I am worried about my youngest DD. She is only just 12 (August baby) and has finished her first year of secondary school. She settled in well and made lots of friends so we had no worries. I found out this week (from my oldest DD who is 22) that youngest DD has a 'boyfriend' who is much older. He goes to the same school and is 15, going into Year 11.
DD2 has told DD1 about this boy, but has made her promise not to tell me as she's worried I would stop her from seeing him. This is the first I've heard of it and I suspect she's been lying about where she's been going. Since she was in Year 5, she's had a wide circle of friends and often spends days at friends' houses or at sleepovers. We never thought anything of it until now but I'm terrified she's been round this boy's house doing things she shouldn't be. We have always trusted her and never felt the need to check. She walks to her friends' houses alone so she could have been anywhere.
It's not normal for a Year 11 boy to be interested in a Year 8 girl, is it? At that age, most boys would view a girl that young as babyish. DD2 doesn't appear particularly grown up either. She's quite petite and slim and looks her age.
DD1 has managed to get into DD2's phone and says that there are lots of messages from this boy in her inbox. Quite intense things about how much she loves him and can't wait to see him again etc. There are photos in her camera folder of herself in underwear but no evidence of sending these to him. I hope she hasn't. DD1 is currently trying to get into her ipad and email account as she is often on this and it's possible we can find out more from that.
At the moment, she doesn't know I know. I haven't told DH yet. I want this boy to leave her alone as the age difference is too big and it's too grown up for her. At that age, he would want more than just a childish relationship. How do I approach this without upsetting her and making it worse?
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Preteens
DD (12) with much older boyfriend
41 replies
eliza1960 · 25/08/2014 20:50
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