Mumsnet Talk

Oh, almost forgot the old chestnut of sharing the burden of looking after us when we're old...

Who is to say that your only child will not have a caring and supportive family of their own that is quite happy to share that "burden" with them when the time comes?

Also, if I had a pound for every time I've heard a person trotting out a tale of woe about how "my useless brother(s) or selfish sister(s) don't lift a finger to help with my mum/dad" I'd be rich.

Life is too short to worry about "what ifs" like this anyway. Who knows what might happen. You could be wiped out in a car crash, die suddenly, or peacefully at home in your sleep without ever becoming a "burden" to anyone.

What a completely gorgeous thread! Having one child is ace and such and amazing blessing. Love being a family of 3 and if it aint broke why fix it!!

On leaving the mat ward after a scary emcs, a few years after our first was stillborn, second miscarried, the midwife cheerily said, " see you in about 2 years then!" Um no.

Love this thread, well most of it. Ds will be an only and the positives are cheering me on no end!

To anyone who thinks having only one child is selfish:
What about the impact on our planet ? We don't actually need more people, and having any children at all could be called selfish as they are adding to the strain on the planet. (I have only one at the moment, might have more..undecided)

People who criticise parents of onlies need to be more sensitive too, as there are often fertility issues, past miscarriages, difficult pregnancies, possibly relationship issues that the person might not want to discuss.

I think in the UK its just socially acceptable to have two, not for good reasons, its just the status quo. In China and Japan its completely normal to have one.
Having said that, everyone should do whats right for them, because happy parents means happy kids.

It would be not very clever to have more than one kid just because you want to be like everyone else, if its going to put a huge strain on your finances and your marriage/partnership and you end up splitting up.
rant over !

Just wanted to say what a lovely thread this, I have one dd who will be an only child. Finding it very difficult to come to terms with this as I've had two miscarriages and other medical problems and reading this has made me feel so much better about the situation.

I'm almost completely sure that my 2 year old DD will be an only child, I don't feel the same urge to have another child as I felt to have her, in fact the thought of pregnancy/labour and birth/newborn sleep deprivation and endless crying fills me with dread. I love that my baby has turned into this amazing little person who can hold a conversation and do more stuff by herself all the time. For me, one child means more quality time, less stress and financial worry. I can't quite bring myself to give away the moses basket and other small baby stuff yet but I'm pretty sure I won't use it again.

My ds is 18 he is such a pita I couldn't have coped with another No seriously its great one child families hugely on the rise according to press the last few days and 3 child families which has always been the n=most common falling sharply. I wanted another but couldn't although my open house policy over the years means I have a lot of teenagers around. I think it gets too much discussion tbh. there were 11 only children boys in ds school and so it felt quite normal.

I love my two brothers but have absolutely nothing in common with either of them and see them maybe twice a year. We had very little to do with each other as children. I've always regarded my friends as my 'siblings' in a way and have maintained several close friendships since childhood.