Family responses - anyone beat this?

[Moorhen]

My horrible bitter grandmother (imagine Catherine Tate's Nan without the charm and tact) said, when I told her of my pregnancy: "OH NO! What about your job? How will you pay your mortgage?"
Did explain that I'm 31 with a good job (and very flexible employer), married to a man with a good job and that we would cope with this planned and much-wanted baby.
Then she's since moaned on to my mum that I'll never cope with a pram in my flat, and she doesn't approve of childcare. This from the least maternal woman on Earth!
And I now appear to be in disgrace, I think because I'm meant to be the Career Girl Grandchild. She's actually said to my sister (25) that maybe SHE should look after my baby instead. Which is kind of offensive to both of us...
It's actually so awful it's funny, and I suppose I shouldn't have expected any better from her really. She was similar with all three of my mum's announcements. And suggested she have an abortion with number three (my sister).
Anyone else got a similar or better tale of horror?

[Budababe]

She sounds delightful! At least you know it is not just you if she made similar comments to your mother.

[sazjaz]

what a nice grandmother u have ( i think not)

[berolina]

My parwnts, in an email, after my first mc:

We did wonder how you would cope with a baby.

[no-comment emoticon]

[princesscc]

in-laws told my BIL that they weren't that excited he and wife were pg, coz they already had other grandchildren! THEN when they had it and I called in-laws to tell them I had visited XXX, they said who's XXX. I have never told BIL this, feel it might cause a bit of a rift in the family.

[Catz]

When my parents rang my gran to tell her that they were pregant with me (first grandchild, my dad is an only child) she said 'what with that b*** 3-piece suite' and put the phone down!!

I was dreading telling her that we were expecting (first great-grandchild) as was prepared for gross insults. Managed to get away with 'was that a mistake then, you never know these days.' Kicked DH who started to explain that contraceptives are the most effective that they have ever been and that mistakes were far more likely when she was our age (pretty sure dad was a mistake... she's never got over her jealousy of her childless sister who regularly changes her 3-piece suite...!)

[Saturn74]

Moorhen, your grandmother sounds like an unkind and selfish woman.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
My MIL has the tact of a sledgehammer and the emotional warmth of a glacier.
I have developed selective hearing when in her company!

[myturn]

My delightful SIL (who we haven't seen for about 10 years) sent us a letter when she heard that we were to have a fourth. It advised us of our irresponsibility including the lines 'How do you think you can afford a fourth sprog' 'Haven't you heard of family planning' etc etc etc

The use of the word 'sprog' did it for me - wrote a stinking letter back and we haven't spoken since. dd4 is now 6...

[MrsBadger]

I got 'Oh well, a summer baby...' form my mum
(she's a reception teacher and always moans about the August-birthday children who arrive at school when they're only just 4)

[wotzsaname]

So sorry for you. my MIL did look abit shocked as we were married at the time (are now) shes Catholic, but we got married a year after the birth. And she was OK by then.

At the time, when I told her she looked like Id slapped her in the face, not just given her so great news. She had to go off the the loo. Came back 10 minutes later!

Congratulations Moorhen, great news.

[wotzsaname]

were married
was
weren't marriedat the time- opps

[kittypants]

from my now dh's dad-i assume theyll be a wedding,the second he found out-before congratulations.
from my gp who confirmed pregnancy with 3rd,i think its time we spoke about contraception.
berolina ,thats awful!

[motherinferior]

My friend's mother apparently said (a) 'I always knew you were the one who'd have a black baby' (friend's partner was African) (b) 'what did the doctor say about, you know, no ring' - this was in Kilburn in 1997, FFS, hardly likely to be something the doc would notice.

[funkimummy]

My partner and I were engaged to be married. We fell pregnant with DS1 during planning stages. Never moved wedding date, and got married when DS1 was 4 months old.

On telling a colleague from work that we were pregnant she replied 'So is He going to stand by you then?) I have to add we were living together at the time also!!

[harpsichordcarrier]

good grief! some of these are just
berolina

my friend's father said "but you can't be pregnant! you're not married!"
he's a sweet guy actually, and was extremely embarrassed when he got over the shock

[funkimummy]

Berolina, when I told my Dad he got up and walked out the room. He didn't talk to me for a week after that!

[Leda]

My mil said Oh no! (in a strong Lancastrian accent). It made me laugh, but my dh still feels hurt by it.

[ernest]

most come from dh's nan, I got "don't you mind dear?" (when she found out I had a 2nd ds.
Then "oh well, never mind " when I had ds3.
"shame you didn't have a girl, wouldn't you have preferred one"
"Oh well, it's you that's got to look after them"
"bloody hell, another? You do have to feed and clothe them you know"
When I told my bf was expecting no. 2 she just said "but you've already got a baby" in an indignant tone.

[bumperlicious]

My grandmother wanted me aborted when my unwed 20 year old college kid parents got knocked up with me. And she was a Catholic! Apparently she was worried what her friends would say so my dad made sure he put a huge announcement in the local paper (more to spite his mother than joy at my arrival I think!).

[WestCountryLass]

When I told my Dad and my SM we were expecting they asked us how far along and I was only just pregnant and they said "so you might lose it then?" Then they asked us what names we liked and ripped the piss out of every one, which we hadn't really given any thought to at that stage and spent all night suggesting completely ridiculous names. We were at a restaurant and I walked out in the end.

Not the most terrible of things for them to say but coupled with the fact I lost my first at 23 weeks, it was completely inappropriate.

[twoplusone]

With my first I was just 20 not married and been with thew father for 3 years.. and my mum said.."you better be joking".. which I understood as she hated the bloke..
with DS I was 27 just got married.. (to a different bloke) and I got an "oh Dear"!!! Then a congratulations..

I was dreading telling her about number three but straight away she said..."thats great news.. congratulations!!"

[PeachyClair]

My MIL responded to news of DS1 with the immortal words 'clever you' (as in, clever you trapping my son- yep love, except it was a planned baby, and lets face it tere weren't queues waiting for him were there? Much as I love him, the fact he was a 27 yr old virgin might say something about his shyness???)

My Mum asked if I was going to keep it, straught out. I know her well enough to now the THIKS that was a supportive reply- but it wasn't really. Still don't think she has said congrats 3 kids and 7 years later LOL!

The thing was, we were enagged, living together and in our mid twenties (lates for DH), hardly a dissaster LOL!

your gran just sounds one of natures bitter people- sad but theres a lot out there. All you can do is laugh I think. And ask her how many hours a week she can contribute to your childcare

[Aloha]

My mum said absolutely nothing at all -then changed the subject to talking about her work!
She later said it was because it was a 'shock'. I was 38 and married. Oh, and this was after my 12 week scan, when everyone at work had already guessed because I was so huge!

She herself was pregnant, unplanned, at 24 and so I think she thought of getting pregnant as a bad thing, but still....

[Creena]

I'm sure I've said this about a zillion times already but I'll say it again - it never fails to shock me just how insensitive and rude people think they can be towards pregnant women! Family members too, FGS!

With me, it's more about what is not said rather than what is said. My MIL refuses to acknowledge or comment on my (planned and third) pregnancy. She displays absolutely no interest whatsoever - we've tried inviting her round for dinner and stuff, giving her copies of the scan photos etc but she just doesn't want to know. I'm now thinking that perhaps it's best that she doesn't open her mouth!

DH's grandmother is a lot like your grandmother, Moorhen - she always has something nasty or snide to say about everything. When DS was born and she came to visit, she turned to DH and said "It must be a relief that he looks so much like you - you won't have to have any paternity tests done now." I was absolutely livid!

[Mumpbump]

When I told my mum that I was pg again after two m/c, she said she thought it would be better to wait for a bit. Wasn't sure quite how I was meant to wait without having a termination... I can't believe that she meant that, but what a thoughtless thing to say...

[frazzledazzle]

Oh my God Creena your mil is just like mine.
I'm on my 3rd pregnancy (planned) and all my mother in law said was there you go,whatever that means.
She never asks how things are and when I took my scan picture to show inlaws she didn't look.
Me and dh have been together for 14years and are very happy.I don't know what her problem is!