Swearing mum on playdate

[Pekalnose]

My 8 yr old came home from friends tonight & Said friends mum used the f word & called other drivers dicks whilst in the car. I am devastated, we do not swear in front of him & he's not used to hearing this. How do I tackle this without confrontation?

[longdiling]

Was any of the swearing aimed at him? Did he have a good time otherwise? Was he safe and well looked after? Lots of parents round where I live have potty mouths but are perfectly nice people otherwise. If that's the case here I would just chat with your son about how you really don't want him to use that language but do nothing else really.

[frikadela01]

Really?? You were devastated

Only thing you can do is not send him there again.

[LucilleBluth]

Devastated, really! He will have to venture into the real world one day. If the mum is otherwise ok I would just explaine that she's a really bad driver.

[LucilleBluth]

Explaine......wtf, explain

[Robotgirl]

Errrrr... Was he in my car?

[CinderellaFant]

Devastated? You are in for a shock

[ohisay]

Tell him some people swear and some people don't. Then forget about it! Personally i wouldn't swear in front of other people's children, I do swear in front of my own occasionally and they know words they shouldn't use.
No discussion with offending parent needed!

[YakTriangle]

Explain that words like that aren't very nice and you don't want to hear or say them at your house, but that other people make their own decisions about which words to use. Not that she really should been swearing in front of children, but there we are. Devastated is a bit much isn't it?

[Haudyerwheesht]

It's not ideal but seriously if you're devastated you need to take a long hard fucking look at yourself.

[Pekalnose]

I have teenagers so am under no illusion that they will hear it at some point but is it too much to ask that I send my innocent 8 yr to a friend's for a couple of hours without hearing it , I wouldn't swear in front of his friends

[longdiling]

Some people just aren't bothered by swearing though. If it really upsets you then don't accept invites there again but I'm not sure what else you feel you should do, wash the other mum's mouth out with soap?!

[Pekalnose]

Thank you for your helpful response

[Robotgirl]

It's not ideal but seriously if you're devastated you need to take a long hard fucking look at yourself.

Pa ha ha!

[FreshHorizons]

There is nothing that you can do other than explain to your DS that some people swear and avoid in future if you don't like it. You cannot control your DS's whole environment.

[Thatrabbittrickedme]

What exactly are you so worried about? I assume that your child might start using the words he's heard?

You can't protect your child forever (and 8 isn't overly young to be hearing the word fuck for the first time!) . The healthy thing to do is have a chat about swearing - some people do it, children must not say those words, it's rude/unpleasant etc. Then he won't repeat the words himself.

[TheChimpParadox]

Could have been worse as well as using F word could have called the drivers ' wankers' instead of dicks.

[maybebabybee]

You were devastated?

Really?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

You can't tackle it without confrontation. You'll be told to fuck off

[RoseDeWittBukater]

Ha ha ha ha ha! If your 'innocent' 8 year old goes to school and has friends (he clearly does) then he already swears.

[passmethewineplease]

Get a grip.

Devistatuon is a major major overstatement.

Just tell him some people swear,some people don't and not to repeat.

plus other drivers can be dicks in the other mums defence

[WanderingTrolley1]

Don't tackle it, just don't accept more play dates. If sweary-mum plays her face, tell her why.

[TheChimpParadox]

After the stressful drive home she probably went home cracked open a bottle of wine , lit a fag and let the kids watch porn.

[Badgerncub]

If the worst thing that happens is that your son picks up a few swear words then your world is fairly rosy. I'm more concerned about my children having to associate with busy bodies whose problems are so 'first world' that they create confrontation where none exists. 'Devastated'???!!!! Hell's teeth!

[FanFuckingTastic]

Do you think it is better to omit something completely or aim for mild exposure and boundary setting?

I personally continue to use certain language, but have educated my kids to understand that it is adult language and that they can chose whether to use it or not when they are adults. Before that, it's the same as anything else an adult can do that a child is not allowed to, they would be punished and I would be very disappointed.

Devastated would be a bit dramatic in my opinion, but if you are aiming for complete omission then I guess it might be more upsetting for you. How do/did you intend on protecting them from words so commonly used, especially in public?

I felt that even if I stopped myself, they would be exposed anyway, so it was better for them to hear it and understand that it's not for them, but neither is it shocking or terrible. Apart from a few incidents when they were toddlers and young children, they've never sworn at an adult, I can't say they've never used the language at all away from adults, but they are words and in the grand scheme it's a minor thing, not so harmful.

[ArriettyMatilda]

FanFuckingTastic I wondered about adopting a similar approach with toddler DD since I can't seem to curb my swearing I don't swear at people though or call them names. So I wouldnt say piss off or call someone a dick but I often say shit if something bad happens (like dropping a bottle of milk everywhere) and fuck if I hurt myself since it makes me feel better. Though perhaps I should use words that I am happy to explain the meaning of. I seriously wouldn't bother even mentioning it her but I'd have a chat with your son about when it is appropriate to use those words (as an adult, in private etc).