DD1 (aged 4.6 years) has, until the last 6 months been a very easy child. She was keen to please and affectionate, rarely tantrummed and altogether a much easier child than her younger sister.
However, recently she has been really pushing boundaries. She is VERY willful, demanding and defiant. She can be sulky, moody and sometimes physically aggressive with it.
I am pretty sure that motivation for this is attention and I do strive to ensure she gets as much of me as is feasible with another child in the mix (whom she adores BTW and plays really well with). I have been making time for her one-to-one on a regular basis and whilst we're doing things together she is the charming little sweet angel that I know best. However, I can't be making necklaces and colouring 24/7.
Also, if she doesn't get what she wants she gets into this mode again. Some examples. Yesterday, I gave her 2 Smarties yesterday as a reward for doing something and because the ones on offer were brown and blue (as opposed to pink, orange or some other acceptable girly hue) she went ape. My reaction to this was to calmly explain that these were the ones on offer to her and that she could either accept them or not have them at all. She carried on raging so I said she wasn't having them. She then started slapping me and I got properly angry and really yelled at her and smacked her hand. She cried for a bit and then we made up. it wasn't very nice for anyone and I felt bad. Last night she would only let me clean ONE tooth! Again, I was angry. This morning she asked for bread and jam which I happily gave her and she then refused to eat it saying she didn't want it, her eyes alight with the audacity of it. Cue a lecture on food wastage and yet again I'm angry (inside this time though) and feel sad having another negative emotion about her behaviour.
This happens about 3 or four times a day (although I don't always lose the plot like I did yesterday, thankfully) and I am really worrying about how this is affecting our relationship.
Any hints on how to manage it very gratefully received.
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Struggling with DD1 at the moment - need advice on how not to lose it (long, sorry)
28 replies
Pennies · 16/04/2009 10:31
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