11 DD - How often would you insist on showering / bathing?

(61 Posts)
dabdab Mon 12-Nov-12 09:41:55

She is not very sporty / active, and resists like mad!

BackforGood Mon 12-Nov-12 12:37:30

A couple of times a week is fine.
Some people are completely over the top on here.

Arcticwaffle Mon 12-Nov-12 19:43:26

I always had the idea that they should have a daily shower or bath as soon as they started secondary. But actually, my dc seem to be late developers, not full of smelly teen hormones at all yet at 12 and 11.

So I do suggest lots of showers and regular hair washing as a very good idea, but I haven't been enforcing it, I do enforce a shower a couple of times a week which is less than I think they really should be doing. . My dc are not naturally keen on washing or being clean or smart, I'm hoping that will come with teenage changes.

AllThreeWays Mon 12-Nov-12 22:45:50

Durab - I teach in a girls school, it is specifiic to the yr 7's as by yr 8 they have all learnt about deodorant if not from parents then from each other.
Yes they don't always have time for a shower after PE, but most will spray themselves with something equally as potent
I suspect the problem is that the yr 7's are still so young and some have hit puberty and some haven't so not all parents are ready to embrace bra's, deodorant and other hygiene needs just yet. And the girls themselves, bless them are sometimes oblivious.
Hence my comment that habits should start early, from the parents. A good wash every day, if not a shower, and a mild roll on.

picnicbasketcase Mon 12-Nov-12 22:46:43

Every other day minimum but preferably every day.

Gumby Mon 12-Nov-12 22:49:10

Every other day for a shower
Hair wash twice a week

sausagesandwich34 Mon 12-Nov-12 22:55:06

dd has been going through the smelly greasy phase for the last year

I had to be very blunt with her and tell her she stunk with chip pan hair and her friends wouldn't want to sit next to her

very harsh I know but I had spent 3 months trying to get her to shower more frequently and wash her hair properly

she will voluntarily shower and hair wash every 2 days now and if we are out for a special occasion she will shower and wash/straighten her hair

sometimes i will nudge her to have a shower inbetween as depending on what she's been doing, she will moan a little bit that it's not her day for a shower but is in the shower within 10 minutes

I genuinely think they can't smell themselves though

brandnewnickname Mon 12-Nov-12 22:56:30

I agree with BackforGood that to suggest that everyone needs to bath shower every day is OTT. Obviously, people vary and I'm sure it is possible to find examples of people who do need to shower every day and will otherwise smell, but I really don't think that applies to everyone. I think every other day is fine for many people. My 12-year-old son has a bath/shower every other day and is not smelly. (Obviously, we use common sense, eg if he's got really muddy playing rugby he'll have an immediate shower, not wait because he isn't due one that day!) Hair regulates itself to some extent, ie if you wash your hair every day you'll probably find it looks greasy if you miss a day, but if you generally wash it every other day then you'll probably find it will go two days without needing a wash.

I think every other day, unless they are particularly smelly, but twice a week hair washing is probably fine (my dd has her hair tied back/braided most of the time, if it looks as if she hasn't washed it properly I get her to wash it again).

NulliusInBlurba Mon 12-Nov-12 22:59:57

Insisting that an 11 yo showers every single day is absolutely neurotic. Are these the same people who also claim that girls 'have to' shave their legs because body hair is somehow unhygenic? Every 2-3 days (with hair washing) is usually fully sufficient with a good deodorant, but straight after doing any sport is also a good idea (and especially straight after coming back from horse riding!). If I feel either of the DDs smell even slightly of sweat I tell them to have a shower and they do so.

And yes, DH and I shower every morning, but that's as much to wake us up as it is to keep clean.

I've been making DS1 shower daily for the past 2 years (he's now 12). I've issued him with a suitably garish looking anti-perspirant to put in his PE bag now too (after showers he just uses what's in the bathroom --whatever's on offer in the supermarket and smells of as little as I can find--). He says all the boys have deodorant but that none of them actually use it after PE; they just spray it at inappropriate times. The poor teachers...

I think DS1 needs a shower o wake him up in he morning as much as DH and I do. He's reached the hard to force out of bed stage.

He washes his hair every morning but never rinses the shampoo out properly and then pretends to dry it with a hair dryer. I say pretends because the hair dryer runs but his hair doesn't seem to get dryer. hmm

CointreauVersial Mon 12-Nov-12 23:33:24

Currently with DD1 (11) it's 2-3 times a week, but only if I force her, otherwise she is a definite soap-dodger. She is a long way from puberty, although she is starting to need deodorant.

I think she is washing enough for a pre-teen, but I do need to start ramping it up so she gets into the habit of daily washing. The main problem is the queue for the bathroom - DS (13) is the polar opposite of his sister and spends hours in there.

I was just like her when I was 11, but I was at boarding school, so there was no-one to monitor my washing habits. Eventually it was peer pressure that forced me into the bathroom!

zfei Tue 13-Nov-12 11:36:16

I posted the same question at another parenting forum about a 11 years old stepdaughter with long hair should at least shower 3-4 times a day and i was bombarded as unreasonable. So that was me thinking i came from a different culture so the concept doesn't apply here. And the reason i insisted she should shower more often because she always showed up at ours during weekend with greasy and smelly hair and at one point she has nits problem because of the long hair. She still refused to shower at ours claiming the kids organic shampoo is not good for her hair and other Timotei shampoo makes her scalp itch. (She said she only use the shampoo her mom made which is adding some lemon oil into a cheap shampoo from morrisons). She didnt have one since previous weekend and she promised she would shower at her mom's. Then she showed up last weekend with the same greasy hair. We texted the mom and she said she didnt have a shower all week because they just moved into a new house and there are boxes in the shower. I was shocked, She didnt have a shower for 2 weeks. No wonder the smell.....I am speechless

hoodoo12345 Tue 13-Nov-12 17:58:38

Every day, no excuse.

Hulababy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:01:44

DD is 10y and in Y6. She now has a shower most days - just Fridays she sometimes misses out due to organisation stuff and having to get out quickly that morning. If no shower she has a flannel/wet wipes to do the key parts smile

Hulababy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:03:18

DD washes her hair every time she showers - the new shower is in the ceiling so hard not to.

Til bathroom was done last month she shpwered every other day due to logistics.

BellaVita Tue 13-Nov-12 18:04:43

Absolutely every day.

My DD is a real soap dodger but I leave the house before she's up so can't drag her into the shower.
I make sure she has a bath at the weekend.

elah11 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:17:41

Daily, and tbh I think anyone who thinks its acceptable to only wash twice a week is a minger. You probably are convinced you dont smell but sorry to break it to you, you most likely do!

Its not OTT to wash daily, it really isnt, its lazy and slovenly not to. Body parts naturally sweat and smell over a normal day, its perfectly natural but thats why soap was invented, Do your kid a favour and teach them a good hygiene routine, their friends and future partner will thank you;)

When will it 'click' though?
DH showers daily, I'm terrible, I shower twice a day or I'm not happy.
Mornings and then after work, the DCs now this, we set a good example, we tell them ad nausem - why don't they bloody shower??

brandnewnickname Tue 13-Nov-12 21:22:42

Teach your kids a good hygiene routine, absolutely. Suggest that anyone who doesn't bath or shower on a daily basis is "lazy and slovenly", absolutely ridiculous! The notion of showering every day is a very modern phenomenon. After all, it's only in the last few decades that it's become the norm for houses to be built with showers, and up until the 70s there were lots of houses in this country without an indoor bathroom. Human beings vary, and that includes a degree of variation on how long they can go between baths or showers without getting whiffy smile and how quickly their hair will start to look greasy. How you spend your day is obviously also going to have a bearing on things.

dabdab Tue 13-Nov-12 22:21:44

We do want to teach them a good hygiene routine - not a neurotic one. I think it is a bit over the top to say that a child who only washes twice a week is a 'minger' - if I can't smell her when I hug her, or lie next to her in bed to say good night, I really don't think others can.

BackforGood Tue 13-Nov-12 22:37:54

Quite.
Excellent post brandnewnickname.

madbengal Wed 14-Nov-12 05:13:33

DD is daily whether she likes it or not its part of her bedtime routine

Durab Wed 14-Nov-12 09:02:26

Even in the days when it was usual to bath only once a week, in the tin bath in front of the fire, people had an all over wash at the sink every day (according to my dad), which may (or may not) be an adequate substitute for a bath or shower, but people suggesting here that twice a week is sufficient, don't seem to be washing more than hands and face in between times.

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