboard? It has happened many times over the last 10 years.

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 07:39:02

I don't think I would give up sugar. Eat alot less of it yes, but not all together. When I'm eating healthily I eat more fruit and yoghurt as opossed to chocolate and biscuits/cake.

I eat for energy as well as all the other reasons. I'm tired every day and even if I'm not hungry, if I'm feeling worn out I'll reach for the choocolate to give me a lift. Of course the very high high means a very low low not long after. And so the day can go on.

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