Have namechanged.
I am married to a lovely DH and we have a great relationship except for sex. All the problems are with me not him. I have almost no desire for sex and don't get turned on. When we do it (which isn't often) I find it uncomfortable/painful and boring.
I haven't always been this way. I didn't have sex until we got married (joint decision) but when we were going out we used to play around a lot and I had orgasms really easily. For some reason (NO idea why) this stopped several months before we got married. I just completely lost my libido.
I was always afraid sex would be painful (struggled with tampons) and sure enough, the first few attempts were extremely painful (made evenings on our honeymoon not much fun :( ). I went to GP who referred me to gynaecologist to check for physiological problems. She said there was nothing wrong with me - just needed 'stretching' (eww!) and that is normal. I used dilators for a while until I got to the point of being able to tolerate sex but still no enjoyment. I occasionally managed orgasms when we took sex off the table but with difficulty. Sex was rare and a chore and always needed KY jelly.
Then ttc we had lots of sex and it did get a lot more comfortable but still no arousal.
I hoped that after having a baby I would've been stretched enough(!) and it wouldn't be at all painful but not so :( Nothing has changed except we have a lot less energy and opportunity for sex (ds is 7mo).
This isn't particularly causing problems in our relationship - DH is very understanding - but I feel bad for him and like we're both missing out on something that should be great. I remember what fun we had when we were going out!
Any advice greatfully received :)
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Relationships
help me sort out my sex life
shadowlands · 09/04/2011 20:22
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