Mumsnet Talk

I am not having any tea now after The Most Recent Incident <--that one is for sick btw...

Background- dd2 is severely autistic with learning disabilities, and, er, bowel issues. Aged nine.

Was on mumsnet and watching Eggheads (I could take Kevin, if anyone's interested), and could hear dd2 giggling and playing in the hall and landing. Confident that other doors were locked, I left her to it, thinking I'd give her fifteen minutes or so before I bathed her. Eggheads finished, I opened the livingroom door to the most overwhelming stench of SHIT coming from upstairs, and saw dd2 lying at the top of the stairs chewing what looked like a binbag.

I try to pull it out of her mouth, hoping she hasn't swallowed too much, then I look past her and see two enormous (think cowpat) lumps of soft poo on the carpet, a big plastic postal bag which looks like it's been used to wipe the poo up, and a brown leather pouffe I didn't recognise . Which, on closer inspection, is plastered in shit too.

Then I remember that this morning I accepted a large parcel from John Lewis for a neighbour, which I'd left by the front door [heartsink]

I have cleaned it up, but it's probably watermarked or something- I literally had to sluice the stuff off under the shower attachment, and nailbrush faeces out of the tiny grooved swirl pattern embossed into the leather.

Nobody is in next door yet to explain. I have had to throw the packaging out.

On the plus side, dd2 is clearly no longer constipated

So, if it is water-marked etc, do I have to pay for it? I didn't sign for it, but parcel man noted where he'd left it, and I don't want to get him in trouble.

OMG!!! dont know what else to say

"On the plus side, dd2 is clearly no longer constipated" I'm sorry but i almost spat tea all over my laptop at that one

Sorry no usefull advise though

I don't think you can possibly hand it over - the shit in the embossed swirls will be there forever . All I can think of is that it's an insurance claim. Are the neighbours nice and understanding sorts?

might it be covered by house insurance? Poor you, poor neighbour! Hope they will be sympathetic but they would be saints if they don't want it paid for.

Oh dear me.

(typed oh shit at first, then thought better of it )

Are you going to tell them what happened? (psst - I wouldn't)

Think you best pay a visit to the John Lewis website, poor you what a way to round off your day

Think you should 'come clean' to the neighbour about the leather 'stool' if I was you.

I am hoping that I can get away with saying it was a split drink. A poo-scented one.

Well done for looking on the bright side "on the plus side, dd2 is clearly no longer constipated"

Wait till it dries before you decide what to do? If it looks fine take it to your neighbours and apologise for it having been accidentally unwrapped by your dd. If not, I guess you could offer to pay, and if they're kind, they'll be nice and understanding and refuse your offers.

You will have to tell them you accepted a parcel which your child opened and ruined and you will order them another one tomorrow. There is no other option.

I think that you should phone John Lewis, explain exactly what happened and see if their customer is as good as everyone says!!

My money is on them sending a replacement one to the neighbours and telling you to do what you like with the, er, 'damaged' one.

ROFL @ 'stool'

Yes, phone JL and explain

Could you afford to replace it?

In your position (finances permitting) I would explain to the neighbour that something had been "spilt" on the item or it has been very badly damaged and it is ruined.

If neighbour asks for further details shred it up and give her a few cleanish bits to inspect.

Does she know that your dd has sn? If so perhaps she would be understanding?

I would then buy an identical replacement asap. If it is horrendously expensive then I would claim on insurance (my own).

oops that should say 'customer service'

Thing is, if it was damaged in transit, would be covered by insurance, right?

So, I would call John Lewis tomorrow and tell them that your child has been quite sick lately, and unfortunately was ill all over the package, what a shame, couldn't possibly hand it over to neighbor in that state, oh dear etc.

And pretend not to be in until resolved

Oh yes worth a try with JL I would say.

Would nobody just hand it over with a wry grin and hope for the best then?

I can just imagine another post tomorrow -"Nightmare incident with parcel left at neighbours"...

Lob it on the pavement outside and claim a dog must have done it

OK - I'd go for damage limitation - just looked on John lewis site pouffes are £99 - but it also says 'specialist dry cleaning' I think I'd offer to pay for the dry cleaning, and see if they are happy with that. Are they friendly neighbours?

At worst you will have to buy another, but your DD will get to keep the damaged one.
JL should have made sure it was delivered to neighbours - I'd also try getting them to replace it.

OMG

you are just going to have to buy a new one

sorry

don't accept parcels again!!!

icky

Or wrap it in another bin bag, and hand it over saying nothing. They're not likely to come back and say 'excuse me did you happen to get shit on our pouffe'

it was have an invoice so you can see exactly which one it was