Terrible 12 week scan results - cant stop crying.

[misty0]

I think i'm facing a termination. I'm 12+6. '12' week scan yesterday evening gave me a 1:3 risk of downs or another abnormality. Hospital is sposed to ring today to give me a CVS appt. asap.

I CANNOT pull myself together for more than 5 mins at a time - crying and crying. Got a family to sort out. Daughters birthday today. Meal out later ect. My partner is being lovely - hes gone to work this morning tho'. He needed to go, it's Ok.

I cant cope......never fallen apart like this b4. Usually very strong.

Any words of advice?

Oh Misty, am so sorry. I'm sorry I have no advice, although others will be along shortly. I just didn't want your post to go unanswered. ((((hugs))))

xx

Misty that is terrible! I'm really sorry and hope somebofy can give you some advice soon!
x

Really sorry to hear that. Very tough. Take it 5 mns at a time.
I have no advice either. Take care x

Oh misty it is very difficult to hear news like that but please do remember that the scan is only a screening test. So it is very sensitive but not very specific. That means that it picks up a risk but it is NOT a diagnosis. Also a 1/3 chance is high but it is a 33% chance of Down's but a 66% chance of normal.

The CVS will give a definitive diagnosis and then you'll know for sure what the situation is. You also don't have to terminate. Perhaps you should chat to some parent's with children with Down's on here and talk to your DP about how you would feel and what you would like to do in the event that the CVS is positive.

I am so sorry, what a terrible time after the elation of seeing your little one on the screen for the first time.
How long do you have to wait till the hospital ring?
Dont beat yourself up about being upset, its natural, very natural. Obviously very hard as its your DD's birthday, but you dont know everything yet untill the hospital ring again.

Im sorry we cant all be of more help, just know that we are all thinking of you and sending you support and hugs.

As mummyberryjuice says, that's still a 66% chance of there being no problem.

Oh you poor, poor love. I don't know what to say other than to echo ElsieR's advice to take it five minutes at a time, and to try cling to a little bit of hope.

Hope the hospital calls soon and you can get through today for your DD's sake.

Hugs.

Thank you everyone xxxx

greenzebra i'm hoping the hos. will ring me today at some point - the clinic where i had the scan yesterday sent a fax to the hos. saying i needed an appt. for cvs ASAP as i'm 13 weeks tmorow (consultants dont like doing cvs after 13 weeks) but that fax went off at 5.30. Nobody there at that time aparently.

I've got such a thumping headache from all the crying! Thinking about taking tablets for it - then thinking 'shouldn't realy' - then thinking 'what does it matter now??' - makes me cry agian!

Bloody hell ........

Paracetamol is fine misty, I hope the hospital get in touch today. I'm so sorry, hugs x

So does that mean you need to have the CVS today?

Misty, we had a 1 in 2 probability and had a clear cvs and cardiac scans and clear subsequent anomaly scans. It's just a probability based on nuchal and your bloods.

I have been there so know exactly what you are going through and its horrendous. The best advice I can give is to have the cvs (if you are comfortable to go through with it) and don't make any decisions until you get the results.

It's really hard not to go to pieces when it seems like there is no hope - we both fell apart and I walked around like a zombie until we got the results back and we couldn't even think about the fact I was pregnant or talk about it.

Try and keep yourself busy and try not to go through all of the permutations of what you might do until you have the cvs results - easier said than done I know.

So sorry you're going through this Misty. As others have said, take it a few mins at a time

Of course you are upset, and its perfectly normal to be crying, you must feel very confused right now

I hope the hospital get back to you quickly and you get the CVS done asap

For the headache, try a cold flannel on the forehead and neck

misty - eveeryone has given some really good advice, but I'd also add that you could always call the hosp yourself to chase up the fax. If you can at least book the appt for the CVS, you won't be worrying about the call for the rest of the day. I hope things work out OK for you, and from what bubandbump has said, it could be fine.

Thanks again everyone -

I dont think i'll get the cvs today. Or even tmrow. The clinic said there is one consultant at the hos who will do cvs up to 14 weeks. His clinic isnt till next tuesday tho'. I think i'll have gone out of my mind by then tho'. Maybe someone else will step in as it's so close to 13 weeks????

Thank you so much for the positive thoughts of 1:3. The doc. who did the scan yesterday was very kind - but very clear this did not look good. Nuchal measurements were through the roof. Nasal bone not good. Bloods werent too bad.

I know theres a tiny bit of hope - but i feel like i should face the worst, y'know?

Oh Misty, how awful for you.

BUT, when I was on my previous thread on MN when I was PG with DD, I got a 1:35 risk so I was gutted aswell, but another of the girls had a 1:3 like you. She got the all clear.

Please remember that it is just a risk factor at this stage, as others have said. I also got the all clear. I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

I remember crying buckets aswell and even getting gestational diabetes at 28 weeks, I still knew that I could handle anything that they through at me after the Nuchal scan results. You just have to get through the next few days.

xxx

threw

misty, could you afford to have the CVS done privately, to put your mind at rest?

Misty, there is also someone else on the antenatal tests and choices thread with a 1 in 3 probability from nt who is having a cvs today.

I found a huge amount of support on mumsnet and it helped having the opportunity to talk to others going through the same thing at the same time. The waiting for results is one of the hardest things to go through.

crossed posts there imnotaslimjim. I will try ringing in a bit i think. Thank you xx

I agree with thederkin. I would ring the hospital myself to chase up the CVS. Would it be done under the EPU?

Hi Misty, I have my 12 week scan (at 13 weeks) next week. Thinking back to earlier threads, there should be more info about choices and individual's experiences over on the screening forums www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices so it might be worth looking over there, I'm sure there are a lot of folk there who can give you the reassurance and knowledge you need.

I hate any sort of uncertainty and I think that might be the worst bit for you right now.

Will be thinking of you (hugs). How old is your DD, is she old enough to understand what's happening? xx

Hi Misty, I second what KateeHasABunInHerOven says, the antenatal tests and choices forum would be worth looking at, as would be calling ARC; who will be able to talk you through the situation. I found myself in a similar situation and have been through the CVS, waiting, uncertainty so feel for you. There is nothing really that anyone can say to make it better, but do try to push for the CVS asap, as in my experience waiting is just horrible. Thinking about you at this horrible time. x

sorry mummyberry whats EPU?

My DD is 16 today!

dont know wether its better or worse that the kids are well old enough to understand. my other girls are 18 and 13. They were all swallowing back the tears last night....poor dp....

So much misery after 13 weeks of joy. sigh

I'm feeling a little stonger having been on here for the last hour. Im so grateful for all your answers.

gosh - whats ARC? (sorry)

Early pregnancy unit