DS (11) is in year 6. He is one of 6 boys in his year at school (v small village school). One of the others, T, is having a birthday party soon. As background, my mum looks after my 2 DCs every day after school and T and his sister also go to her house after school until their parents get home (all kids are over age 8, the parents pay my mum for this).
So, T gives DS an invitation to his party today, which is actually an invitation to tea at his house AFTER the party activity, which is laser quest. T says to DS "I'm sorry but I can only have a certain number of people to laser quest so you can't come but to make up for it you can have 2 pieces of cake".
DS realises from classroom chat that all of the other boys in his year group HAVE been invited to the laser quest and he is the only one not invited.
I am livid. This is not the first occasion on which DS has been the only boy excluded from a party, which I think is completely unacceptable in such a small year group. He has generally been socially excluded at school and I have regular contact with the head teacher about it. It makes my heart ache for him because he just wants to be part of the gang, but he isn't.
On this occasion it feels particularly brutal as this child is in my mum's house with DS every day after school. Given that his parents are completely dependent on her for cheap childcare, I wouldn't have thought it would be that much of a stretch for them to just insist to T that DS must be invited.
I am fairly sure that what will happen when my mum conveys her displeasure to these parents is that they will then extend the invitation to DS. I don't know what to do then. Gut feel says that as T stated quite clearly to DS that he was not invited to the activity, DS should not go where he isn't welcome just because the parents later realise that they have shot themselves in the foot somewhat. On the other hand, DS is so desperate to be included that even though he recognises the truth of the situation, he would probably seize the chance anyway.
What would you do in this situation?
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My child is the only child not invited to this party
61 replies
Ginda · 18/10/2012 20:00
OP posts:
OldBagWantsNewBag ·
18/10/2012 20:58
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visualarts ·
18/10/2012 21:56
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