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ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
December 2011 - they'll soon be one, put away the <haddocks> and bring out the bunting!(997 Posts)
I loved kate's thread name but thought we needed a birthday theme for this one. We'll soon have 6 weeks of birthdays to celebrate!
Relate? Seems he doesn't see there's a problem, and an impartial mediator can often make people see the side of an argument that they're avoiding
Dh just called he is at his parents and his sisters 3yr old is there throwing up and has been ill all week absolutely spitting furious they have put her anywhere near figgyboy have ordered him home and will have to just look after him himself this afternoon. People!!!!!
Aethel Fingers crossed for house stuff.
Jiggle 2nd what LMF said. maybe try relate.
Figgy That is pants. Some people just don't have a clue do they! Hope Figgyboy doesn't catch it.
I'm feel low, rock bottom and struggling with everything DH just thinks I'm in A bad mood and I should snap out of it as he does try to help. He doesn't understand i do most of the parenting, I work and do all the running around, alongside bad knees, hips etc. all he does is get up, get himself sorted and go to work. once he's home he sorts himself out with a bath and will make dinner but doesn't really help out with the girls and tbh I'm exhausted - I can't do it all and his answer is well you have to as he can't as his job brings the most money in and if he didn't work then we couldn't pay the mortgage. sometimes feel like a single parent again. LMF you are one brilliant lady.
Haddocks to ur dh DSM it seems we all have had a rough year and deserve a big old pat on the back
<winds up the haddock-firing trebuchet for DSM>
I have done five loads of washing today (load six is going around as I type) as I can FINALLY get up to date without stressing about hiding the washing when we have viewings!! Fortunately the wind dried a lot of it and the rain is only coming in this evening.
Tonight's task is an ENORMOUS to-do list....
dsm - ditto - I do all the parenting apart from some playing with the kids.I do all night and 6 out of 7 morning get ups. I also do all the house stuff, shopping, washing and 80% + of the cooking. I also have to organise everything - stuff for DS for school, Freya's birthday party, christmas etc with little/usually no input from DH and I work 2 days a week. The only time DH will step in with the kids is when I am at breaking point (ie after Freya has screamed on and off for an hour) and then it is not in a supportive way but in a critical "you are such a crap parent" kind of way.
The sad thing is that this is the antithesis of how I imagined my family life to be. I thought things would be shared more equally and discussed more.
I really don't think Relate would be a goer for us. DH struggles to communicate anything emotional and would refuse to go. he also does not recognise the need to go as, as far as he is concerned, I am just moaning and just a horrible person who needs to grow up and take my responsibilities as a mother seriously (his words)
Jiggle Thinking of you <sending stay strong hugs>
DH just told me to snap out of it normally he is supportive when my hips, knees & back are playing up but he just doesn't understand
Oh heavens, sorry for the crap news on family stuff. That's a horrible thing for him to say jiggle, untrue and it can't be doing your confidence any good. Sounds like you're worn down from the lack of support and him undermining you. What do you think would be best for the DCs, and for you?
And I hope your DH snaps out of it DSM.
How were the test results MissRee, how's your OH?
Work here crap- feeling very low and unappreciated, and so pissed off that yet again we're moving location which will mean a 2.5 hour commute in total as opposed to 1.5 hrs, and an extra £100 p/m in travel. Post re-organisation I'm giving it six months (whilst gently looking at jobs). At that point if nothing's come up I'll either really start looking or have another baby.
Think I'll have a good cry in bed and then look forward to the weekend.
Oh, and happy birthday for yesterday Eva
<unloads the haddock rocket-launcher for jiggle>
Sorry to hear about the work stress northern, do what keeps you going in the short term and then
run like the wind weigh up your longer term options.
Ran out of evening again (whoops), the top item on my to-do list is now Make A Proper To-Do list. Gotta get the baby/DD stuff ready for tomorrow's long work day and then it's bedtime.
Oh dear DSM and jiggle, hope they mum up soon
Northern sorry to hear that. Maybe start looking straight away, who knows, a fabulous opportunity nearer home might be lurking around the corner...
Stayed up late again and got my final chapter finished and sent off! Will have to revise I'm sure but still, I've a draft of all my chapters now so I can begin to see the murky light at the end of the tunnel...
Jiggle How are things today?
I need to
know find out how much Movicol I can give Sky to help her have a clear out? She has been going but only in little bits bless her. X
DS seems to be in a grumpy mood today...I think he is just tired. He is having a little nap now, so I thought I would try to catch up on the thread!
I've just finished my last KIT days at work which I really enjoyed and DS had a lovely time at the CM's For once I felt NO GUILT Officially back to work at the end of January!
Northern I don't know how you are managing with your current commute, let alone adding another hour to it I would definitely have a look around at other jobs and see what your options are. Luckily it isnt't happening immediately so you have a bit of time to think.
Aethel You are a brave lady making a to do list and putting it in writing
I am too scared to write one
Figgy that is a bit off! Fingers crossed Figgyboy stays nice and healthy!
I hope certain husbands buck their ideas up soon! This has been a bloody tough year, so lets hope we can all finish it on a high!
Oi belated congratulations!
Massive hugs to all of those suffering from work and husband related stress, and to those who require them.
We went bed and sofa shopping today. Our new bed is this one and we've chosen this sofa. I know we've spent quite a bit but this is probably the only time we'll be in the position to buy them without needing credit, our existing sofa is my parents 15yo one, and we're on our 3rd bed in 8 years as we can only normally afford really cheap ones! It's all we're buying from the flat sale, the rest will go on home improvements. The only trouble now is going from a double to king size bed we need all new bed linen within 2-4 weeks. Can anyone recommend anywhere that does good but not stupidly expensive sheets?
In other news Eva finally has her first tooth, I'm
massive showing already, and feeling the baby move, I'm only 13 weeks!
Seven the bed and sofa look lovely, and you don't need to justify buying them missus We got rid of lots of grim furniture when we moved a year ago as we had everything second hand and none of it matched, it's lovely picking something new for yourself! We got our sheets and pillowcases from M&S, they seemed to have a wide range of prices, and the duvet cover and pillowcase set from Next as we love their home ranges.
Eek, that must be but exciting to feel the baby moving already! I definitely want another, but I'm scared I won't be able to cope so we are going to see how things are next year. At least you've got all the equipment and clothes already
I like the idea of having a list to make a to-do list aethel! Mine is next to me now, couldn't function without it. Will see how much we can cross off over the weekend Does it appear to be all systems go on the house
hopefully not jinxing you?
So glad you had no guilt Cheung; I know we can't help it, but it does no-one any good. DS is still waking at 5.25 am, but then fell asleep whilst being changed at home this morning at half 8, and then fell asleep in the pram when DP collected me at 5.45 pm! Just bloody sleep later child, and nap a bit more whilst you're at it!
I agree, go for it and enjoy it seven; it's a lovely treat when you finally get a bit of furniture you want. BHS is rather naff I know, but I've got my last loads of bedding from there and it's really reasonable. Yay on the baby too!
One option we're looking at is actually moving closer to my work. We were thinking that next year we'd either move or get the garden here done (it's a totally paved death trap, with borders), just so we have somewhere for DS to play, so we could kill two birds with one stone and just move towns. Thankfully it wouldn't be a massive commute for DP, as the journey's quite quick by car.
Watch this space...
Thanks cheung and northern.
I tried my own sofa link and I just got the home screen of the mobile site. If anyone else only MNs from their phone its the Langley sofa.
I dread to think how long my to-do list would be, I daren't write one!
Evening - thanks for your thoughts ladies. Have a full on work day on Fridays, then home to do tea and baths, spend 40 mins getting freya to go to sleep, Dh put DS to bed and then retired to bed himself so no progress here today!
I am ok. I am quite strong willed and confident that I am not a crap parent (though I do have my moments I know) and I have very supportive friends. I think it is best for the DCs if we stay together and from a practical and financial point of view it is better for me too. but from an emotional/love point of view I do have to think is this as good as it gets? And that is sad.
Ohh - love new furniture! And new bed linen etc - have fun chosing seven and exciting about the movements .
northern what a bugger about work - I would really struggle with that. Good luck looking for something else/moving ideas.
mopsy well done on finishing the chapter - I admire your will power.
aethel - my to do list is just getting longer and the motivation lower!
Have had a busy couple of weeks, combined with me and the DC's all being ill, so I've lurking but not managing to post.
Ooh, it's all excitement chez Seven Belated happy birthday to Eva btw
Northern an alternative plan could be to get yourself pg ASAP, go off on maternity leave as soon as is allowable, then use your mat leave to interview for new jobs
Congrats to aethel on the house offer. I hope it all works out for you. I imagine the relief at not having to constantly tidy is huge.
<haddocks> to those who need them, and I hope poorly babes are now on the mend.
I took the DC's for their first ever visit to Father Christmas today. Poor DD was terrified, but DS just gave Santa his big beaming smile. Despite DD's fear, we had a nice afternoon out at the Milton Keynes Christmas display, then came home and I snuggled up with DD watching The Snowman whilst DS had a nap. Perfect
kate I was in mk on Tuesday. Seb was mesmerised by the lights and the magic frog ponds.
Also lurking, the house move continues (we own too much stuff), and assuming the preemployment checks go ok I will shortly be a postman. I'm gonna be soooo skinny...
We have loads of Christmas traditions will get the laptop out over the weekend...
We have two more teeth, both on the bottom left, one quite far back. A molar? No wonder he's been a grumpy bigger...
It's all go for you Kat isn't it? Congrats on the job, hope the move continues smoothly. I think the display this year is the best it's been for ages (although nothing will top the wind in the willows one they did when I was a kid!). We had a go on the little train too, but are saving the carousel for another day. It's all so lovely and sparkly, I'm now feeling very festive
Ooh kat, didn't know you were moving, how far along the process are you?
Sorry you've all been poorly Kate, welcome back!
Hey northern, come over to the dark side, I'm told it's nice living near the M4....
seven is there a TK maxx or a Wilkinsons near you? wilcos is good for basics and you can get vairy nice cut-price duvet sets at TK for posh.
Quiet weekend planned for us. That to-do list isn't finished yet!!
<Rummages for decaf and some festive Snowman Mr Kipling Fondant Fancies...>
Aethel our move does not include purchasing, when we moved back down here we had tenants so rented a house. Tenants have moved out 6 months earlier than expected. Which is a bummer (£650pm rent on top of our mortgage without our rental income!). But our landlord is fine about, it is back on the market to let, we've moved out and will continue to pay rent until new tenants found or our tenancy ends (April!!)
It has meant we've been able to paint our house (originally was DH's doer upper which we never managed to sell) and clean etc before we moved in. We have still managed to have a plasterer here today, as the skylight on the top landing was leaking so my lovely Mum has lent us the money to get it replaced before the bad weather REALLY sets in. They literally fitted it yesterday about 3 hours before the rain/gale force winds hit us again.
There are probably still 2 or 3 car loads of stuff at teh rented house, but we've had the luxury of moving stuff over and unpacking it as we go rather than the usual mayhem of shuffling boxes for weeks.
seven our "nice" bedding is from habitat and/or Debenhams. Dunelm Mill do decent enough sets reasonably cheap, or BHS.
Quite jealous of you seven I've caught the bug and quite jealous of your new bumpiness dh will not consider a 2nd dc and to be honest even tho we earn good money and have a 3bedroom home I don't think we can afford/have space for another also not sure an willing to make the enhanced sacrifice that a 2nd child would inevitably dictate.
Good points to day dh came to watch DS swimming today and when DS noticed he was there he kept shouting dada, he also keeps letting go of whatever he's holding and pitting his arms up with a big smile as he's do impressed with himself that he can stand by himself
Bad point - sciatica is back very back
Hah, a second vote for BHS, I'm not too fuddy-duddy!
Kat, I would dread to think what it might be like if we move, DP is such a hoarder
of total and utter shite. I think it would be nervous breakdown territory!
I would love to come over to the dark side aethel, 'cept that part of the need to move would be for me to walk/get public transport to work, so it would probably take me about 1.5 days to arrive .
I have been looking at houses... I found one that I luuuurved, some acceptable, all would need a bit more on the mortgage but we could afford it.
Hope you get some rest mopsy, can't wait for you to be DrMopsy!
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