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If you are yet to become a school mum, rest assured that you need to know about all the MUMS that IU will list in alphabetical order because you are about to meet them. If you are already a school mum, well, you know them already. But the key question remains: which one are you?
H is for hijab mum. You can only see her eyes (they're very pretty) and when you smile at her you think she's smiling back, but you're not sure. She doesn't appear to speak English. She does however have a very fit young husband who you often see bringing the kids in. He wears cherry red gap jeans. Quite tight ones actually.
W is for 'weave mum'. She's got a terrible weave with a zip set into the parting. You are fascinated by her two inch long, tiger print false nails and wonder how she does the washing up wearing them. Then you realise she probably doesn't do much washing up because she stops off at Favourite Fried Chicken on the high street every day on the way back from school and gets the kids their tea there.
D is for 'depressing mum'. She is sometimes to be seen outside the betting shop with a skinny roll up in one hand and a can of Tennant in the other not long after drop off. She only appears to have one set of clothes: a stained black shell suit, which she wears every day. Her kids are adorable if slightly dazed looking.
You can tell my kids go to an inner city school can't you?
Wow. I am so glad I am whatever letter that is "mum who drops her DCs at breakfast club at 8:30 and has DH or older DCs to pick him up at 3:30pm. But who does however go to all the parents evenings/sports days/school plays.
This is the bitchiness of the school gate I hear so much about on here.
I'm so glad I don't care enough to dissect other parents.
O = old Mum = me.. F= frumpy Mum = me G = governor Mum = me= not sure how to explain what I do... F= flustered Mum = me S= smiley Mum = me= .... ...D= deranged looking smiley Mum... = M= manic looking Mum=....... could go on but best stop now......