11 DD - How often would you insist on showering / bathing?

[dabdab]

She is not very sporty / active, and resists like mad!

[bubby64]

I tell my 2 DS (almost 12yrs) to shower every day, but, must admit, they sometimes skip it, especially if I am working, and not there to supervise!
I encorage it because, although they are not really smelly yet, they soon will be, and they need to get into the habit sooner rather than later!. They only wash their hair a couple of times a week, but that is starting to change now, as they have decided they want to "style" their hair, and they cant do this unless it is clean!

[Startail]

2-3x a week just like big sister and her parents.

This obsession with daily showers must be awful for the environment.

It's a total waste of time and money.

I find both my DDs are really good at having a shower when they feel they need one. That seems perfectly right to me.

[throckenholt]

I often feel conscious of just how much a luxury it is when I am having a shower. And how much a waste it is - so much clean water pouring down the plug hole without barely touching anything on the way.

I didn't have that as a child (in the 60s/70s) and am conscious that none of my ancestors had that luxury either. It is interesting to speculate how much longer we will be able to take that luxury for granted in the west. Water is likely to be very much more limited per person in the future if we keep concentrating in big cities in dry locations. Also considering how much energy is required to provide clean water as well.

[dabdab]

Well, I don't think that we are going to come to an ultimate answer to this as everyone feels so differently, but it has been an interesting thread - the upshot of which is that I am going to encourage her to wash more frequently! Elah11, you put forward your argument very nicely, with just the right tone - much more effective than more 'reactive' posts.

[sunmoonstarstoo]

IMO showering every day is a waste of water and only necessary after sport.

When I was young we bathed once a week and washed on the other days, we didn't smell and neither does my daughter.

[brighthair]

I shower every other day, unless I've been at the gym or riding or feel sweaty. If I've just been pottering around the house then I go 36-48hrs without. Wash my hair every 2-3 days but it is insanely dry and curly

[ByTheWay1]

it is only "normal" to bathe so often in countries that have water to waste..... that may have to change in future years.....

increased population in already overcrowded urban areas with less access to fresh water is already causing problems with droughts in the SE - if you have a family of 4 where all are showering EVERY day - sometimes twice - you can see where all the water is going.... especially if you multiply up to however many million live in London (say)... and we are all pouring shameful amounts of fresh, safe to drink water down the drain.

[OhThisIsJustGrape]

Every day! She will be going through puberty soon and you need to instill good personal hygiene well before that happens.

My DC used to resist showers but it was non negotiable. They showered every morning, end of.

I've worked in a secondary school and I could tell every morning which kids hadn't showered in the last day or two - greasy hair and smelly.

Even if your dd doesn't smell now she will do once she begins puberty so it will do her good to have a routine established well before someone points out to her that she really doesn't smell too good.

[sunmoonstarstoo]

My 11 yr old dd showers and washes her hair every other day, she has eczema and her skin flares up if she washes every day. However, she does not smell at all!

[Mrsrobertduvallsaysboo]

Definitely every day.
Hair every couple of days.

[elah11]

The notion of showering every day is a very modern phenomenon. Indeed it is, its called social improvement :). In ye olden days they would also tip their chamber pots out the window into the street below, I dont think anyone would believe that would be better than indoor plumbing. Its a fairly well known fact that people back then fairly whiffed, they didnt notice it because everyone smelled and it was the norm. Its not the norm now tg most people wash daily and wash their clothes regularly. Very few people 'smell' themselves or their family members, our noses become accustomed to it so it smells fine, even good, to us its part of bonding and socialisation. Outsiders wont have that same bond and will smell you differently. We all experience this to a degree when we enter someones house, the house has a distinctive odour (even when spotless) whereas the people living there wont smell that, it will smell neutral to them (unless of course there is a specific strong odour ie nappy etc). So while you may well believe your child has no odour, because to you they wont, others may not feel the same but we are all generally far to polite to say so :)

[Durab]

Even in the days when it was usual to bath only once a week, in the tin bath in front of the fire, people had an all over wash at the sink every day (according to my dad), which may (or may not) be an adequate substitute for a bath or shower, but people suggesting here that twice a week is sufficient, don't seem to be washing more than hands and face in between times.

[madbengal]

DD is daily whether she likes it or not its part of her bedtime routine

[BackforGood]

Quite.
Excellent post brandnewnickname.

[dabdab]

We do want to teach them a good hygiene routine - not a neurotic one. I think it is a bit over the top to say that a child who only washes twice a week is a 'minger' - if I can't smell her when I hug her, or lie next to her in bed to say good night, I really don't think others can.

[brandnewnickname]

Teach your kids a good hygiene routine, absolutely. Suggest that anyone who doesn't bath or shower on a daily basis is "lazy and slovenly", absolutely ridiculous! The notion of showering every day is a very modern phenomenon. After all, it's only in the last few decades that it's become the norm for houses to be built with showers, and up until the 70s there were lots of houses in this country without an indoor bathroom. Human beings vary, and that includes a degree of variation on how long they can go between baths or showers without getting whiffy and how quickly their hair will start to look greasy. How you spend your day is obviously also going to have a bearing on things.

[SauvignonBlanche]

When will it 'click' though?
DH showers daily, I'm terrible, I shower twice a day or I'm not happy.
Mornings and then after work, the DCs now this, we set a good example, we tell them ad nausem - why don't they bloody shower??

[elah11]

Daily, and tbh I think anyone who thinks its acceptable to only wash twice a week is a minger. You probably are convinced you dont smell but sorry to break it to you, you most likely do!

Its not OTT to wash daily, it really isnt, its lazy and slovenly not to. Body parts naturally sweat and smell over a normal day, its perfectly natural but thats why soap was invented, Do your kid a favour and teach them a good hygiene routine, their friends and future partner will thank you;)

[SauvignonBlanche]

My DD is a real soap dodger but I leave the house before she's up so can't drag her into the shower.
I make sure she has a bath at the weekend.

[BellaVita]

Absolutely every day.

[Hulababy]

DD washes her hair every time she showers - the new shower is in the ceiling so hard not to.

Til bathroom was done last month she shpwered every other day due to logistics.

[Hulababy]

DD is 10y and in Y6. She now has a shower most days - just Fridays she sometimes misses out due to organisation stuff and having to get out quickly that morning. If no shower she has a flannel/wet wipes to do the key parts :)

[hoodoo12345]

Every day, no excuse.

[zfei]

I posted the same question at another parenting forum about a 11 years old stepdaughter with long hair should at least shower 3-4 times a day and i was bombarded as unreasonable. So that was me thinking i came from a different culture so the concept doesn't apply here. And the reason i insisted she should shower more often because she always showed up at ours during weekend with greasy and smelly hair and at one point she has nits problem because of the long hair. She still refused to shower at ours claiming the kids organic shampoo is not good for her hair and other Timotei shampoo makes her scalp itch. (She said she only use the shampoo her mom made which is adding some lemon oil into a cheap shampoo from morrisons). She didnt have one since previous weekend and she promised she would shower at her mom's. Then she showed up last weekend with the same greasy hair. We texted the mom and she said she didnt have a shower all week because they just moved into a new house and there are boxes in the shower. I was shocked, She didnt have a shower for 2 weeks. No wonder the smell.....I am speechless

[CointreauVersial]

Currently with DD1 (11) it's 2-3 times a week, but only if I force her, otherwise she is a definite soap-dodger. She is a long way from puberty, although she is starting to need deodorant.

I think she is washing enough for a pre-teen, but I do need to start ramping it up so she gets into the habit of daily washing. The main problem is the queue for the bathroom - DS (13) is the polar opposite of his sister and spends hours in there.

I was just like her when I was 11, but I was at boarding school, so there was no-one to monitor my washing habits. Eventually it was peer pressure that forced me into the bathroom!