I have a 12yr old DS. Essentially a really good kid with sensible morals. However, he really struggles to resist temptation of any sort and then of course, knowing that whatever he did was wrong, attempts to cover it up (badly!).
Ongoing examples are:
During the last year when he has money on his school canteen account for a hot lunch - he often buys the exact things I tell him (every week!) not to eg. bacon rolls / squash drinks / cakes rather than an actual hot lunch. Despite repeated conversations about why I want him to actually buy a hot lunch, rather than junky snacks he just can't seem to resist the lure of them.
His friends often watch films which myself and DH feel are very unsuitable for their age. Ted being a prime example - and one that we've been explicitly clear about him not being allowed to watch. Checked tablet the other day, and he'd clearly been watching it.
He's recently been given his dad's old ipod just for music, as he'd lost his own mp3 player a while back. He's installed various apps for FB, his emails etc on there without discussing with us first (we'd have said no as he has these on his tablet and the ipod was agreed as solely being for music).
In the last week we went to get something out of his tennis bag and found a pocket stuffed with sweet wrappers / empty crisp bags - again showing that he's secretly buying this stuff, knowing he shouldn't be.
Went to bed the other night, with all tablets etc downstairs as normal. In the morning his wasn't there. When I woke him up he confessed that he'd woken in the night and couldn't get back to sleep and went and got it so that he could "read". There are books on his bedside table! Again, doing something he knows he's not allowed to.
When challenged about any of these behaviours he just shuts down and says he doesn't know either why he does them! I know they're not major in themselves, but I worry about the behaviour itself - the doing of things he knows he shouldn't and the attempts to cover it up - as much as anything else.
DH and I have decided to enforce a complete gadget ban next week, once he's back from the grandparents, as punishment for the behaviour. And we're going to insist of having passwords for his instagram and FB accts (only agreed to him having FB 2 weeks ago as we felt he was pretty trustworthy online!) so that we can check them regularly.
Any other tips or advice though, really would be welcome as I'm really worrying about the trouble he might find himself in when more risky temptations come his way in the coming years.
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Preteens
Lies and deceit from 12yr old DS - what to do?
28 replies
Dotty342kids · 27/08/2015 09:39
OP posts:
tiggytape ·
29/08/2015 10:51
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