Hi everyone.
Just wondered if people think I overreacted as I still feel really angry and upset about what happened yesterday.
I took my DS's to visit my inlaws, which has always been really nice. They're kind and loving people.
DS1 is 3 and was playing when his grandad asked him for a 'high five'. Any other time, he's grinned and obliged straight away, with lots of giggles to follow, so tbh, I was a bit surprised when he said no very flatly. I spoke to him quietly to say it wasn't the nicest way to talk to Pops and he apologised, then went back to playing with his toys.
A minute later, my FIL asked, "Are you coming on holiday with us in the summer?" We told our DS some months back that the whole family were going on holiday, and he's been so excited whenever we've talked about it, so he replied "Yes I am! It's very exciting, I'm going on a plane and going on holiday everyone!!" My FIL then looked deadpan and said "No you're not, you're not coming." My son looked confused for a minute, then smiled and said "You're silly Pops, yes I am." To which, my FIL said very firmly, "NO. You're not!" I was waiting for the laughter, but it never came, and I was shocked. I didn't know what to say and, after watching DS walk away and play in silence for 20 minutes, I made an excuse so we could leave. Now, I wish I'd said something and been a better mummy to my DS.
As we pulled away in the car, DS still looked so upset and told me he was very sad because Daddy had got it wrong. I asked him what he meant and he said, "Daddy was wrong. He said we would all go on a plane together but he's wrong. I'm not going." I told him Pops was joking and he was going on holiday with Mummy, Daddy, his baby brother, and all the rest of the fsmily but he burst into tears saying I was wrong and that he wasn't going, over and over. Nothing I could say would calm him and the next thing I knew he'd undone his seatbelt. I was on the motorway and I panicked. I yelled at him and was absolutely terrified for the next two miles? Until I could get off the mororway, stop and strap him in again. He was in such a state and kept saying he was very sorry and that it was all his fault.
He cried all the way home and was still very quiet when DH finally got home. My DS is the happiest, most loving and gentle boy I know, and DH asked what was wrong almost straight away. I spoke to him away from the boys, hoping for understanding, but all he said was "Did Dad really say that? And then he really laughed and walked away.
Am I being really stupid here not to have seen a funny side to it at all??? Who says that to a 3 year old?!!! My son is bright but couldn't possibly understand it as funny, and while my FIL has no idea what happened in the car, I'm still so angry with him. I'm really angry at myself for being too stunned to know what to say and put it right. To me, what he said was cruel and spiteful.
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AIBU to think FIL was spiteful?
45 replies
MrsHelenBee · 04/06/2015 21:47
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