Does Big baby equal big child/adult?

[3xamum]

Just wanted some advice or opinion.

My dd who was my second child was my heaviest baby at 9lb 7oz. She is now 7 and very worried about her weight.

She eats healthily and far less than her older brother. Her dad (my ex) was very heavy as a child right into his teenage years when the weight dropped off of him.

I'm really worried for her and try to reassure her that she has plenty of developing time ahead of her and that in the new year we will go to the doctor and discuss healthy eating (i have NOT mentioned the word diet although she keeps mentioning it)

What are the stats on big babies becoming big adults?

HELP!!

[AlienEarsUnderSantasHat]

DD is nearly 6 and is clothes for an 8 - 9 year old. She was 9lb 12 oz at birth and stuck like glue to the top of the charts. She's tall and well built with a lovely round tummy which causes most of the problems for getting clothes.

How does your DD compare to her class mates - within her year there are 3 other girls who are of a similar build.

[3xamum]

She is more developed and taller than most of her classmates although a couple are the same build.

She is such a pretty girl and it breaks my heart that she should be worrying about her weight this young.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

No!

[tortoiseBells]

All my babies have been big - ds1 was 9lb12, and is skinny as can be - he's a tiny frame - I can put my hands round his waist. Dd was 10lb0, and she is much more 'well built'. Like your dd, she eats REALLY healthily, but she's never going to be a waif. She's slim, apart from her tummy(!) which is a bit podgy, but I can see her slimming off as she grows. Ds2 was 10lb2, and is now on the 2nd-9th centile.

My brother was really quite plump as an 11-13 year old, and he is now very lean and healthy. I'm sure health is the key, as when they get older, they've got to be more likely to make healthy choices - I'm more worried about ds1's eating, even though he is so slim - I just don't think he would choose healthy food, whereas dd adores fruit, and chooses it as a snack.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

My DS was 9 lbs 10 and now at age 5 he is only average, he is in 4-5 trousers and 5-6 tops and weighs 44lbs. He is big boned, but not tall, and very skinny - he has bones poking out all over. DD was 8 lb 12 so not huge but big enough as a baby and now she is fairly petite, at 2 1/2 she is wearing mainly 18-24 clothes and can even get into a 9-12 pinafore without looking ridiculous.

But actually I think you may be more interested in me. I was born 9lb 5 and was generally a big child, but now aged 33 I am 5 foot 4 (so not very tall) and a size 10. I have put on a bit of weight in the last year or so (think my metabolism is slowing a bit) but until then was weighing near enough 9 stone. I am big boned though.

I think your real problem here is not your daughter's weight but her perception of it. I think you need to really press the healthy lifestyle but no dieting line and also keep telling her how fantastic and beautiful she is. Does she get plenty of exercise? It is such a shame that she is talking about dieting at age 7.

[expatinscotland]

No.

DH's best mate is a shrimp. The guy's 5ft., 4in. at best.

He was a staggering 11lbs., 2 oz at birth.

He's the father of two sons - one born at 11lbs., 12 oz. and the other at 10lbs., 12 oz.

[ComeOyefaithfulVeneer]

I think you need to look at the gene pool for your child as well as their birth weight. DS was a 10lber at birth and long (61cm). He is almost 2 and is in 3year old clothes. My father is 6ft 4ins, so all in all I am fairly sure dd will be a big lad.

[WigWamBahhumbug]

How sad that she's talking about dieting at 7. I agree that the problem here is probably not her weight, but her perception of it and her self-esteem.

I would be reluctant to take her to the GPs, to be honest - I wouldn't want to do anything which might cause her to believe that she is overweight, or had a problem with eating. Her diet sounds healthy already, and if she is tall, then her extra weight is likely to be in proportion with her height. Maybe you could try talking about healthy eating and exercise, and try boosting her self-esteem a bit.

My dd is 5, wears age 9 clothes, and although she is heavier than her classmates she is far taller, and her weight is in proportion with her height. She's by no means fat - you can see her ribs - she's just a tall girl and her frame reflects that. It would break my heart if she thought she needed to diet just because she has a larger build than her friends.

[3xamum]

Thanks for the replies I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes.

All her worries stems from some delightful boy at school asking her if she ate all the pies. DS1 who is 9 is horrified everytime she mentions her weight and literally polices her eating dinner, panicking that she is tring to diet ( bless him)

Gene pool wise as I said her dad was a big child but he is now tall and slim, I was the opposite small as a child and now a 3 kids later size 16. In saying that I never talk about my own weight.

WigWamBahhumbug, I agree about the GP but i really don't know where else to turn too.

[kslatts]

Both my dd's were big babies, dd1 is now 7 and dd2 is 4, both are average weight for their age. I was a small baby but unfortunately I'm now overweight and have been since I was about 17.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

Definitely do everything you can to boost her self-esteem. Explain what a silly thing it was that the boy said.

I tell mine what different kinds of food do for them in a pretty rough way, eg drinking lots of milk will give them strong bones. And all the rest of it. Mine have quite a good diet (although it does tend to go to pot at this time of year). The main issue I have is getting them to drink enough.

[jeangenie]

you poor thing - and your poor DD

dunno about the big baby = big child/adult thing but I know I was a big girl (never hugely overweight, just taller and well, bigger, than most of my peers. I had a VERY skinny little sister with whom I was usually unfavourably compared - she would have to have been much more confident and popular too, wouldn't she!!!) I had such a hard time over it from a couple of boys that it made my life a misery for a while

my mum obviously thought it was more of a problem than I think it actually was (looking at photos now, yes I was biggish, but I was so healthy looking) and tried to police my food. I still remember one episode when everyone else in the family was having lemon meringue (it was the 70s!) pie for pudding and I wasn't allowed any. I was 7 fgs!!!

[my mum was a sweety btw, just misguided]

anyway, DON'T do anything about her eating, she sounds like she is doing fine. Taking her to the GP only gives credence to the idea that she has a problem, which it doesn't sound like she does, imo.

I went on to have anorexia followed by bulimia for over 10 years, was hospitalised twice, lowest weight was under 5 stone at which point I was wired up to a drip and sedated until I gained weight. [My mum wasn't holding back the epuddings then!]

protect your little girl from these stupid stupid boys, do everything you can to make sure she cintinues to eat healthily and never make out the problem is her weight

I am sitting here shaking at the thought of the poor thing, am so angry on her behalf (and of course it's reminded me of that awful period of my life that I haven't thought about in ages)

can you get school to help deal with this, definitely don't let it go on

[3xamum]

Oh jeangenie, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Your story makes me realise the damaging effects these comments will have on my dd.

I spoke to the mum of the boy in question and she was downright rude to me even though I kept it polite, but he hasn't commented again so she must have said something.

Open evening tomorrow so I will speak to her teacher too.

[jeangenie]

3xamum, hopefully you'll be able to tackle the issue and those silly comments won't end up having an effect at all. Sounds like you are going the right way about it at the moment anyway.

I would definitely raise with her teacher, it is bullying imo and given the serious repercussions bullying of this nature can have the school should take it very seriously (not downplaying the effects of other types of bullying btw). I know the boy in question probably isn't old enough to realise the potential effects his words might have, but somebody needs to stop this or defuse it somehow

good luck

[pigletsmum]

I agree with Anniemac, tell her she is beautiful and that her current weight ok. and again make sure everyone in the house eats healthy not just dd.

I watched a heart rendering programme earlier this week about a 36 stone 19 year old girl. She started off like this - being seen as overweight at THREE YEARS OLD! AND put on a diet at SEVEN!!! She ended up with no self estime, her mother made her eat all the low fat stuff but let her brothers have lots of choclate etc. Not surprisingly she turned to food for comfort and over ate her way to 36 stone!!!!!

one more thing to remember children need a little bit of fat on them to help with the growth spurts. she will even out in the end but keeping her attitude to food healthy is the only way to go now.

looking back now i was a perfectly healthy size 10/12 in my teens (oh i wish i were that size now) but through my parents and my sister (a size 8/10) i came to believe that i was fat. i have never dieted and so unlike my mum (who has balloooned over the years despite dieting to a size 22) i am a healthy 14/16. i could be thinner but would i be happy? and that is the important point.

[firemaiden]

3xamum, so sorry to hear about your dd. Apart from all the other excellent advice here, I think it would be worth putting the remark in context ie point out to her, as I am sure you have, that other children, particularly boys of a certain age , make silly remarks designed to hurt. It is "just" name-calling, it doesn't mean that what they say is true or even that they necessarily believe it. No doubt if she wore glasses, he would have called her 4 eyes or made some other remark if he couldn't have used that tired old pie line!

As others say, keep boosting her self-esteem and, if she really insists on some positive action, suggest she starts a new activity where she will be doing exercise and meet some nicer people?

[xmasmummy]

no it dont mean diddly shit. my youngest was only 6lb at birth, she now 9 months and 25lb. she in 12-18 clothes and other dd was 7lb 2 at birth and now 29lb at 21 months in 18-24 clothes. there are 11 1/2 months between them and only 4 lb 2 oz difference in weight

[xmasmummy]

also forgot to say. my ds2 was tiny born, grew mega fast and was in 9-12 months clothes at 5 months. he is five now and is tiny only just gone into 4-5 clothes

[3xamum]

Thanks for all your positive advice!

Spoke to DDs teacher this week and she was rather taken aback that it was an issue at her age and said she would have a think about how to approach it - mmmm not sure what will come of that

[jeangenie]

that teacher sounds a bit out of touch to me

I wouldn't worry too much though 3xamummy - you sound as though you'll act sensibly on this and ensure, as much as you can at least, that it doesn't become a big issue for your dd. And her big brother sounds fab! I suppose you just want to watch that her eating/not eating doesn't start gaining her lots of attention though, as that can be a trigger for eating problems too.

Good luck

[3sEnough]

Hi - can I suggest trying to get her interested in more sport/outdoor activities - I haven't read all of the posts so am not sure if this has been done, but far better to concentrate on health rather than weight (or not talking about it) If dd is cardiovascular exercising into teenage years and beyond she will be able to deal with any 'non-healthy' food habits much more easily due to the 'calories in, calories out' rule and the fact that the endorphines released when exercising will help to keep her mood happy and reduce/deal with stress. I hope this helps. For what it's worth I was a 'solid' child (thanks for that one mum!) who grew into very tall and slim adult.

[Pitchounette]

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[jollyhollymum]

If you know she's eating OK and not wildly overweight, get her to ignore that boy. Boost her up, big time. One of my DD's friends was in Yr 6 and had annorexia. She felt she was fat and wasn't. Has physiatric treatment now and very nearly died in hospital. My DD is 11 and is skinnier than she was but stands badly and has a sticky out tummy. She insists she's "fat" and her 3 brothers tease her which doesn't help.Teachers need to be aware of stuff like this and so do other kids. Teasing is bullying and maybe they have "circle time" or whatever where they can talk about hurt feelings etc. Kids can be horrible too-my DS(aged 7) has just had to draw a pic of himself and then the class pass it round, they all do it. They have to make comments about each other, as positive as possible. I cringed when my DS said he hates someone and was going to say bad things He was joking but something like that could really influence/damage a child if not done with sensitivity.Keep her spirits up and just watch what she eats. Make sure she does eat her lunches and get the school to check. My DD's friend was chucking her lunch away, not eating breakfast and my DD knew this. I asked her why she didn't tell and she just said that **felt fat and she was dieting!

[Pitchounette]

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