So how do you go from nothing on to pants?

[Sootgremlin]

My ds is 3.4 and has been training (again...) since Tues. It's been 3 awful days in pants but he's had a good day today with no bottoms. He has got to where he can go on the potty for wees and poos when he is wearing nothing round the house, with only one or two wee accidents, usually if I'm busy with his sister. Mostly I still have to prompt him for wees, but he has gone of his own accord as well.

We manage little local outings in pants, but timed between wees.

This is all brilliant. But. As soon as he is in pants/trousers, he has constant accidents. He doesn't seem to recognise the signals. He won't tell me he needs to go, he is most successful when he can take himself off to do it in the bathroom, but he can't manage his clothes by himself yet, so I have no idea how to get to next stage. Also he insists on potty and not toilet with seat which is fine at home.

Entirely unsure how to manage longer outings like this, or when to venture them. There's no rush, but I just don't know what I'm doing really.

Will he just 'get it'? How do you make the transition?

[Sootgremlin]

Pants bump!

[MaccaPaccaismyNemesis]

Have you tried training pants? DS is potty training at the mo and they are working really well.

[Sootgremlin]

No, thanks, I'll have a look. Just wonder if they'll be too much like nappies and he won't progress? He never tells me he needs to go when he's in clothes.

[EvilHerbivore]

We had this with DS1, essentially we just had to ride it out - sorry, I know thats probably not what you want to hear!
Lots and lots! of pairs of pants and just changing them when he did have an accident, putting him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so and massive praise and a sticker on his chart when he did wee in the toilet, took about a week iirc and very quick trips out with a bag full of spare clothes if we did need to go anywhere!

[Sootgremlin]

Ah, thanks Evilherbivore, that's almost reassuring in a funny way! Just guess it might be a case of bite the bullet and go for it then. I can do laundry if that's what it takes, was worried about setting him back, but he is happy to wear clothes so perhaps that's the way forward.

We had a trip out to the supermarket and he did actually come to the loos and try, which is a huge step, but he didn't go and then had an accident as soon as we came home! Did a wee in the potty before his bath though when asked, so mainly positive.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

May I ask what is he wearing that he can't manage himself yet? My little one is a girl but I stick to leggings (and jeggings) precisely because she can't do buttons. Are there boy equivalent? I assume he's wearing jeans with buttons which can be tricky? Joggers might be easier?

[EvilHerbivore]

One with us it wasn't that he couldn't take his trousers down in time, just that the sheer fact he was wearing trousers somehow made him forget he should be going to the bathroom

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

Ah I see. Now I understand what you mean by he can't managed it. Good luck with potty training!

[LimBeeHoon]

I had the same issue, and it really was just a matter of waiting it out I'm afraid.

[Sootgremlin]

It's a bit of both - he wears loose elasticated waist jersey shorts or joggers, usually without pants to make it easier, but he has only been managing to take them down himself in the last month or so. I think he has a bit of trouble with coordination, he has to take them completely off as well before sitting down, he has never sat on toilet or potty with them just round his ankles, he gets tangled, falls and panics. It's one of the reasons we decided he wasn't ready last time.

The main thing is like Evilherbivore says, it's more a case of he just doesn't seem to know he's going, or be able to tell me and if I've had to prompt him and am there with him he can't ever produce anything, even if he obviously needs to. He is very articulate and has great speech and vocabulary, so it's not that.

For eg, before his bath tonight I asked him to go, and he said no he didn't need to, then he tried but couldn't, so I said you can take the potty and go in the other room if you prefer, so he said ok and took the potty downstairs and went! Then called me. I can't give him that sort of privacy in a public cubicle!

He had no clothes on at that point. Earlier, in shorts he was hopping up and down and telling me he didn't need to go, then the accident seemed to take him by surprise. With nothing on, hardly any accidents.

[capsium]

We had Long t-shirt and pants around get house and stayed in / around the house for the majority if time to get used to going on potty.

After this trainer pants and potty trips at regular intervals. As long as could go at regular intervals this worked.

[Sootgremlin]

Thanks Capsium and limbee. I guess I was a bit naively expecting it to maybe be obvious and fall into place at some point, but I guess it is where the training comes in! Just got to keep taking him and encouraging him to take his clothes down until he gets confident.

He asked for a nappy this morning, but managed to get him to go in the potty. He's now in trousers because he was cold so will see how that goes. W

He does seem to be regularly dry overnight I've noticed, wonder whether to try training pants over night, the first wee is usually the easiest to catch, but we always have a battle over his night nappy! Going to order some.

[dancemom]

With dd I would regularly remind her by saying, remember no nappy, while rubbing her bum or gently twanging her waistband of her pants or commenting on her pants colour or something - just a verbal and physical reminder. It was tedious but it did seem to cement in her mind that she had on pants rather than a nappy.

[Sootgremlin]

Oh and thanks onelittletoddle.

That is a good idea dancemom, I will try that. Didn't really think of it like that, thought maybe he couldn't get the sensation, but it might be he forgets he's not wearing a nappy. I think he gets annoyed at me asking him if he needs to wee, this might be less intrusive but have more of an effect.

[confusedofengland]

Watching this thread with interest as DS 3.4 is almost exactly the same. Pretty much perfect at home with nothing on bottom, takes himself off to potty for wee & poo. Will also quite often do wee out & about when prompted & keeps pull-up dry for up to 3 hours. Not too bad in pants, but has maybe 50% accidents. Today has been wearing trousers no pants around house, as want to prepare him for preschool starting next Thursday & he only managed 2 wees in potty all day, one when I told him to take off trousers & sit while programme was on, other when he had no bottoms on for some reason

Have tried reminding him he has no nappy on but doesn't work, he has speech & language delay anyway. So frustrated, feels like we're right back at the start

[Sootgremlin]

Hard isn't it, confused? How are things for you now?

I have exactly the same situation with preschool, we've come too far to go back now but at the same time I don't know how well he'll manage.

We've had a couple of good days, I've put him in trousers, no pants, in between potty visits, but I am having to anticipate when he needs to go and take him there. So far this has been successful, hoping if we carry it on for a few more days he'll get the idea himself. Going to venture out in the next day or so and see how that goes. Worried about how he'll cope in a strange environment without me, that he'll lose all his good progress.

[confusedofengland]

He's done pretty well today, actually. All the time we've been at home (from 11am till 4.30pm), he's been in pants & shorts & he's mostly made it to the potty, albeit with me prompting him. He had one poo accident & one wee which started in the trousers but finished on the potty, so I'm quite pleased with the overall progress

I certainly know what you mean about worrying how they'll cope in a strange environment without you, but I guess we'll both just have to bite the bullet & send a big bag of spares!

[Sootgremlin]

Update: he's been in normal clothes for the last week, had no accidents for a few days, though I have had to still prompt him to go he will quite happily come and sit on the potty and can sort of go 'on demand'.

We have been out and about a bit, taking the potty with us to use in cubicles. He's done a couple of wees like this and had no problems waiting until we'd got to the loos. Did first wee on toilet with child seat on Monday and has done a few more since, so another little milestone. He's better at getting his clothes on and off but has to take them completely off before sitting down, but no real problem I guess.

SO. Today I left his clothes on and thought I wouldn't remind him to see how that was. Wet trousers. Overall I'm really pleased, but worried as he still won't say anything! Especially as he starts playgroup this week.

I guess just keep reminding him until he gets there. Much more positive than last week though!

[WowserBowser]

This is what i love about MN. I will be
going through a certain stage with ds and some one always posts about it!

Sounds like he's doing really well op.

Ds keeps taking his bottoms off at home. Will now persevere with putting them back on rather than leaving him bottomless.

[Sootgremlin]

Yes, I know what you mean!

Haven't had quite the heart to post about 'running and pooing' yet, but hoping someone does

[confusedofengland]

Well, DS2 had his first full day in pants today & it went OK

Yesterday he had a pull-up on for going to the supermarket, but this stayed dry the whole time (got to love the Huggies with the picture that disappears when wet) & saved his wee for a trip to the toilet as soon as we got to the supermarket. Then in pants & trousers all day from 11.30am, including a walk to the village & out to take his brother to swimming lessons & he was dry all the time. Was also dry all day Sunday & Monday, although wearing pull-ups to go out - again these stayed dry.

Today he started at his new preschool (every afternoon) & I very apprehensively sent him in pants & trousers. He stayed dry all day, including doing DS1's school run as well as his own. Just now, however, he said about doing a poo on the potty but he was too late & it went in his pants . It may be down to a big day all round, or it may just be that poos are harder to get right. Whatever the case, I am pretty pleased with his progress, I had expected a few pairs of wet pants today tbh.

[Sootgremlin]

That good, confused, sounds like he's doing really well. Did he actually go at preschool, or did he just not need to go?

We had preschool this morning I stayed for settling. They only had loos and seats, he was reluctant to go in, but had a little try and nothing. I was a bit anxious but he was then fine until we got home. On getting home he had a cry and seemed overwhelmed and asked for a nappy for the first time in a couple of weeks.

I gave him a hug and he had something to eat and then went on the potty. Think it might have freaked him out a bit at preschool as they didn't have any potties, so now think he might just not go at preschool! Maybe actually if he's not having accidents I need to just relax about it. Going to really work on getting him to go on the toilet at home though.

[ChocolateWombat]

I think you need to stick with pants and clothes. Once you have started successfully, never return to pull ups, trainer pants etc, except at nap time.

I think you will need to give reminders for a long time. Insisting on regular trips to the loo is important, even when the child strongly resists which is common. I would be going at least every 45 mins for quite some time and reminding a couple of times an hour. I think you are expecting them to take responsibility for knowing when to go too quickly. It is one thing to go across the room to the potty, when at home and naked from the waist down, and quite another when clothed and out and about with lots of distractions.

And you need to expect accidents for quite some time. Spare pants and trousers are needed as an essential on any outing, for months or possibly a year.

[Sootgremlin]

Well, I think he is past the every 45 minutes stage, it would just distress him about it if I badgered him that often. He only needs to go every 2-3 hours, I can usually tell now, and he will go on the potty then.

But - how do you 'insist' on it if they strongly reject it? I've got to where he will sit on a potty but gets very upset if I take him to a toilet with seat, I can bribe him to sit but can't force him to wee, and this often seems counterproductive.

You are right though that it is too soon to expect him to take responsibility for telling me - I think that was what I was unsure of at the start, once having made a start, how to progress it. I think it is just a long process!

[confusedofengland]

Soot yes apparently he went twice in the 2 hrs 45 mins he was there

It sounds like your ds is getting there too, just keep trying him on the toilet at home & he'll get used to it. Also, maybe ask preschool if they could have a potty there or if you can take yours perhaps?