Help! My 3.6 yo wont eat 'proper' food. Any advice?

[libralady]

My DS is 3.6 and we are having some serious issues around his eating. He wont eat anything I have spent time preparing which I consider to be 'proper' food. He will only consider eating if it is processed - chicken nuggets, onion rings, smiley faces (all baked - not fried). He wont eat roast chicken, or any meat for that matter (unless it is tinned sausages and beans). He wont even try things like home made macaroni cheese even though he'll eat it out of a tin. And trying to get him to eat fresh vegetables is also a nightmare.
A typical day's food for him is
Breakfast - cereal (weetabix, cheerios, porrige, rice krispies or cornflakes) with semi skimmed milk and NO sugar with a glass of fresh cranberry or apple juice. Sometimes he'll have toast with peanut butter or chocolate spread or sometimes a yoghurt.
Mid morning snack - Slices of apple or grapes with a glass of milk.
Lunch - Fish fingers, chicken nuggets, tinned macaroni cheese, tinned sausages and beans/spaghetti, cheese omelette, pizza with cheese and tomato (and ham if I can disguise it) some form of processed potato (smiley faces, curly fries, waffles, croquettes. The only veg he will eat is onion rings. He'll have water to drink with his lunch.
Supper - muffins, crumpets, bagels, cheese and crackers, pancakes, teacake, followed by a piece of homemade cake and a piece of fruit washed down with some milk.
I am at my wits end. We like to think that we eat healthily and have a varied and balanced diet. I like to prepare my own meals using fresh ingredients like spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, roast dinners, chops, home made soups etc and it is becoming like a battle ground where my son is concerned. Am I being paranoid? I have spoken to my HV and to be honest I have no faith in her whatsoever and she just says he will eat when he wants to. That is not the issue, the issue is trying to get him to eat the 'right' things. I want to get this sorted before he starts school next September. I have spoken to other parents at his pre-school and non seem to have any problems and that their children eat what the parents are. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[MaureenMLove]

My godson used to be just like that a 3. The trick is not to force it. If you do, i'll just compound things and make dinner time even more of a battle. He's diet isn't that bad really. He's getting everything he needs atm, so I think just bear with him. Don't judge your lo, by everyone elses. One day, you'll put something in front of him and he'll eat it. Promise!

[Mercy]

Agree with Maureen. (I have a fussy eater too btw, there's quite a few us in MN!)

What sort of veg have you offered him?

[EmsMum]

My DD (8) still doesn't eat much 'proper' food at home, but has got less fussy about school lunches.

If your DS eats fruit and baked beans, don't worry too much about other veg.

I think quite a lot of small children don't like 'mixed up' food - things like lasagne.
Have you tried serving roast meat - carefully trimmed of any yukky bits with a Yorkshire pud and gravy as a dip rather than all over everything? Just a thought, thats how DD started, now its all on one plate with carrots too.

[tracyk]

Is he any better if he had other kids around him?
Can you ask him to help you cook dinner - get him more interested in food?
my ds would love to eat rubbish all day - but I have it drummed into him what's healthy and whats not. And he has to eat a good proprtion of healthy stuff before unhealthy. So he does eat it - but whether he 'enjoys' it - I don't know.
But I also find that if its a bit different - like using chop sticks or spaghetti with an electric fork - he loves the novelty.

[libralady]

Mercy,
You name it, I have tried it. Carrots, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, boiled potatoes, swede and carrot mash, sweetcorn, cabbage, sprouts, parsnips, onions (won't eat these even though he loves onion rings), mushrooms, peas, pumpkin, curly kale, brocolli, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, beetroot, leeks, courgette, marrow............

[GColdtimer]

My dd is only 18 months but suddenly went off vegetables. I sliced some parsnips, butternut squash and carrot with a potato peeler, sprayed them with some oil and baked them on a high heat for about 5-10 minutes. She thought they were crisps and she stuffed down a whole bowl.

Sorry, I know that has answered you real question but it might help on the getting more veg down him front!

[Mercy]

ok, will come back, have to go to school now.

[libralady]

Made a casserole on Saturday night which my husband I had with a mixture of dumplings, small jacket potatoes and rice. Gave DS some in a Yorkshire pudding and he just refused point blank to even try it. It just had stewing steak, onion, mushrooms, peas, carrots and swede in it. Even got him to help me make it thinking he would be proud of what he had done. We've even got him out in the garden helping to dig up the potatoes, carrots, leeks, parsnips, and help shell the peas in the summer, all to no avail.
The other problem we seem to have is he doesn't like things touching each other on the plate. i.e. if I serve up stew/cottage pie or something, it can't touch his potatoes or veg. Even baked beans (unless with his sausages) can't touch his smiley faces or onion rings as 'it's got sauce all over it'!

[Blu]

Small children do seem to prefer food in little units.

Will he eat a chicken drumstick, roasted in honey and soy, perhaps? Pick it up and gnaw it?

or corn on the cob?

or any veg as finger food - carrots to dip in humous?

I think things like smiley faces are popular because they are cruncy, identifiable units and quite salty. The same for nuggets and onion rings.

DS is older now but many of his ridiculous eating fads now are down to the way i got him to eat things as a toddler. he eats fresh pineapple with a cocktail stick. Strawberries have to have the stalk on and he holds the stalk and dips them in yogurt. He will only eat a satsuma if it is divided into segments and there is no jouce evident on the outside of the segment.

He will eat asparaus spears, as finger food.

All very embarrassing!

[bozza]

So what do you do if you give him something and he refuses it?

[bozza]

I agree with the small units thing, blu. But it should still be possible to do that quite easily with a roast dinner. What about sausages and mash? Will he eat either of those?

[Blu]

And they often hate gravy poured over dinner.

[libralady]

Is he any better if he had other kids around him?
Can you ask him to help you cook dinner - get him more interested in food?
my ds would love to eat rubbish all day - but I have it drummed into him what's healthy and whats not. And he has to eat a good proprtion of healthy stuff before unhealthy. So he does eat it - but whether he 'enjoys' it - I don't know.
But I also find that if its a bit different - like using chop sticks or spaghetti with an electric fork - he loves the novelty.
Hi traceyk,
I do get him involved at every opportunity possible. He loves 'baking' fairy cakes and gingerbread men and his pancakes are fantastic. I've extended this to helping prepare the evening meals and tbh the only one he will eat is omellette. He is full aware that if he doesn't eat his dinners, he doesn't get a desert. What get's me the most is that he just pushes his plate away and say's 'I don't like that' when he hasn't even bothered trying it. Another thing is, I haven't given him anything he didn't have in a jar of babyfood when he was younger and he scoffed the lot then!

[Baffy]

really good idea twofalls

and tbh I wouldn't worry too much - he is still very young and at least he is actually eating something (which is honestly more than some children I know!)

as he gets older you can have rewards for trying new foods maybe?

also know that some people on here have said just serve up what you are having (with 1 thing on the plate you know he likes) and then leave him to it. no fuss. if he doesn't eat, take plate away and that's the end of it.


also you said breakfast, lunch and then supper - what about an evening meal?

if he is having crumpets/homemade cake etc at supper time, he may not have too much incentive to eat his lunch or evening meal... perhaps no more supper. no puddings. just healthy evening meal along with the rest of the family...?

[libralady]

Bozza,
If he refuses something, I just take it away and calmly say he isn't getting anything else.

[GColdtimer]

I have no idea what I am talking about as my dds too young, but my sil got her dd to eat new things by using reward charts. If she tried something different she got a sticker, if she got lots of stickers she got a treat (I don't know the ins and outs but I know that it worked and she is a lot better now (is 4, she was an absolute nightmare).

[karen999]

My daughter was exactly the same for years. I ended up getting her involved in helping to prepare the dinner - home made pizzas (making smiley faces on them) little shape cutters for fruit and veg etc. It can be quite messy but she always seemed far keener when she had made it herself. Even sandwiches cut into shapes make them seem more intersting. I found that if it looked fun then she was more willing to try it.

It might help?

[libralady]

Baffy,

Sorry, supper is his evening meal. Although if he hasn't had his dinner at lunch time, he purely gets a slice of bread and butter with no topping and no cake.
I'm not filling him up on tea if he hasn't made the effort to eat his dinner. Is this harsh?

[libralady]

twofalls,
I've tried this and it has no effect on him whatsover

[tracyk]

What if you made healthy homemade varieties of what he does like - ie home made chicken nuggets, or smiley faces - with some carrot mashed through the potato filling?
I think some kids just aren't 'into' eating - they do it cos they have to - rather than for enjoyment - iykwim. They'd rather be playing or doing somthing more exciting. so they like the snacky/picky things as it doesn't involve a lot of time or effort.

[libralady]

The reward chart that it. Quite interested in your idea about vegetable crisps. May give that one a go.

[bellaprincess]

My daughter is 3.5yrs old and pretty much the same. I have in the last month got her to eat peas and carrots but this has taken about 6 months to get there. It is frustrating when you put something in front of them and they just go yuk don't want it.
I have gone through the pleading (oviously never worked , the stickers (no response from them), shouting (enough said ) to finally just accepting that it is just going to take a bloody long time.
Your son eats fruit - a step in the right direction - will eat potato, although processed ( one thought I ran out of chips once so cut up a potato into chips put some olive oil on them and baked them in a high oven and she eat them might work never know) anyway I ramble he does eat resonable good. Could you take a step back and just gradually introduce new foods to him like peas for a couple of weeks. Each meal put a coulple of peas on his plate and when he tries one he gets a reward. If that works go onto the next vegatable etc etc.
Good luck I know it is very hard work.

[libralady]

Today I made chicken cakes made from the leftover chicken from the roast on sunday.
These are similar to fish cakes (which he does eat) except they contain chicken, mashed potato, finely chopped onion and a bit of parsley mixed together made into pattys and rolled in breadcrumbs before shallow frying. Wholesome and nutritious (sp?) and an excellent way of using up the leftovers if there isn't wuite enought meat for a meal.

[tracyk]

At least your lot are consistent. Mine will wolf some salmon with hoisin on it - because it's 'chinese' - and then a couple of days later - I'll spend £3 on some more salmon - and he'll turn his nose up!

[libralady]

I make homemade chicken soup from the stock, grated potatoe, carrots, finely chopped onion, pearl barley and parsley. He used to eat this when he was 12mths to 2 years but then refused it when I served it up. I supposed he was given it once or twice a month, depending if I had any stock from roasting chickens. It's not as though he was given it every day for a fortnight.