'By 3 your child should be dry during the day'

[tortoisesarefab]

This was in a leaflet given to me by my hv. What is everyone else's experiences? My just turned 3 year old still has a fair few accidents and will wet himself if not reminded. I thought that was just normal for his age but now I am doubting myself. I don't really know what I can do about it though, he has been in underpants for 6 months now and is dry overnight.

[TarkaTheOtter]

My dd is nearly 3.2 and still has accidents at least weekly. In fact it's only this week she's started telling me she needs to go rather than me cajoling reminding her to go (or accidents if I forget). She's been out of nappies since last Summer

[ragged]

Your child hasn't read the leaflet, ignore it & just keen gently encouraging.

[StayGoldPonyBoy]

Give your DC the leaflet, he likely hasn't read it

DD is nearly 3 and isn't consistently dry at night, and needs reminding during the day, especially when playing. She didn't get the memo either, I reckon, and I'm expecting some recession soon as DC2 is almost here.

Don't worry too much and keep reminding, as long as he's mostly dry before he goes to school he'll be okay. Accidents are different than not being toilet trained at all.

[YoSaffBridge]

Just another thing designed to worry you. So incredibly supportive.

[tortoisesarefab]

Thanks everyone. I wasn't concerned about his development at all and then I get this leaflet to read as his '3 year check' with an accompanying letter that says to contact them if you have any concerns. It just made me think that Maybe he is Behind on his toilet training. I will just carry on as I am and assume he will get there in his own time

[6LittleOnes]

I don't think any of mine have been completely dry during the day by the time they turned 3. Generally by 3 and a half they are almost dry with the very odd accident, but not before then

[Piratejones]

It's rubbish. most kids have accidents at 3, if not still in nappies.

[BackforGood]

Well yes, that is "the norm". You will get a load of replies saying "my dc is 3 and hasn't started yet" but there are thousands of dc out there who are comfortably dry by 2 and a 1/2.
It's like all developmental milestones - some will reach them before others.
I meet dc all the time who have very, very impoverished language at their 3rd birthday, but because I know lots of dc like that, doesn't mean it's a 'wrong expectation' to say that dc should have a wide vocab / be using sentence / asking questions / etc. at 3. It's the same thing and not a popular view on MN.

[Pico2]

Mine was, barring perhaps an accident a month, but plenty of her peers have accidents still at 4.

[HSMMaCM]

That's the average child and who wants their child to be average

[sanfairyanne]

sounds about right. they all/mostly have the odd accident though. its an average though.

[Sootgremlin]

My ds was in nappies at 3. Tried at 2 and a half, tried at 3, tried at 3 and 4 months and he cracked it very quickly.

He was very distressed before that so we backed off, they all do it in their own time.

I have always taken the view that it doesn't matter what other kids are doing to a large extent, just focus on their individual development and give them the opportunity to see what they're capable of without pushing.

[Marioswife]

sounds a bit early.

[Mintyy]

Yes, lots of accidents for 3 year olds!

[tortoisesarefab]

I suppose it's the wording that he 'should be dry' kind of implies there is a problem if he isn't or that I have some kind of control over it! I get that lots of children will be dry but I suppose now I am reassured that it's not really a problem that he isn't.

[gamerwidow]

Your ds sounds perfectly normal it's not that uncommon for the children in dd's reception class to have the odd accident and no one bats an eyelid.

[tobysmum77]

I think that yes they probably should be. My dd is 3.3 and a complete nightmare however! She will go for weeks without having any accidents then they start again . You aren't alone but in the absence of anything else else just have a , keep smiling and hope it passes is my approach.

[tobysmum77]

But don't worry about going out, bizarrely mine is actually worst at home.

[Florrieboo]

I would imagine that if a child is toilet trained that means that they don't really need reminding and don't have accidents, other people take toilet trained to mean other things obviously.

My daughter is 3.2 and not even close to toilet trained yet her language is superior to other 3 year olds that we know. It is swings and roundabouts.

[WrappedInABlankie]

Haven't RTFT my Ds was dry after his 2nd birthday around 2.2 and has been dry since dry at night too but my HV said that wasn't common?

[ReallyTired]

The majority of children are capable of learning how to use the toilet by three years old unless they have some kind do developmental delay. However a lot of three year olds will have the occasional accident if they are distracted or tired. By toilet trained I mean a child will use the toilet with out prompting even if there is the occasional mistake.

A lot of parents and day care providers toilet train far too late in the hope of avoiding accidents. They are far too quick to put a child back into nappies if they make a mistake. It usually takes at least a week to toilet train a child and accidents are only to be expected. It is vital not be angry when a child has an accident.

[YolandiFuckinVisser]

DS was still in nappies during the day til 3.5years. He wore nappies (pull ups) at night til he was 7. DD decided she was wearing pants at 2, dry at night simultaneously. I think they sort it out when they're ready, "should be" doesn't really come into it. Don't worry too much!

[ReallyTired]

Had human biology really changed that much in 30 to 40 years. Potty training had got later and later.

[tobysmum77]

You see really tired Dd has been out of nappies since 2.8, I have never used pull ups to go out or put her back in nappies but she's still a nightmare. My other one was easy, and reliably dry by 2.5. A lot of it is their personality. Dd2 is rather stubborn and doesnt care if she wets herself, so she does. Dd1 cried if she wet herself she hated it. Thankfully she is much fussier with number 2s .

[PrincessPilolevuofTONGA]

Probably not RealkyTired but whereas our parents generation had the time to hover around popping them into the potty every 20 minutes and catching most of the wees, more people nowadays don't have that kind of lifestyle and see the benefit in waiting a while then being done and dusted in a few days.

In my experience most kids get there at more or less the same age. The only difference with those who started traing earlier was that they had months and months of their time being dominated by their child's toileting needs.