Do teachers feel put out when parents hire tutors?

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Ds, Y5, could do with a little extra help over and above what the school are currently able to offer. I'm really happy with the school and love his teacher, but he's had a bit of a developmental leap over the last six months and we want to capitalise on this before secondary starts in 2012. So we're planning on hiring a tutor or sending him to Kip Mcgrath.

We (thankfully) don't live in a grammar school area and aren't considering private for secondary so this isn't about 11+ or Common Entrance, btw.

How do I approach his teacher about this? Will she think we think she's not good enough? Ds has been lucky enough to have had her since last year, which was her first as an NQT. She really is a fabulous teacher and being so new I don't want to dent her confidence!

[pozzled]

I wouldn't feel put out at all. I think the key is to make it sound very much as though the tutoring will be working alongside the teacher- ask the teacher which areas your DS would benefit from the most, and whether there are any specific targets e.g. punctuation or whatever. I would also be quite careful if you are considering tutoring for maths- if the tutor promotes a method they don't use in school it can get quite confusing for the child. So ask if the teacher could give you examples of how they expect the working to be set out for each of the 4 operations.

[mrz]

I don't feel out though I do feel that sometimes parents are wasting their money which of course is their choice.

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Good thinking, wrt maths methods pozz.

I don't think we'll be wasting money mrz. But we'll see!

[qualitystreetrosescelebrations]

I asked my dd's English teacher, whether she'd benefit in some additional tutoring, the teacher was most helpful, explained exact areas to ask for help in, and recommended a couple of tutors to us.

So definitely wasn't anti it. We used the tutor for 6 mths ish (Jan to summer term), and it was enough to get my dd up to speed.

[mrz]

I've seen children who have attended Kumon and Kip Mcgrath (at considerable cost) and not make any progress in NC levels but good luck

[qualitystreetrosescelebrations]

Personally I think there is a huge difference between having an individual tutor for a specific reason, be that not grasping a particular topic area, or to coach for 11+ so know how exams work, or common entrance, or even GCSE/'A' levels for specific topic areas, compared with the Kumon type classes that seem very generic.

[mrz]

I agree qualitystreetrosescelebrations but the OP mentioned Kip Mcgrath. I would also say it is a good idea to talk to the teacher in the way you did because if the problem needs extra support they may be able to suggest the way forward. It can be a knee jerk reaction to hire a tutor when all that is required is a little extra practise for a few minutes each night.

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Oh I agree, mrz. Thing is, attempts to get ds to do a few minutes practise a night are ridiculously painful, turning into hour long battles

I'm hoping having to go somewhere to do the practise wil be easier - certainly getting ds to do his OT homework (mild dyspraxia) is painful, but he loves the actual sessions.

[stoatsrevenge]

I sometimes feel a bit sorry for the children, because some are at it several nights a week. (I am in a grammar school area!)

However, 11+ aside (which is rarely discussed at school - parents keep very coy about that one!), it is very important that ds is being tutored using same methods as school. You need to ensure this is done by liaising with his teacher and his tutor.

FWIW I can't see any improvement at all in chn doing the Sainsbury's scheme. Kumon undoubtedly improves x tables and quick calculation, but doesn't address solving word problems. Don't know about Kip McG.

A private tutor who focuses on specifics is always best, if really necessary at this age.

[Talkinpeace]

I was tutored intensively when I changed schools because I skipped a year

Note to other parents
DONT
IT FERKS YOUR KIDS UP RIGHT TILL UNIVERSITY
I had just turned 15 when my classmates had driving licences

I arrived at secondary academically ready but socially utterly isolated.
Who is the tutoring for?
Their welfare?
or
Your ego?
They are already top of the class so what are you proving?
If they are good at maths, then stretch them sideways...

I've quoted Richard Feynman's parents before and I'll do it again.
From age 11 ish he was brighter than anybody teaching him maths - so his parents made him do art, music, languages, you name it.
He still got his nobel prize but was a balanced individual.
Surely that should be our aim as parents.

[GrimmaTheNome]

Fab quote Talkin (totally off topic but I heard that Feynman learned Spanish specially before a trip to Brazil )


One of DDs primary friends was tutored for 11+ in the summer hols by the teacher of the other yr6 class, so they obviously all aren't against it.

[StealthPolarBear]

Talkin, I skipped a year too and it didn't affect me too mcuh, was always aware I was the youngest but other than that didn't really bother me

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

All I'm trying to do is help ds get up to speed, to boost his confidence.

Today he's meant to be doing spelling homework which consists of writing a sentance for each of ten words.

90 minutes have passed. He's managed FOUR.

And it's driving me fucking nuts.

[notanewmember]

2 of my nieces skipped a year, both my brother and I started a year early, but the only person in the family who is really mad is my sister who did not skip a year. Anyway, op is not about skipping a year.

[Talkinpeace]

Sentence
with an E

are you helping him
are you making up stupid stories
OH is watching Monthy Python with DS and DD at the moment - rich seam

is the work a chore or a means to an end

what is THE MOST ridiculous story you can come up with using three of the words
what about your OH
or siblings
creative writing is nothing if it is not a pleasure

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Just checked and it's TWO. He lied.

He's upstairs right now crying because I'm "horrible and don't help". He rejected all my suggestions as they were "bad English", apparently

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Sentence wasn't one of the spellings

[GrimmaTheNome]

My DD used to make a meal of those ruddy 'spelling sentence' homeworks. In infants we used to concoct ridiculous sentences with as many as possible, but in juniors they wanted one sentence per word (spoilsports). So I'd usually 'help' her by coming up with something preposterous so she had to think of an acceptable alternative.
(I was particularly pleased with 'If at first you don't succeed, give up the idea of a career as constitutional monarch.')

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Grimma, he rejected one of my suggestions this afternoon for being "ridiculous"

He was in a lively mood

Bit better now. He's almost finished. So, 90 minutes for the first two sentences, about 20 for the remaining eight!

[stoatsrevenge]

Grimma 'One of DDs primary friends was tutored for 11+ in the summer hols by the teacher of the other yr6 class, so they obviously all aren't against it.'

What if she'd failed?! Talk about putting herself in a risky situation! And she accepted money for it!
Brave naive reckless poor greedy (delete as appropriate)

[JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube]

Lively? I meant lovely

Lively would have been nicer, tbh

[Talkinpeace]

"What did you do in school today?"
"Not much"
"Anything interesting?"
"Can't remember"
"Was the rhinoceros in numeracy again"
"No mummmy we were doing 3d shapes and rotating them around an axis"
"And literacy?"
"Nothing much"
"Did a helicopter land today?"
"No mummy, our book is about the Normans and the Bayeux tapestry"

the obtuse approach is often that of least resistance

[GrimmaTheNome]

Hurrah!

[GrimmaTheNome]

Someone just posted this on another thread - thought you might appreciate it Jenai!

[mnistooaddictive]

As a teacher I am alwYs helpful if someone tells me they have a tutor suggesting topics etc. I am secondary however and do not feel primary children need tutoring. Let them be children!
I am now tutoring and tell students to tell their teacher if they feel comfortable to do do!