I would like to share with you my wisdom about being nice to people

[LynetteScavo]

My husband is a very nice man.

So nice, that when I drive his ( very crappy) car with personalise plates in this small town people always let me out, let me have the parking space, etc. (This never happens to me when I'm in my car)
He has only ever been nice, and fair to people. He's quite well known in our small town.

This week our lives imploded, in a "you find out who your friends are" way. People could have pointed and laughed, but they didn't. People have only been kind, sympathetic, and genuinely lovely.

Then today I came face to face with one of the girls form school who didn't make my teenage years pleasant. She was one of a group of girls who had been quite horrid to me at high school, but I'd never stuck up for my self, never answered back, or retaliated. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me after all these years. (It wasn't mutual) I've often wished I'd been more assertive back then in high school, but the funny thing is, those girls who unintentionally made my life hell remember me as a nice person. They genuinely have no idea how unhappy they made me, and are really nice to me now we are old.

So, it's true; Be nice to people on you're way, up, coz you don't know who you'll meet on your way down! [grin}

[nickschick]

Lynette I think you are v nice.

[whenallelsefailsmaketea]

I am sorry to hear your life has imploded this week and trust that you and your family are okay and pulling together.

People who care about you will show it now you need them. It is quite life enhancing when it happens, even when horrid stuff is going on.

I have a younger sister who is lovely. She goes through life chattering to strangers and having cheery exchanges on buses and at checkouts and in shops with random people. She seems to be surrounded by laughter and lightness.
I used to find her "youngest child" charm tactics annoying but now I have learned to follow her example and life is so much easier and more fun.

[TDaDa]

LynetteScavo - sorry to hear...yes, you are very nice. And nickschick so are you...you must be..i recall that teenager asking you on a date ...you must be nice

[nickschick]

ohhh lol ....I had a major strop today though ......read my thread from earlier...

[TDaDa]

Not possible....where is it?

[LynetteScavo]

whenallelsefailsmaketea Fri 01-Oct-10 22:29:22



"I have a younger sister who is lovely. She goes through life chattering to strangers and having cheery exchanges on buses and at checkouts and in shops with random people. She seems to be surrounded by laughter and lightness."

That is DH!

I am actually a miserable cow (but in RL I'm slightly nicer than on MN, as I let it all loose on here).

Anyway, the point of may ramble is: just be nice to people.

[nemofish]

I am one of those nice people.

I have been critisised for being too nice, your thread makes me feel better about being a big fluffy bunny!

[LynetteScavo]

TDaDa and whenallelsefailsmaketea , you're kind to ask, but yes we're doing OK,(I think) and the DC are unaware. The implications are financial, but I love the way kids think everything is OK if you give them a Jaffa Cake.

[TDaDa]

LynetteScavo - about 2.5 years ago, the middle of the crunch, a large corporation screwed me financially...it did hurt and for several months i thought about it every awake minute of the day....2.5 years later I rarely think of it and life is fully back on track and possibly better (will never know)....focussing on DC was key

[nickschick]

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1053103-Had-a-raging-hissy-fit-with-teens-in-maccy-dsthis is it].

Lynette I try to live by 'whats meant to be always finds a way' some of what we remember as our poorest times are the happy times our dc recall.

[nickschick]

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1053103-Had-a- raging-hissy-fit-with-teens-in-maccy-ds this is it]. tries again

[nickschick]

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1053103-Had-a- raging-hissy-fit-with-teens-in-maccy-ds this is it].

[nickschick]

forgets it and drinks wine - sorry

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

very good advice, as awlays

[Kewcumber]

raging-hissy-fit-with-teens-in-maccy-ds this is it

[Kewcumber]

Thats me being nice

[jameelaq]

Well yes OP you are right in the sense that if you live in a small community this is of course true but when you live in a big city you come across complete cunts and if you let them fuck you over, they will.
And in what way did your life implode and people point and laugh?

[hmc]

Hope things are okay with you Lynette.

On the whole I am only 'neutral' to people and only nice once they have proven their worthiness

[TDaDa]

nickschick - make you responsible and brave...as well as nice. Well done.

[TDaDa]

All the nice MNers are coming out now...thank you Kewcumber

[Anniegetyourgun]

But Jamee, there is a big difference between being nice to people and putting your trust in them. You can smile and chatter but not give them a chance to fuck you over. It's a difficult balancing act but it can be done (wish I'd got it sorted myself mind you).

I think the thing is, some people will do the dirty on you whether you're nice to them or not, so you may as well behave decently. A smile costs nothing. Refusing can be done graciously; you can just as easily say "I'm sorry but I'm not able to guarantee that loan for you" (for example) as "feck orf, I wouldn't give you a brass farthing if you was the Queen of Sheba". Some people will still badmouth you for the crime of failing to do what they wanted, but that is their problem and they won't get a lot of sympathy.

[nickschick]

I think you can still smile but make people aware that you wont be messed around- clearly Lynettes dh is a lovely man who knows how to do this and just in case he doesnt ......lynette is right beside him .

TY kewcumber {smile].

[Kewcumber]

I think you mean ... you're welcome!

[nickschick]

I did mean that

[Kewcumber]

my kindness overwhelms me - though its beginning to make me feel a bit itchy...