Love spells, do they work? Can someone advise please?

(51 Posts)
littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 15:16:36

My marriage is failing. My H does not do talking so we cannot resolve our issues. I think he does not care enough for me so he does not feel like making an effort. I would like to return that love spark in him, so he wishes enough to make that effort, and then hopefully we can reconcile.
It sound a bit ancient but I believe that positive mind flow can change things, so perhaps it could work.
Any advice or recommendations? Please be serious, I don’t need a lecture…

If it did work, would you really be happy knowing your dh is only with you because you essentially forced him to be?

Pootles2010 Tue 23-Apr-13 15:25:12

Firstly I don't believe in anything woo, so I would say not. Secondly, even if they did, they would be highly morally questionable.

Have you considered counselling, even if just for yourself?

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 15:25:50

I think of the love spell as breaking the ice. If it can open up communication because the other person is interested enough to care and listen, then perhaps we can build a bond which would keep us together. If not, then not.

If you need an ice breaker, Relate would be a better bet.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:01:34

There is no use of counseling if I am the only one to use it. I have put my 100% effort into saving the marriage and my H does not move a finger. For others, he does, but not for me. I want his feelings for me back… otherwise there is nothing to work on.

ZZZenagain Tue 23-Apr-13 16:04:58

I don't see how love spells can work really. Who or what is influencing the mind/feelings of your dh if the spell works?

I don't know maybe you can write an affirmation. Would that help you? - Something like "my marriage is flourishing, I feel cherished and loved and I cherish and love my dh". Place it somewhere you feel is positive and load it with positive energy every day. Don't see the harm in that.

What is the problem? Why doesn't he care (about you or about staying together)?

seeker Tue 23-Apr-13 16:06:42

Could you tell us a bit more about what's going on? Maybe someone can give you some advice....

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:12:42

It has many reasons why it does not work, however it looks to me that if both make effort to resolve it, we could.

I do believe in the power of positive mind, but I do have problem of being too pessimistic and I may cause a very negative energy flow. As soon as our problems start, I start thinking very negatively, i.e. thinking “oh it is again, it will probably end up in divorce etc.” I even go into relationship section in MN and energize myself reading about problems of others. This is a very bad thing to do. I struggle keeping my mind positive. I think love spell would help – I think it works as a massive flow of a positive thought. I may be wrong though. This is a new thing to me. I have written on the paper saying that my husband loves me, we are becoming closer and closer and he cares for me, but I struggle to visualize that.

meditrina Tue 23-Apr-13 16:15:05

I think you're right about positive thinking, and right that it needs to come from him too. And right tHT a relationship can be restored.

But there isn't an external agency, like a spell, that will come in and magically do this for you. It's good old communication that needs to be worked on.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:16:24

Basically H is very distant and shows no interest in family life. He lives his own “single” life and I live my own family life with our kids. He lives under our roof but only cares for himself. There is no other woman (so far). I remember the moments when he was engaged and committed, we were happy.

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:17:52

Hi

A spell you can use and simple and none binding is;

Take an onion
Seven red pins
On a Sunday night stick the first pin in the onion and say “It is not this onion i prick but your heart i wish to pluck, (add name) think of me day and night untill you tell me you love me“ place onion on windowstill and repeat each night for a week. On the 8th day plant the onion with pins still in and say “(add name) i love you and you love me let our love and respect for eacj other grown“.

As you are married i think its ok to use a love spell as the vows have already been said and that in itself is a spell. Good luck.

Relate, date night, taking up a new hobby together and spend posative time together is also good ideas.

ZZZenagain Tue 23-Apr-13 16:19:49

well you can do that, if it helps you but maybe you should read a bit about relationships and see if anything applies. Hard to say if it can be fixed, we don't know what is wrong and how far you have grown apart.

If it isn't going to work out, you know deep down, best to face it and prepare for the future, huh?

Good luck. Maybe someone can recommend a book that helped them. Just to get started. You know I think the direct course helps most. Working on yourself means you have to figure out first where you are going wrong, working on someone else is difficult, you have to work on how you treat that person and how you react. That's I think where you have to get cracking on it.

Neighbour of mine believes in things like positive energy and so on and she "energises" particular parts of her house with minerals etc. Told me she uses a book called soemthing like that "change your stuff, change your life" (can't remember it exactly, different parts of your home correspond to different parts of your life is the basic idea). I had a great big rubbish bin where the relationship corner of my home was I recall. She had a dying plant in hers. I don't know if this kind of thing helps but if you believe in it, maybe it makes you more positive and that influences people around you?

Have you been a bit depressed?

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:21:08

Self love;

Meditate on a pink warm glow around you and say each morning “I have love before me, love behind me, to the left and right of me, i give and recieve love freely. I am loved“.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:11

AnAirOfHope thank you I will do! I only need to wait for Sunday and get 7 red pins somewhere.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 16:26:45

Love..and thoughts of love have been proved to change the physical appearance of water.... here so I think that positive thoughts are VERY useful.

I am woo though.

MostlyLovingLurchers Tue 23-Apr-13 16:27:05

I used to be very into spellworking. At the time i would have said it worked. The truth is that it only worked because it gave me the confidence to go after what i wanted (to ask out that bloke i fancied, to perform well in a job interview etc). Even if magic did work then it would not be very ethical to manipulate someone else, even if your intentions are good.

I remember once writing a spell for someone who was going through a difficult time in his marriage - he looked at all the stuff he would have to do and asked if i could just do it for him. I pointed out that if he couldn't put in this little bit of effort he wasn't likely to put much effort into the relationship, and therein lay the problem. There is no quick fix.

If your H will not talk try writing him a letter and giving it to him to read and be honest that your marriage is failing and how low you feel. If he still won't communicate, then i think you need to accept that you cannot save your relationship on your own if he isn't prepared to put in any effort.

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:38:20

Hobbycraft might have them or wh smiths the kind of pin you use on a corkboard/message board.

Personally i would do something to shock him like a new hair do in bright red or get a babysitter and tickets to a concert as a surprise or a weekend in paris.

Could he be depressed? Lavander tea is a great mood lifter.

Can you flirt with him? Does he know you love him? Have you told him in detail what you want from him and listen and believe the answer.

If you have children, have a family board game night or themed meal night like pirate night where everyone dresses up and have fish and chips or mexican night and wear mexican hats. Show him family life is fun and he is apart of it.

But dont be used or adused. There needs to be fair rules and he needs to respect you.

MostlyLovingLurchers Tue 23-Apr-13 16:47:56

Sorry Neomaxi - i am not entirely without woo, but the sensitive water thing has been well and truly debunked.

I agree with the comments re working on yourself btw - that is the place to direct your energies.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:50:12

I have tried so many times to involve him but he is just not interested and I am tired to be the load bearing all the time. I want to be loved and cares for, too, but I dont want to seek that love outside my marriage.

Ultimately you cannot control his mood/thoughts, and nor should you want to. You need to talk and explain that you're relationship can't work if he doesn't put in any effort, and be prepared to move on if nothing changes.

specialsubject Tue 23-Apr-13 18:02:03

...or you could have some self-respect, stop being an unpaid char, childminder and (possibly) provider of sexual services, and start making your own life.

if he doesn't love or like you any more, and doesn't have the balls to do something, it is up to you.

this is not a rehearsal. I think even the 'woo' people would agree with that.

NotTreadingGrapes Wed 24-Apr-13 06:48:24

I am wooest of woo, and I have had spells done on my behalf.

But, I think you need to decide what you really want first. Maybe post in relationships and truly get to the bottom of it all.

Love spells do work - never heard of the onion one! I suspect the effect is more on the person casting the spell rather than the person they are casting it on.

Love spells and money spells are both ethically questionable, but they are also very good practical demonstrations. The love spell demonstrates that if a spell can go wrong, it will, often with entirely unexpected and unwanted results. The money spell proves what a sense of humour the universe has.

Having said that, with my non-woo head on, ditto to what specialsubject said. You can't make someone truly love you, you can only make them fancy you a bit more, but the true, deep love that is needed to sustain a relationship, rather than a shallow sexual relationship can never be enforced or supported with a love spell.

littlecrystal Wed 24-Apr-13 13:18:26

Thank you to everyone. I had a good think overnight. I completely get what most of you are saying, but I still want to do the love spell with the onion. I already got the red pins smile Am I right to think that it depends on how I focus my energy on the spell. I want to be positive and bring the love out if it is there , and hope that if it is not there the spell will not work.

Is this a wrong interpretation of spell?

I read some other threads on here and I came to a conclusion that I am very negative person attracting negative thoughts and I should refocus myself on a positive thinking.

On the other hand, I find MN Relationship thread very negative – they will divorce any couple on there. I don’t believe in black and white, or a perfect other half. Life is full of compromises, and I am willing to make some with my H. Only if I feel loved and cared for…

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now