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Well, i have loved spending time with you tonight and I wish I could have had time to respond to everyone. You are all doing brilliantly - the fact that you come on a site like this shows you care about your kids and want to do what you can to make sense of the hardest and most important job we do - raising our kids. I'm off to bed... horlicks in hand, and do get back to me at www.parentingpeople.co.uk
night night Judy Reith
We're afraid that's the end of the live chat now and thanks to everyone for sending in their questions. Judy says that if she wasn't able to answer your queries here tonight (and there was some volume to get through!) then you can contact her via her website - parenting people where she will try to answer your queries (although she can't promise to reply to all) Many thanks to Judy for joining us on Mumsnet and a big thanks also to Horlicks for sponsoring the chat. Remember - after such an exciting evening, if you're feeling the need for a milky drink to wind down, you can send off for your free sample of Horlicks by clicking here
Hi Malache again... I hope you go and buy the best notebook you can afford to keep a note of what triggers you off . Also, how about committing to writing in it each day for a week what you have done well as a Mum - I bet you could fill a page with all sorts of things, from smiling at your daughter to taking the trouble to read her a story.
Underlying stress is a big problem for lots of 21c parents - the web is heaving with stress busting tips so have a look around and see what works for you - it will be worth it for all of you.
OOh forgot all about this.
Judith what are your tips for raising a highly sensitive child? My 3 year old dd is very confident at home and around her peers so i'm not worried about the social aspect. Her pre- school teacher says she's like 2 different children the one who plays with her friends laughing and joking and on stage (she was suprisingly very loud and great in the Christmas play) then there's the child who is very, very shy amongst teachers and lacking in confidence so much so that when she asks them if her shoes are on the right feet after gym when they aren't they daren't tell her she's wrong in case she crumbles so have taken to telling her 'yes that's right but just the other way round!'. Should also say she has started to cry going into nursery saying 'one more hug mummy , one more kiss' etc She's fine once she's there. I thought this all may be linked to her having a 15 month old brother who's started walking and talking and that maybe sibling rivalry has kicked in? How can I build her confidence? I do praise her alot but must confess to telling her off alot at home too as she's very stubborn and tantrumy. Sorry that was really long!
Thanks for your message saltire - as it is probably helpful to other mums if we take a look at what to do when our child behaves like your nine year old and we find ourselves getting cross with them whinging and crying. Someone said to me once that “Behaviour always makes sense” so when we find it hard to take our children’s behaviour seriously, it can be helpful to remember that there is probably an underlying need, and we can have a go at working out what that is and addressing it. So with your little boy, what would you say is the need behind his behaviour when he is crying and whinging? What about when he is angry and hitting out? What does he know about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in your family? Feelings come into this too. For example, it’s OK to feel angry or jealous, but it’s not OK to hit your brother. What could he do if he feels angry that would be OK for you? If he knows what the rules are, then you always have something to refer back to. Funnily enough, parents often find it easier to stay calm too if the rules are clear. . It’s extra tricky if we are not in a good place ourselves to do this. We are more likely to be cross and irritable if we’re too tired or stressed or in need of attention ourselves! What can you do to try and keep yourself calmer when you can see his behaviour escalating? When you see him making some progress, however small, in controlling his anger, it’s great to point that out – behaviour that is commented on, good or bad, is the behaviour that’s likely to get repeated, so be on the look out for any signs of improvement and tell him what you notice. Finally, do you ever get a chance to spend some time with him on his own? Could you find some time for the two of you to do something enjoyable together? What would it be? I hope that’s of some help to you Saltire – what do others think?
Hmmm, thanks for reminding me of this Judy - i had to keep a journal last year when i was having my head shrunk. It was full of control-freak attitudes of mine which contributed to me giving my partner a hard time 24/7.
I think i tend to blow up when im desperate for daughter to just go to bed/sleep and let my evening begin or when theres something in the back of my mind that im worrying about i.e. tomorrow we have to go and sign a massive loan at the bank...so have underlying stresses that arent even to do with the kids...
Hi Saffy1. Wow you sound so rushed off your feet and I imagine there are lots of other mumsnetters who feel like you as well. Mums are experts at overfilling the hours in the day and lurching between work, children and home commitments without coming up for air. Your husband is around to help out, but it sounds like you’re doing the lion’s share and ending up exhausted which is no good for you, and those you love. It’s great that you want to get some help though, and imagine how you want to run your life, rather than dwelling on how it really is at the moment.
You cover quite a lot of areas in your message, so in order to try and work out how to move forwards and make your life better, it would be great to list the major areas of your life – e.g home, work, kids, me, health, finance, time– see if you can come up with about 8. Then, give them each a score out of 10 in terms of how satisfied you are in that area. (10 would mean completely satisfied, nothing to improve on, and 1 would be the opposite.)
That should highlight which area needs the most attention to work on first.
Also, if you made some changes in one area, which would have the most positive effect on you? Is it finding time to get some new clothes, or is it committing to being in bed half an earlier for a week? Lots of Mums are still writing lists as they clean their teeth at night – what is your own bedtime routine like?? Calm and relaxing ? Only you can answer this Saffy! You owe it to yourself to press your own “pause button “ here and take a good look at your life to make the changes you can . Have a go at setting yourself some achievable goals in each area – take a small but positive step and decide when you are going to do each action. Commit to tackling one area a day for the next 7 days and see what that brings and how it makes you feel. Be quite detailed about it, - what is realistic and where in your whole day can you adjust things to find time. You can do this, and there are loads of other Mums out there willing you to get on top of this – go for it !
Hi Malaleche
just wondering if you would fancy making a note over the next few days about what it is that makes you blow up, and when, and how you were feeling at the time. Sometimes it's really helpful to keep a journal like this - make it easy and interesting, not depressing! You can see if any pattern emerges and begin to work on your own pause button... so you can control that outburst. It might be that you notice you're more likely to explode over teatime, or when you have said the same thing 50 times and you're being ignored. Loads of mums find tiredness is the single biggest cause for losing patience and then we end up exploding at the ones we love the most. We've all done this kind of explosion, but instead of feeling guilty, what can you do instead to recognise your triggers? What pushes your buttons, and how can you find your pause button ? Let us know how you get on - you can do it!
Damn - I was hoping you'd have some fabulous idea re early waking. Will take your advice and go to bed myself so I'm nice and alert for Cbeebies at 6am.
Hi to those with early wakers...
It's really tedious this one for most of us! The good news is that it WILL pass , but right now, I am guessing you have done the usual things such as decent black out curtains ( one mum I know put tin foil over the windows which helped HER get another hour in bed) Also, a few books and toys in the cot or bed can distract them for a bit. The reality is some kids just dont need as much sleep, so you might need to brave it out if you think yours might be one of those. In which case, make sure, if at all possible you get a break and dont always have to be the early rising parent too. I know this isnt always possible, but if there is the slightest hope of a lie it - take it! Meanwhile, as we've been saying all evening, see if you can help yourself to get more decent sleep to give you the energy to be up with the larks..
This is for Trinityrhino and saltire
I was hoping we would get a message including the word Guilt because it’s such a big feeling for Mums, and such a waste of our energy! TrinityRhino, you are doing an amazing thing here, trying to work out how to deal with your difficult feelings around your daughter’s sensitivity and need for your attention. When you think about your daughter, what feelings would you like to have more of? What do you really love about her? What makes her special? Recognising all the good things about your daughter will help you to cope with her when she is annoying you. When you feel guilty, focus instead on your answers to those questions instead of what you find annoying about her.
It sounds like she does need a lot of your reassurance, and I’m wondering if she is picking up on your reluctance to give her attention which is why she is still constantly asking for it. As you say, ignoring her tears didn’t help, but in trying to be sympathetic, it’s taking it’s toll on you. It might help to give her some clear signals about when you can spend time with her. A mum I coached with a similar situation decided to say to her daughter “The washing machine needs emptying and after that I can do a jigsaw with you before tea time” and her daughter then offered to help unload the machine so they had more time on the jigsaw – a win win! Another thing you could try is when you put her to bed this week, see if you can come up with a different way to tell her why you love her for the next seven days .. You are not alone TrinityRhino and good for you owning up to how you feel and being prepared to make some changes yourself – what a great mum!
Hi to those of you who have asked about coaching. It is a very positive and pro active way to tackle all kinds of issues, and yes, I have coaching too as there's always something I want to work on otherwise I'll just carry on getting what I'm getting. As you know, we're all busy and knackered and so finding a way to come up with our own solutions to anything is really empowering. I believe we get in the way of having the kind of life we want or being the kind of parent we want to be, so coaching focuses on solutions, not problems and It's not therapy or counselling. I absolutely love my job, so if you're interested, visit my website and you'll see that the first coaching session is free!
www.parentingpeople.co.uk
Judy, any thought on how to deal with an almost 3 year old who just flatly ignores me (when I ask her to do something, or even say hello!), or says "ok" and then does nothing?
I try to make sure I hve eye contact etc before talking
Hi Judy,
I'm hoping that you're going to answer Trinityrhino and Saltire, because oddly enough they have both asked exactly the questions that I was just going to post about!
Thanks judyreith for the advice, I feel it is really helpful to come up with such positive strategies. I will e-mail soon for book details. Off for a better nights sleep
Hi Lulumama
Did you know that in the eyes of a first born child, the worst thing we do to them is to have the second child? And we do it for the best of reasons - to give them a friend to play with, someone to grumble to about their parents etc etc.. however, you are right when you say that the older one is bound to feel jealous after having had you to himself for 6 years. Jealousy is OK, but it's how he is dealing with it that is important. it's great you make time to be on your own with him and I would help him to talk about his feelings. YOu could say something like " I expect you wish your sister would go away sometimes so we can be on our own more " in other words, helping him to describe what he's feeling can be a huge relief. It's so hard when you're doing the lion's share of everything, and it's vital you find time for YOU too. You are the glue of the family here , so if you are exhausted it will be much harder for you to pay attention to what you need to do here. What would be a treat for you this week that you could arrange? you're worth it!
Judy - question for you ! How do you sort things out when it all gets too much... i presume that even as a life coach, you cannot always get through the day in the best way possible...who coaches you ?
Hi Taylormama – work work work/baby baby baby /house /house /house = no energy and probably lots of stress. It sounds like you’re too tired to even start trying to sort out what to tackle first to get some balance here. I’m wondering what you would feel like if you could sort the tiredness out first? What kind of an impact would that have on you and your partner? Would it be worth having a chat with him about sharing the housework load? How would life be different for you if you decided to do less housework and instead, invested in half an hour of winding down before bedtime and relaxing in a warm bath and reading a book or magazine? What would work for you? The housework will always be there, but your energy levels and your relationship need prioritising here. Go for it – you’re worth it!
Hi VenividyVicky
My favourite sleep tips are...Making time for you to wind down before bed is what all the sleep experts recommend for a decent night’s sleep. The sleep council recommend.. about half an hour before bed, have a warm bath and a milky drink (no caffeine), avoid a big meal late at night too. Turn the heating down (also good for the planet) and make your bedroom as dark as possible. Some people benefit from using essential oils – a few drops of lavender or camomile on your pillow for example. Does this appeal ? Would it be worth trying it for a week so you can measure the difference? If your partner is keeping you awake (one third of us find this a problem...) then sometimes a night apart can make all the difference and the sofa becomes very appealing!
How can I show my children (10 and 6) that I think the world of them. What is the best way to prise without making them over-confident in their abilities?
I am always being told how lovely they are, well behaved and polite (parents evenings for example) when I expect them to be like this and don't feel I should to say well done for being 'nice' and 'kind' and setting a 'good example to others'.
They can be naughty, but generally not infront of anyone except me.
Hi musiclover and catastrophe
Hope it's ok to post both of you, as you both would love to stop shouting. Sounds like there's lots of shouting going on and not much listening. I bet there is only a handful of mums in the world who have never shouted at their kids, and lots of parents want to stop shouting.How would you like to be able to communicate with your children? what do you want more of and what do you want less of? You need to believe you can get through a whole day ( or hour or half day) without raising your voice and communicating clearly and calmly with your children so they have something worth copying. I would encourage you both to focus on what you do well as a Mum, what you love about your children and see if you can all agree a "no shouting " day with a reward at the end of it. Keep going, I'm sure you're doing brilliantly.
How do you get them to sleep past 530am? My elder ds did it and now the 15mo is doing the same. I don't know if I can last until 2.5 years which is when the eldest started sleeping past 6am
Hi there flamesparrow– you’ll probably see there’s a common thread here tonight like you – too much going on and not enough time left for you at the end of the day, and your daughter has picked up on your busyness too. This is not about you needing to feel guilty – this is about taking a good look at all the big areas in your life and working out how to make some positive changes and what support do you need to do that. If you could make some changes in one area, which one would have the most positive effect on your daughter? There is a lot here already on mum’s losing patience and tiredness is usually the reason. However, one step at a time can make a huge difference so what will you do first? Give it a go…
Hi Collette – there are two things here – ways to tackle your worries or what will help you get a better night’s sleep? I hope it’s OK with you if we tackle the sleep issue first. Getting a good night’s sleep is vital for us to be able to function well the next day, and research shows that having a good wind down routine can be a big help – just like we do with our kids – most families find that bathtime/story/bedtime routine helps settle their kids, and we need our own way to wind down too so our mind relaxes. Our bodies are usually really knackered, so it’s how to shut our minds off that matters! If you are worrying in the night, it can help to jot down what those worries are, and tell yourself you’ll deal with it in the morning. If you’re still awake after 20 minutes, get up and make a warm milky drink and read or listen to music until you feel yourself getting sleepy. Give it a go and what tips do other Mumsnetters have?
In terms of your children squabbling it can help to think about what IS good about their relationship and what you want to see more of. With sibling squabbles it depends what level is going on. I think of it like a thermometer - Cool – (e.g just bickering) Try and encourage them to sort it out on their own and come and tell you when they have found a solution.
Warm – listen to both sides and see what suggestions they have and if they can’t agree then suggest they play separately for a while.
Hot – someone is really hurt (words or fists involved!) so go and separate them. Everyone needs to calm down before you can help them sort out the problem. With your son, again, it’s important to be clear what the rules are in terms of boistrousness (is that the word!)
I believe their relationship is NOT a measure of what kind of a Mum you are. I am sure you are doing the best you can, and sibling squabbles are really normal and actually can help children deal with arguments at school and in later life too. Comment when you can if you notice them caring or sharing with each other too. It’s a big topic Collette – so E mail again and I can recommend some good books for you if you like.
Good evening everyone and welcome to this live web chat with me, Judy Reith , a parent coach, but most importantly a Mum of 3 kids. When my kids were little, I found being a mum the best and worst thing that had ever happened to me, and in sometimes I still feel that way. Kids come without an instruction book, and although it was helpful talking to other Mums (and this was pre-internet days) it was going on a parenting course that really turned our family life round – so much so that I trained to run them myself. Over the years, it has been a fantastic privilege to run courses and workshops for all kinds of parents and now I am also qualified to coach parents one to one too. However, I am not a perfect Mum; I am not the expert on your family. You are.
I am here to cheer you on, and pass on some ideas I have harvested from lots of reading and listening to brilliant parents everywhere, just like you. One of the hot topics for mums is not getting enough good sleep, and I bet you have noticed how differently you feel after a good or a bad night and how it affects your parenting. Did you know that a recent survey showed that 1 in 3 of us would rather sleep alone than with our partners so we can get better sleep? So before we all shuffle off to find our PJs, lets get going and see what’s on your agendas tonight. There’s a lot up already, so if we don’t get round to everyone and you’re still keen, go to go to my website www.parentingpeople.co.uk and I’ll do my best to respond.. Here goes!
I'm really struggling with my daughter (2.9) and son (12 months). My DD is terribly jealous of her brother, and it seems to be getting worse rather then better. She will take every opportunity to push him over and snatch anything he has out of hs hands, even if the poor kid is carrying 'round a sock or something! She seems to be snatching more and more from other children who come to play as well.
She is sucking her thumb more and more, and is more clingy lately, so is obviously not feeling secure.
We have tried a sticker chart, lots of praise, time outs, and ignoring her. Recently I, like many other posters have said, am doing an awful lot of shouting. DD is doing an awful lot of ignoring. This makes me so angry and I shout some more.
Its not the mother I want to be, and our ome is not the happy relaxed place I want it to be.
Any tips on how to deal with the ignoring, the agro towards her brother, and my anger and shoutiness?
I have fallen into the pattern of my own mother (which I hated her for, as a child & still resent as an adult) which is...I get up in the air very easily, shout alot at little things, very easily irritated by my children at the moment. Then I beat myself up about how I have spoke to them. So I feel a vicious circle going on at the moment.
I would love to have a calm approach to things & have more patience with doing things with both of my children.
Thankyou X
Hello Judy!
What do you think of parenting shows such as Nanny911 and Supernanny and do you think the nannies theories and practises on these shows are acheiveable as a busy, rushed parent in the real world?
How do I find time to lavish attention on to my potty training dd (2 and a half) and new(ish)born (3 months) AND keep the house tidy?
Also - I have fallen into the trap of offering a sweet as a reward for wees on the potty, stickers do not seem to have the same pull. We make a fuss and kiss her and phone the GParents each time. How do I wean her off of the sweet reward?
VVV - yours is easy, just assume when he says no he means yes. But delay the response for 10 minutes. (ie do you want a bath ? NO! (Assume he means yes please, but wait 10 mins before attempting to run the bath for the idea to really gel..) It's so infuriating..my ds was particulary bad (good?) at this. He was like Andy in Little Britain. 'Want That one. Are you sure? Yes..... Dont wannit.''
Hi, I'm new to the site so hope I'm doing this right!
My husband and I have 3 little boys (5, 2 and 8 months). The older 2 fight alot and it is driving me mad. I try to give each their own time but with a baby too it's proving hard. I also suffer from an arthritic condition so have bouts of pain and fatigue.
How can I help them to like eachother?! They can get on but seem to be going through a bad patch - the oldest seems to take great pleasure in making the middle one cry and lash out which upsets me as he's not like this with anyone else. Any ideas? Thanks, Loudj
By AbbyMumsnet on Mon 19-Mar-07 17:57:58
(from MNHQ)
(Was just teasing about the being stroppy re the live events thread you started the other day)
By AbbyMumsnet on Mon 19-Mar-07 17:12:19
(from MNHQ)
I wasn't being stroppy (VVV, what are you suggesting?) I just was having one of those days when I was trying to do too many things at once and posted completely the wrong thing on this thread instead of another one! So I deleted myself.
Very interested in this because I have been thinking about consulting a life coach for some time. I have so many issues about my own parenting skills I don’t know where to start. I have two children at primary school. I gave up a good career to be a SAHM and I just don’t feel I’m doing a good enough job. I shout too much at everyone, am inconsistent with discipline, let them watch far too much rubbishy TV, can never think of anything interesting to cook for their tea -- one is a very fussy eater. And all too often I take refuge in the computer when I know I should be interacting with my kids. At times it really gets me down. Is this something life coaching could help me with, or do I need a shrink??! What do you think Judy?
Actually, DP would like me to ask you how you stop the same 4 year old from waking him up Every Single Day, at whatever time she feels like getting up (could be 5.30am, could be 7am). She wont ever come to me unless DP is not there, but, more importantly, she wakes up so so early, and will not stay in her room or allow him to carry on sleeping.
Im sure popsycal could do with some advice here....
Question(s) for me though:
How do you deal with a 4 year old, who will shout "No" at simple requests/questions, and then when you 'accept' the "No" as a response, they then have a tantrum because they do actually want whatever it is?
The same 4 year old also becomes hysterical (no exaggeration) if she thinks her little brother is in danger, to the point of causing him harm by dragging him back away from things becuase she thinks whatever he is doing is dangerous. How do we try and stop her over-reacting to these things?
Hi. My second baby is due in just under 2 weeks time and I have a little boy who is almost 4 years old. I know this will be a tough time but would be grateful for any tips for making the transition from one to two children a little easier! I have a lovely relationship with my son and do not want to jeopardise any part of that but am realistic enough to know that my time will be pulled in many directions very soon. I do work part time but am currently on maternity leave. Thankyou!!
ooh will try to make the chat but if not, i am a full time working mum with one baby (9.5 months) and a DH who also works fulltime. We seem to have fallen into a cycle of working, working and working and whilst our baby is thriving and wonderful our relationship is a touch neglected. I also seem to do A LOT more housework etc than DH - how can i achieve some balance and not feel utterly exhausted all the time???
Nearly 4 yr old has preschool mornings only, 12 month old home all the time. I am desperately trying to set up the shop, care for children, find my house under the pile of dishes, provide decent meals (DD's behaviour suffers with poor meals), and then by the time I have done all that, it is 10.30pm, I haven't seen my husband, I am tired but want a few mins to be a grown up... so I end up going to bed even later and am then more exhausted... so the cycle continues!!
Anyway... the point I am getting to is... DD (the older child) isn't coping with this very well - she wants my attention (understandably) and I don't have a great deal of time or patience because I am so tired. She has started wetting the bed after a good run of dryness, she is having bad dreams (yells in her sleep about various things at about 9pm each night), and she is generally looking run down and not the happy little girl she used to be I don't know how to balance things to give her enough attention and to give me enough patience not to snap and yell at her like I am all the time lately.
I'll try and get on for the chat, but as you can see by reading that - it might not happen!
How do I stop a 7 1/2 year old DS feeling left out and jealous of 19 month old DD, when she genuinely does need more of my attention....as he can dress himself, entertain himself, play alone if necessary ?
I try really hard to have quality one on one time, but a toddler is , by their nature demanding ! I think part of it is , he was an only child for almost 6 years, so it is a hard adjustment.....any hints?
DH works long hours and family are far away ! So it is me 95 % of the time, splitting myself between kids, housework, and the myriad of other things !
It does put my problems into perspective I must say Fio I could sort my two out if I wasn't such a wussy...
Did you pop along here to check what zippi was onabout too?
Judy - I have a really short question which I'm sure takes a lot longer to answer (or I'd have thought it up myself!) - How on earth do you keep a 2.5 yr old in bed in the morning??? If you can answer this all my sleep problems will be solved...
My daughter is 7 years old and has severe and complex learning difficulties. She hasnt slept through since she was born. We use melatonin to help her 'get off' to sleep but when she wakes, she doesnt know the difference between night and day.
I am ageing by the minute. Does Judy have any good advice for me?
Hello Judy, can you advise me where I can even begin to persuade a clingy but also assertive 3.5 year old to stay out of our bed at night? Dh and I have probably not had an unbroken night's sleep in eight years (did I mention ds, 7, usually wanders in to join the slumber party at around 5am?) and both work outside the home. We are in our early 40s and both look freshly dug-up at the moment Both of them trot out the line "but mummy we love and miss you so much, we just want to kiss you both all night" when we try to discuss this in a reasoned manner, the little weasels.
As you may have gathered we are not a CC, or a door-securing sort of family It's affecting the children too I am sure they need more sleep than they are getting.
Since having my second baby (3 months)(I also have dd1 who's 3) I don't seem to find a minute to sit down and when I do I just can't relax and feel guilty that I'm not doing something.The list of things to do seems endless. Even when I'm watching tv, I am writing lists for the next day or ironing. AT night i find it hard to sleep because I'm fretting over getting behind with all the chores.My husband gets so cross because when dds are in bed he wants us to chill out and relax together and watch tv or open a bottle of wine but I find it hard to do this with him. It's affecting our relationship and I know I'm gettig more and more tense and argumentative -which I think is partly due to the fact I get so little sleep. Will things get easier?
I am in desperate need of some advice on how to organise and calm family life with 3 young children in preparation for the arrival of twins in September/October.
I feel that in order to be able to 'cope' when they arrive I need to establish an element of calm and order well in advance! I currently have a 5yo, a 2.9yo and an 11 month old.
I would like some advice on how to combine work and family life with more success. Since my youngest child started school I've been working full-time and use the school's after school and breakfast club for child-care. The children do enjoy this although I appreciate it is a long day for them. They do seem to resent me working though and I constantly feel guilty for choosing to go back to work. They often moan to me about me not picking them up from school and my youngest daughter is always asking me when I'm going to stop working - although i've told her this isn't going to happen.I love my job and on one-hand have been much happier and more fulfilled since starting back at work but I am constantly feeling guilty because I know they'd prefer me to be at home and at the school gate each day. Any suggestions?
By AbbyMumsnet on Mon 19-Mar-07 11:39:20
(from MNHQ)
Hello Judy. I have 3 primary school aged kids, work part-time as a freelance designer, so fit my work in around the kids and don't have any childcare. On the one hand this is great but it does mean that I'm constantly on the go. I never seem to get anything done to the best of my ability and feel both the kids and work suffer because of this. I often end up working late into the night and then rushing about in the morning trying to get the kids to school. My husband does help - a lot at the weekends -but works long hours so just isn't around to give much more help during the week. My house is a mess and there's constantly a backlog of washing. Furthermore I look a mess! I dream of having time to shop for some new clothes or even get my hair done but these things invariably are bottom of the list. How can I organise my time better so I don't feel like I'm constantly running around like a head-less chicken?
I could do with some advice on how to deal with my almost 9 year old. He cries very easily, and goes off and sits in a corner crying over silly things - like his brother turned over the TV, or switched off the CD he was listening to. He will then cry for a while , real sobbing , then go and wallop his brother and before I know it they are hitting each other. He also seems unable to cope with his anger, he lashes out very easily if someone or something annoys him. he has hit my childminding children before simply because they happened to be in his way. I find myself getting very cross and annoyed with him because of the constant crying and whingeing, and hitting but I don't know how to deal with it and make him and I happier people.
I would like help with my relationship with my 6 yr old. she is very snesitive and cries easily which I am finding hard to have the patience for. I used to tell her to stop crying but reqalised that was ridiculous so now try to be sympathetic. I am ashamned to say that I fond it hard. Also she constantly wants to sit really near me and keeps saying'can you put your arm around me'. I KNOW that she is asking for more affection and attention but or some reason I find it anoying and I KNOW that I'm not doing my best with her. I had severe PND after she was born. I find her draining and hard work, she is bright and constantly asks questions but also constantly needs reassurance of everything she is doing. watch this, look at this... when all she is doing is jumping down the last 2 stairs or something. It's constant, I find it hard to be enthusiastic and I knwo I need to change.....how do I stop feeling like I just want her to shut up and stop bothering me constantly. I ffel very guilty about this.
I would really like some advice on how to stop my 3 year old ds and 8 year old dd squabbling.
Dd tends to "overpolice" ds and he can be a bit rough with her. He is very boisterous and she is oversensitive . They fall out so much it is really getting me down and part of the reason I think that I can't sleep now!
Not sure if this is quite relevant to the opening post
By AbbyMumsnet on Sun 18-Mar-07 18:43:06
(from MNHQ)
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By AbbyMumsnet on Fri 16-Mar-07 15:09:59
(from MNHQ)
For those who are keen to know a bit more about Judy Reith, take a look at her website: here . Do send in your questions - it'd be get some in advance of the on-line chat.
Rachel
By AbbyMumsnet on Thu 15-Mar-07 14:49:03
(from MNHQ)
Bump
By AbbyMumsnet on Wed 14-Mar-07 18:23:52
(from MNHQ)
Message deleted
By AbbyMumsnet on Wed 14-Mar-07 17:00:03
(from MNHQ)
On Monday 19th March, from 9-10pm, we'll be hosting a live chat with parenting coach, Judy Reith. New research by Horlicks shows that many women can't remember the last time they had a good night's sleep, so Judy will be offering tips on how to organise your life so that you can fit in enough quality sleep and have more energy for the demands of family life. If you can't make the chat you can post your questions in advance here.
