Year One Birthday party guestlist decision - advice needed

[Earlybird]

I'm thinking ahead to dd's birthday party, and am starting to make plans. She's in Year One, and will be turning 6, so definitely still at an age where it's standard for the entire class to be invited. We will also want to invite friends from reception who are in different classes this year, and will want to include a few non-school friends.

I'm a bit in shock as I've added up the number, and it is 35 children.

That seems a ludicrous number to me. It will be far too many children for her to even acknowledge everyone who is there. But, I don't know where/how to begin cutting the list without missing out a friend - granted all are not close friends. The party will probably be at a soft play centre, so space is not a factor.

What do the rest of you do, when they're too young to invite only a handful for a special event, but the numbers are silly? I'm only half joking when I think perhaps I should have it at an incovenient time......

[LemonTart]

All, some, or two events.. Always a big dilemma here too. We tend to go with a big do with all invited if the venue can cope. The extra in food costs and party bags can be minimal if you shop carefully and the potential for offence if you leave some out is so huge that I would rather cope with the extra financial hit!
I cater for £1 a head party bag and £1.50 a head for food and drink if that helps. Again, depends on what you put in the bags and how much food you do.
I had nearly 60 at my DD1?s last party at end of reception year - thanks to having loads of friends. We did Mcdonald style food boxes (pre-prepped all morning by a team of friends) and went in with another set of parents to offset the cost. Much easier.

[Earlybird]

Lemontart - did you really have 60?? Makes my number look reasonable!

And yes, it had occured to me to combine parties with a classmate to share costs. Good idea, I think.

[hana]

personally I think thats too many for a party - why do you have to invite the entire class? I'd go for just her current class or pick and mix
or why can't you have a handful? I've had small parties for dd at home - certianly under 10 people. this year was the first and last that I'll do the entire class! she's just turned 5
good luck in whatever you do!

[Earlybird]

hana - at this point, the entire class invites the entire class to each other's parties. Also, most of the parties happen during the week after school, so it's impossible to have a low key party with only a handful of people invited without hurting feelings/upsetting people.

It may be that this is just how it is for this age group. But, I wondered if anyone had successfully navigated the minefield, and might have thoughts to share. Anyone else?

[julienetmum]

It is definately not impossible to do this. Dd is in reception, her party was at my parents house in their small swimming pool, for size and safety reasons we had a limit on numbers andalso had to account for her brother and two cousins.

She is in a class of 20 and invited:

7 from her class
2 siblings who she also knows well
1 girl from nursery who left to go to another school
1 friend from outside school
2 cousins
her brother

Including her that made 15 but we had 3 refusals

We chose who to invite by giving her a set number and asking her to list the children who she plays with the most.

[flack]

Not negotiated this minefield EB because it isn't standard around here. Nearly all parties (from nursery onwards) only some of the class invited.

I don't envy you, but if that's really how people do it around your way, I think you'll have to lump it.

[Earlybird]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It helps to think out loud a bit, and get feedback. Think I will also seek advice from mums of older children at dd's school to see if they found a way around this dilemma, or if they just decided there would be a few years of huge birthday parties before solid friendships emerge and naturally scale down the numbers.

[Bozza]

DS is in Y1 and he has been to parties where the whole class has been invited - usually in a hall with disco/entertainer etc - and to more exclusive parties - the last one was sledging at the snozone with 10 children in total and only 7 from the class of 30. At soft play round here you pay per head (£6-7) so numbers definitely are an issue.

[TheHighwayCod]

no dont
dont mix groups
dont haev mor ehten 15





they wont care

[sunnysideup]

35 kids - you're right, it's far too many. Why is she too young to invite only a handful? I know you say all the classmates invite all the classmates to parties, but I bet my bottom dollar there are some in the class who either don't have parties, or who have just one friend for an outing, or just a couple for a small party; if not particular friends of your dd you wouldn't even know about it!

Why go with the herd? You won't offend your dd's particular friends because they'll be invited, so do you really mind if the mums of children your dd isn't even friends with, are a bit miffed if you don't invite them????