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Pregnancy

Binge drank before i knew i was pregnant (i thought i was late) - should i abort?

80 replies

rainbowserpent · 30/11/2008 23:15

(by the way i'm not religious, i'm a rationalist) Binge drank in early pregnancy - i think i should have a termination?
Panic. I binge drank when i didn't know i was 26 days pregant, i should have guessed as i kept having funny dreams about being pregnant... i was about 4 and a half weeks i guess, the most vital stage for brain and facial feature development. i maybe had 4 shots of bacardi (it could have been 5 as i don't know how big the measure my boyfriend poured me was) in about an hour! On a full stomach but i felt quite eurphoric and definitly intoxicated and detached for quite a few hours. I got a hang over and felt nauseous and dizzy well into the early hours. I'm so awfully sorry that this has happened. My boyfriend wants me to have a termination and i think i have to agree, we are both phd students and i'm afraid i couldn't bare to have a retarded child - he has no alcohol tolerance although i can drink like a fish so it is genetically possibly vulnerable. (it was unplanned by the way) after we read this:
"If a woman binge drinks during such a critical stage, significant harm may be inflicted on the developing fetal brain. The resulting deficits can range from gross structural abnormalities, such as small brain size and significantly altered brain circuitry. Children exposed to even a single binge drinking episode (blood alcohol levels over 0.07 or 80mg) show behavioural difficulties such as in adhd (poor attention and impulse control), have on average 7 points lower iq than controls (sometimes up to 24 points) and perform far less well on verbal and numeric reasoning tests at age 7 and 14. Before age of 7 and 14 their learning disabilites are not evident, but their peers soon surpass them.
I guess i just want to know i'm doing the right thing in having a termination, i want to know peoples stories.

I felt pretty drunk, and i felt nausea afterward (my symptoms lasted from 8.30 until 2.30 in the morning), my blood alcohol level must have been at least 0.09, enough to cause the death of a third of the fetal brain cells - which cannot regenerate. Thus i do think i'm fairly screwed. My mother drank like a fish with me but a single binge episode is universally believed to MUCH more harmful than moderate or light drinking (2 a day) over a few hours, or over a week. 4/5 drinks in an hour? That's got to be majorly damaging. My timing was just, awful. And the worst thing is, i never drink usually.

There is an oxford study that says that the effects of occasional binge drinking isn't in evidence, but they say 'may' and they say IS a trend towards neurodevelopment disorders, and there was no study conducted of when the binge occured - in early or later pregnancy. Another study also shows lower scores on IQ tests in general. Its not that i'm an intellect snob, i just can't believe i've done this! My whole life is one long line of self-inflicted nightmares...sigh.

A single binge drinking at the wrong time could = perfect baby being now not so perfect.

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rainbowserpent · 30/11/2008 23:16

i mean, i've worked out, from day 14, i'd be about 26 days from conception now? 5 weeks? The binge occured 4 days ago...and i've been crying ever since.

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rainbowserpent · 30/11/2008 23:16

i took the test on friday afternoon

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Aitch · 30/11/2008 23:18

it'll be your baby though, so perfect for you. tbh i do think you're googling yourself into a frenzy... most babies are conceived with a drink or six, i'd warrant. my friend downed a bottle of whisky after her 'period' came and she was totally depressed. it was implantation bleeding and her wee boy is as bright as a button.

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 30/11/2008 23:19

I binge drank and a lot worse during my first trimester as I did not know I was pg untill gone three months (long story)

I am blessed with a beautifull, bright little girl. She will be five next week. She is slightly behind in her very high achieving school but its not a case of she can't do it more that I dont have as much time as I would like to help her with it at home.

Are you trying to justify aborting for different reasons to yourself? I guess what you need to ask yourself is do you really want a baby?

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Aitch · 30/11/2008 23:19

do you always, you know, over-think things?

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festivedollyx · 30/11/2008 23:20

Oh rainbowserpent i cant believe you are still looking for reasons to terminate your baby! ffs

It is very unlikely that your bingedrink episode has affected your baby especially if you were so early on!

I think its time to seek some proffetional help, And if you think you are going to abort please do not wait for this poor little being to grow any more.

Sorry but you really need to deal with this.

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festivedollyx · 30/11/2008 23:21

Why did you binge drink when you knew you where pg?

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BecauseImWorthIt · 30/11/2008 23:21

Huge apologies if you're real/telling the truth, but this is the third thread you have started with various different stories about why should or shouldn't have an abortion.

Either you're a determined troll or you have some serious issues that you need to have help with.

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SlartyBartFast · 30/11/2008 23:21

i think you have to drink an awful lot for foetal alcohol syndrome, and you only did it once?
i should imagine it will be fine

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IdrisTheDragon · 30/11/2008 23:21

I drank a lot with both DS and DD before I knew I was pregnant. Throwing up drinking with DS and Christmas drinking with DD.

They are both completely fine.

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rainbowserpent · 30/11/2008 23:22

Yes i know, i'm going to go and see a counsellor, i have a presentation to give tomorrow and to be honest, i haven't even slept probably in days. I am a worrier by nature.

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SlartyBartFast · 30/11/2008 23:22

so do you drink like a fish or never drink

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dizzydixies · 30/11/2008 23:22

all of mine were pickled before I realised they were there

all fine and now have 3 lovely girls now

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llareggub · 30/11/2008 23:23

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I seem to remember another thread from a phd student who had a phd student from a boyfriend who did not want her to keep the baby. Are you the same person?

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mrsdisorganised · 30/11/2008 23:23

Don't stress so much! I was in that situation (pregnant, had a negative result assumed i was'late' due to stress)then found out I was expecting dd4, who is lovely and seems absolutely perfect!!

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TeenyTinyTorya · 30/11/2008 23:23

You say you only took your test on Friday, and that you drank four days ago.

However, you posted on Tuesday and Wednesday to say that you were pregnant and considering abortion.

Doesn't add up, I'm afraid. Either you are trolling, or you have serious issues that you need to deal with asap.

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rainbowserpent · 30/11/2008 23:23

sorry, the binge drinking was before i knew i was pregnant, and i guess i have fixated on it because of my abortion dilemma (and the fact that the first time i never did anything like that!)

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llareggub · 30/11/2008 23:24

OK, it seems you might be.

Is there a counselling service at the university? I think you need to talk to them.

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Aitch · 30/11/2008 23:24

oh dear. either way, you've got some serious stuff to deal with rainbow. hope you do get some counselling and that it helps you out.

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BecauseImWorthIt · 30/11/2008 23:24

Stop pretending.

What's the real story here?

I think you are a troll.

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Cryptoprocta · 30/11/2008 23:24

I can imagine that if you go on to have this baby, every little delay in any developmental milestone (which happens to the best of them), you'll always blame this episode.

Have those studies adjusted for maternal background, class, etc? Recently there were studies showing that moderate drinking in pregnancy produced "brighter" babies, probably down to parental 'class'. Could it be that the type of parent who binge drinks also exposes the foetus to other damaging factors?

I've read about foetal alcohol syndrome, and prolonged drinking can be a cause. One child had a deformed head from being slumped in the womb in one position, drunk, for pretty much the whole pregnancy.

Is this really only reason why you want to have a termination? Honestly?

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Aitch · 30/11/2008 23:25

forget the drinking. just forget it.

do you want the baby?

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Aitch · 30/11/2008 23:26

cryptoprocta, i remember reading in the Mail about a woman who'd adopted a child with FAS, and she mentioned about his face being flattened by being 'slumped' against the womb. i'm sure that is complete bollocks.

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Cryptoprocta · 30/11/2008 23:29

Do you think? Not that I usually believe anything in the Mail. I think they were saying it was different from the "usual" FAS face. I did a lot of googling myself when pregnant, convinced that I'd be one of the unlucky ones that had a drop and had such a child. But as I said, maybe it's a combination of factors that they haven't yet discovered.

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HangingbaublesofBethlehem · 30/11/2008 23:29

if you want a termination just do it and don't try to make excuses - and by the way your use of the term 'retarded' and your disgust at the possibility of having such a baby is deeply offensive to many people here, not least those who have children with SN.

I'd like to shout troll because if not, then you are a very childish and insensitive woman.

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