Pooing in Pants

[Lyns262]

We have been potty training now for about 4 weeks, my little girl is 2.7 years. She is excellent with wees, had very few accidents, and really pleased with herself about using the potty/toilet.

BUT... she consistenly poos in her pants.. generally 2x a day. She does actually know when she is doing them, and actually hides from me when we are at home.

I really don't want to go back to nappies, but really am getting frustrated with rinsing out pants 4 weeks on! Any advice? We have tried bribery, but it does not seem to make any difference!

[Mishee]

My dd was the same - despite what Gina says, pooing control took much longer, but one days she just got it. Just don't make a fuss. Perhaps imitate her pooing face and get her to copy so she knows other signs that she needs a poo, other than what's going on at her bottom end & lots of praise for getting it in the potty. I can't remember how much longer it took than the weeing, but it was a significant amount of time. Good luck.

[Downdog]

Bribery worked for us - one Hersey's chocolate kiss for every poo in potty followed by hand washing. We did stop all other treats - so a treat was ONLY given for the poo/hand washing not for anything else.

Are you making a big song and dance about any result in the potty? clapping, cheering, singing etc - we found OTT praise really played a great part in our recent potty training. We tell everyone when DD is in earshot too - "DD is a big girl now and goes poo & wee in the potty - HOORAY" etc & everyone has been brilliant with equally lavish responses.

Is she regular with the poo? If so you could try sitting her down around the time & wait it out & then make a huge fuss & celebrate & give bribe.

Keep at it - don't give up. You'll get there.

[stinkypinky]

There are some lovely books on this subject - we used 'Whats in your nappy?', but there are others.

My DD will be 4 in June and still has the odd accident (pee and poo). Poos are very 'emotional' for little ones too, and sometimes can hurt.

It is still early days, so take heart. You are both doing really well!

[mummychicken]

My DS was potty trained (wee) at 1.11. Only took 4 days - very proud!
BUT until yesterday he had never pooed in the potty or loo (he's now 2.6)When he did it there were big cheers, chocolate buttons and I would have taken a photo if I'd had my camera . He had always waited until he had his night time nappy on.

I was emailed a copy of Poo goes home to Pooland from someone on MN and that seems to have helped a little. He can't wait til his next poo to wave it home to poo land!

I am happy to forward it to you

[sam456]

My son was the same. Happy to wee in potty within days of starting potty training but poos were a different matter.
Lyns262 he also hid when we were at home.
I began by moving him into the toilet whenever he hid for a poo. Within a few weeks he would run to the toilet to hide for a poo, but was still doing them in his pants. If I tried to take his pants off, or go anywhere near him he would scream hysterically at me to go away.
After several months (and advice from HV to 'leave him, he'll get it in his own good time') I decided to take action.
I removed his pants and trousers whenever we were at home so he was running around naked from waist down. The first time he asked for pants and I said no I couldn't find any he got a bit wound up, moved the potty from bathroom into living room and back again and then did a poo in his potty. He is still a bit hit and miss when we are out, but he is slowly getting there. Also, just when I think we have it 100% he may do one in his pants, I then go back to removing pants for a day or so at home and he goes back to doing it on potty.
Oh, he also requires complete privacy!! Door closed, no idea where he gets that from?!

[Lyns262]

Thanks for your advice. I am definately going to give Sam456 advice a go.. to be fair we would do anything at the mo!

I think the hardest bit is that she is at nursery 3 days a week, and I can appreciate they don't really want to be dealing with poo in pants when she is there.

We have had a couple of successes, just few and far between.. we so far have tried stickers, buttons, icecream, presents.. She just does not seem that phased by it!

Anyway, we will keep going, and hide the pull up nappies from my husband who really wants to use them again!

[Lyns262]

Hi mummychicken

An e-mail copy of the poo in pooland book that you recommended would be great. I tried contacting you, but think your settings don't allow it.

Thanks!

[mummychicken]

A very kind MN has posted a link on the Poo goes home thread. I've copied it here.

www.scribd.com/doc/28743654/Poo-Goes-to-Pooland-1-1

Unfortunately there was poo in this mornings nappy , but we've done it once - so there is hope!

[Handonheart]

My 2.6 yr old has just sorted day and night with toilet training but like you - can't seem to control poo in pants... first couple of days were no prob and then she went off the idea. Have tried the OTT performances, fave chocs but she ain't having it (even pretended to cry ... actually nearly did as everything else ok, anyway she didn't buy it!) - she hides when poos and cant see how to move on. Maybe leave for now? Will read advice you get!

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

IMO part of the hiding when pooing is a survival tactic from when we were living in caves; one is extremely vulnerable, you can't run away from danger. So hiding to poo is v normal, and will lessen in time.

Good luck

[FickleFairy]

In the nicest possible way your posts have really cheered me up today!

I started to potty train my son when he was 2rys 6months around October time last year, it was a total nightmare and three months in there was no improvement with either wee's or poo's with the poo situation being exactly the same as you've mentioned above, him hiding and doing it in his pants. He would go on potty if I suggested it and would usually wee but it was always more luck than judgment and we all found it so incredibly stressful. After over 3 months there was no improvement at all so I decided to leave it a little while. (DH was also going in for an operation which would have him bed bound for around 12 weeks).

DH is 3 next month. So on Sunday last week, full of dread, I thought I would try again. A week on we have wee's pretty much cracked. (Only 2 accidents in last 3 days!!) However, we still have real poo issues, he did one on Friday cause he literally couldn't hold it in any longer and I had stalked him literally for 3 hours as I knew it was coming so managed to get him on potty and despite all my whooping and cheering and sweets being given to him the look of horror on his face when he saw what he had produced was obvious.

Since Friday and that episode we have had no poo at all, not even in night time nappy. I am worried about him having long term issues with it as I have read some right horror stories on here.

So I am in for the rest of the day and keep hinting that if we get a poo on the potty he will get sweeties (which he is not allowed usually) but no matter what I say nothing is happening yet.

I'm soooo glad it's not just me. Potty training is hell and no matter what pressure my mother puts me under with out next child I will be in no rush to do it before they hit 3. My DS is proof what a difference just a few months can make.

best of luck to all of you and any further advice on poo encouragement will be very much appreciated

[Lyns262]

Well, we have been in "poo boot camp" this weekend.. and thought we had cracked it.. until yesterday when we were out with friends and back to doing it in pants..

If she is at home and has no pants or nappy to catch her poo, she is more than happy to use the potty.. but if not she will just do it in her pants. We have been heaping praise on her and saying she can do all her favourite things in exchange for poos in the potty.. but not making the slightest bit of difference.

It feels like more of a control thing than anything else with her.. she definately knows when she needs to go, she just choses to do it in her pants!

[anonMum2]

I'm probably not the best person to give advice as I've got loads of problems myself with potty training at the moment, but one thing DS is not afraid of (for now anyway) is actually poo-ing in the toilet and flushing it.

We got him used to seeing poo being chucked from his pull-up into the toilet very early on, just before we knew we were going to potty train him. In the beginning when he poo-ed in pants, I would just drop the poo into the toilet and say "Look, poo goes in the potty". We also showed him some videos of older kids saying "Bye-bye Poo-poo" whilst flushing and he now does the same with great enthusiasm.

[Nicolaboats]

This might sound awful and you will know if your kids are like this, but we've just cracked potty training with my son (almost 3) by punishing him for 'accidents'! I know that sounds terrible, but we knew that he was aware of what he was doing, and could control it (because he would be fine when there were lots of rewards available and then started to hide when they dwindled a bit). I got angry with him and dealt with it as a behaviour problem. Time out didn't work so we listed all the things that made him a big boy (there was lots of big boy talk!) and different from his brother and then took them away one by one for each poo accident (he was weeing fine). He could earn them back with success. One day he lost his bike, had to sit in a booster seat and had to use baby cutlery and crockery. He was devestated and earned them all back the next day. This was 2 weeks ago and we've had almost no problems since.

[hollyhobbie]

Hi Lyns262, I've just logged on to post the exact same question, so I'm wondering if you had had any further success?

DS just turned 3, so we're using the "you're a big boy now" argument. It's our 3rd attempt at PT with him: we've given up before because of poos in pants, but this time we think there's no going back. He's totally cracked wees and in fact his night time nappies are drier and drier every morning, but the poos... (at least DD (when she was being PTed) had the grace to wait until her bedtime nappy before she did a poo. I hated it at the time, but now I see how good it was )

[Lyns262]

I am afraid Hollyhobbie, we are not much further on! She will now poo at home, when she has no pants on and has nothing to catch it in, but still has accidents at nursery and when we are out.

I am beginning to think it is a control thing with my little girl. She did tell me the other day that she thought it was funny!!!! I don't want to go down the route of telling her off, but am close to it as nothing else has worked!

We can't go back now.. have tried and she just was hysterical.. will just keep going until eventually she gives in and poos in her potty consistently!

[Dominique07]

Poo goes home was interesting. DS promptly wanted to try the toilet. Then said "no toilet, potty" and then... did a wee. Still good but still waiting for him to use if for "number twos".

[hollyhobbie]

I saw that "Poo goes home" thing. DS has always chosen the toilet over the potty, so it would make more sense to him, I think.

"it's just a phase..." repeat ad infinitum!

[Dominique07]

Oh! I think the poo goes home has hit home...
DS sat on potty (whilst I was out of the room) and when I came back in the room had the potty: OVER his head!!!
Closely examining something!!!
I went to see what it was and saw a teeny tiny poo!!! Tried to be enthusiastic and get it away from his head both at the same time. Yay!

[hollyhobbie]

Yay!

[Pigmella]

My son is almost 4. Had numerous attempts at potty/toilet training before with no success. However this Easter I had to sort it. First day me very patient and wee and poo in pants all day, refused to sit on toilet unless had pants and trousers on (not quite the point!). Day two same. Then I lost all patience at lunchtime. Took away new Easter bunny toy, refused chocolate mousse after lunch. He then sat properly on toilet. No wee, but a start. An hour later he did his first wee on toilet, that was a week ago. We've only had one wee accident since, and we're both pleased and proud. However he won't poo on toilet, will wee, then get off and poo in pants! Hasn't asked for nappy, happy to do in pants! He has always stood to poo, never had a problem with constipation. Now he is holding it in (by sitting down and trying not to move) for as long as possible. Had two poo accidents today. How do I get him to poo on toilet? Help!

[FickleFairy]

Pigmella, wanted to post to let you know I am in exactly the same situation so you're not on your own. I am actually browsing here looking for help too. I am 4 weeks in and have cracked wee's but DS will only poo when he is in hiding and standing up and on at least three occasions in last four weeks he has held it in for 3/4 days and he has ALWAYS gone daily, sometimes twice a day, so I know it is potty related.

I found the following info on Supernanny which I am trying my best to do.

Keep in touch on this thread and I will too.

Good Luck

[Pigmella]

How old DS? My son four early May. Would actually rather he poo in pants as feel nappy step back. I haven't even suggested potty (hidden it) as feel too old and school in 5 months. Only nappies at night now, though he started waking really early as obviously wants wee (though night nappy wet). Am dreading constipation as have heard loads horror stories about that. Have found making him walk makes him have a poo, even if was at Sainsburys and outside library today. Luckily not hiding poo. Tells me immediately (so far!). Have read the Pooland story to him, he now saying his wee is off to Weeland, so fingers crossed tomorrow poo goes down toilet too pooland! K x

[FickleFairy]

He is just 3.

This is our 2nd attempt at potty training. We tried around September time last year but 3 months in we were no further forward with wee's let alone poo's so we went back to nappies and tried again 4 weeks ago. He grasped the wee's straight away.

I have also ready him the Pooland book but he still doesn't seem to get it.

I have just made sure I am really, really calm and let him do it in his pants as on the odd occasion I have got cross or made him go on potty when he was mid flow he has then held it for days.

[Pigmella]

Gosh, you're doing better than we did, a year ahead. Daniel just could or would not do it before, but me very firm and strong this time. He so used to standing (usually holding on to back of chair for poo), must be weird to be made to sit down to poo. Have tried cuddling him and rubbing back whilst on (and to keep him on) toilet, he ready to rush off before wee stopped flowing. Am hoping soon! Wouldn't worry too much, DS young, unless you under pressure from playschool or similar would wait. I know from past when I got angry or didn't get why he didn't get it, just made situation worse. They do what they want when they want. I NEVER thought Daniel would use toilet at all! Suppose halfway there. You've loads of time, don't compare to any of your friends with girls, they're way quicker! Who knows why. K x