Confessions of your PFB moments, come on in - the water is an exactly perfect temperature!

(174 Posts)
S1ur Sat 20-Sep-08 23:45:22

It has been a while since our last confessional.

<deep breath>

I once took dd to a&e because she had a bruise.

A fairly small but hard bruise on her side.

I thought she had broken her ribs.

Forgive me blush grin

Now join in and let me catagorically state that this PFBness is open to ALL parents and ALL dc despite how many you have. Come on you know you've all done something cringeworthy in retrospect.

hatwoman Sat 20-Sep-08 23:50:34

dd1 only ever wore white. when she was about 4 months old we visited friends and their 6 year old boy asked me why she was always dressed in white. I realised then that perhaps it was time to allow some colour.

Plonker Sat 20-Sep-08 23:53:03

I made a&e x-ray my pfb dd1s head after a bump and Would Not Leave until they had done so ...

blush

DP once forgot to put the tongs in the steriliser, so that meant that we couldn't use them to get the bottle/teat/collar/lid out.

Made him re sterilise.

AND I said

ahem

'I kept him safe for 9 months, don't you dare put him in danger'

blush

I used to work at a private day nursery pfb went there for a week (even tho id left long before)whilst i had ds2 also perfect grin.

2 years later dreadfully shortstaffed they sked me to 'help out'.

one mum came with her ds a big pfb and a huge list of instructions all plastic coated and everything was spotless and sterilised (she left 11 nappies per day assuming i would chnge him every hour on the hour and had a chart to see if hed weed or pooped in tht hour)now bearing in mind i was called in as favour and as a mum of 2 i had most experience this peturbed me as head of the baby room and after one morning being told he must not sleep longer than 20 mins after lunch (5 mins of which he was to be nursed) i vented my frustration at my manager .....ohhhhh says she ...fussy mother hmmm??? and produced 4 pages of A4 id written listing all the requirements of pfb and reminded me of the fact id made dh take a huge bottle of water every day s pfb didnt drink tap water,pfb didnt drink sugar drinks,pfb was not allowed crisps only finely sliced carrots and pfb ws to gently brush his teeth fter snack and lunch.........i crawled shamefaced away ......

S1ur Sat 20-Sep-08 23:55:54

haaaaahhaaa

'put him in danger'! hahahahahahahaaaa grin

My dd also wore white but also cream and beige I not that bad grin

<reserves seat for Plonker on wasting NHS resources bench> wink

i also demanded an emergency appointment at the dentist as pfb had cracked a back tooth shock i was yet again humiliated to see it wasnt half a broken tooth it was half a developing tooth.

S1ur Sat 20-Sep-08 23:57:57

The beauty of PFBness is in the shame afterwards.

Come forward and be cleansed

<with cool boiled water and cotton wool>

thumbwitch Sat 20-Sep-08 23:58:07

I took DS to the doc to check that his cough wasn't something more sinister, like aspirated dinner on his lungs (we'd had a bit of a fight about dinner and then he got the cough) - was told it as only a cough, lungs as clear as a bell. <but he did find a small murmur which was followed up and found to be nothing, thank god)

Also, took DS to be checked for upper lip frenulum being too tight/short/thick over his top gum, as was worried that it woud affect speech and his teeth - managed to get to see a consultant who breezily dismissed my concerns and said we'll review in a year. DS's front teeth (now through) have quite a large gap between them at the mo.. (DS = 9.5mo)

'I kept him safe for 9 months, don't you dare put him in danger'

i still use that line 15 years later lolol in fact i said to ds1 i took the time to grow you for 9 months you could at least turn down your ipod '''you do know i grew your eardrums

Notalone Sun 21-Sep-08 00:15:41

I used to "spend quality time" with DS under his baby gym, gently patting at the dangling shapes. I was convinced if I took the time to enjoy a cup of coffee / read a magazine etc instead then I was a terrible mother not making the most of my baby.

I don't think he noticed that I was actually there with him and he certainly doesn't remember it now blush

Oh these are all lovely

S1ur Sun 21-Sep-08 00:21:18

They are lovely I agree, like I used to talk to my days old child non stop and point out interesting features of autumnal trees. Which is lvely though prob ott.

However, on a mor embarrassing note..

I also used to turn dd away from televisions while out in case the flickering pictures affected her brain development.

Slur- you really were deranged weren't you??? wink

I cannot, honestly at all, truly recall anything to add to this thread. Honestly. Does that actually make me a very bad mother? blush

oh, apart from my utter dislike of the term in the first place... wink wink wink grin

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 21-Sep-08 00:34:31

i am a bad bad mummy my mantra always goes along the lines of:
she will fall off that table you are letting her dance on
and then she will learn that it is not a good idea to dance on side tables grin

problem is she never learns hmm she has the fractured gum, chipped tooth and glued head to prove it. she is still alive and nearly in one piece. as is dd2 who i have a similar mantra with.

no pfb moments here [smug]

S1ur Sun 21-Sep-08 00:36:40

Oh well susie, some of us were occasionally a wee bit overly concerned and well, pfb!

But get thee gone if you have nowt to share this is a place of healing shame.

And I am not alone

ghosty Sun 21-Sep-08 00:39:07

The first time my mother looked after DS over night (he was maybe 6 months old) I typed out 8 pages of detailed notes on what to do and when (down to when to change a nappy and what time to wake him from his nap) blush The fact that my mother had had 4 babies of her own seemed to escape me blush
My SIL looked after DS for one day a week when I went back to work. I had a diary in which she had to write the details of his day so I could check it when I picked him up. I often used to ask more detailed questions too, as "Woke up from nap at 1.45, changed nappy, had bottle" didn't seem to satisfy me blush
I was a complete twonk about it all. My SIL was very gentle with me and only started taking the piss when she could see I was robust enough to take it grin
My sister wasn't as gentle and told me on a regular basis that I was a neurotic mother ... so I had a great amount of pleasure 3 years later when she told us all off for flushing the toilet during her PFB's naptime grin

S1ur Sun 21-Sep-08 00:41:13

Ach at you, well yes I could list my NSO moments but the list might break mumsnet I don't know how big their storage is! grin Mostly I was very relaxed and sensible and not pfb at all of course but even I had the odd moment.

Needless to say That would be a whole other thread (and probably one that would end up being reported to SS) wink

<psst you are just blanking the memories let them free and heal thyself>

S1ur Sun 21-Sep-08 00:42:53

That's the spirit ghosty!

<see what I did there? wink>

ghosty Sun 21-Sep-08 00:47:58

Thank you for not making any disparaging remarks or casting aspersions, Slur
<see what I did there??? winkgrin>

S1ur Sun 21-Sep-08 00:50:21

Arf at you!

Pesha Sun 21-Sep-08 00:51:53

The only PFB thing I can remember did was to always put DD in vests. I remember in the summer, when she was about 7 or 8 months, scouring the shops for vests with pretty pictures on so if it was hot I could take her T-shirt off and she'd still look pretty. It never even occurred to me that I could put her in just a T-shirt with no vest underneath! hmm blush

I think I'd read the stuff about dressing newborns in vests and somehow decided that it was in the Baby Rules that they must always wear a vest, perhaps to stop the nappy from spontaneously falling off. hmm

themoon66 Sun 21-Sep-08 00:55:30

I thought I didn't do anything too mad. Then, when clearing out boxes of old stuff to move house, I found that I'd kept a diary of everything DD ate for the first few months after she was weaned. I'd recorded exactly how many spoonfuls she ate, what it was and what time she ate it blush

That is soooo not like me. Honestly.

themoon66 Sun 21-Sep-08 00:58:11

My PFB madness is now starkly in contrast to how she has turned out..... getting pissed many times a week on blue WKD and living off junk food!

Why do we bother.

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