Mumsnet Talk

These are hilarious!

The dance parent who was upset that her DD only had one costume and someone else had six.

That would be because her DD was three and only did ballet, and the other girl was 18, did four subjects and was in her final shoe before uni, where we like to stick them in as much as possible!

Or the parent who asked finer child could have mince pies and cola as a snack as she didn't like rich tea biscuits and water. Messy food near expensive costumes? I think not. They were only in for two hours, she wouldn't starve.

Lara2 You've just reminded me of the parent who ticked 'no' on the photographs form.
We had a class event so I took photographs and made sure he wasn't in any that appeared on the school website

The father phoned the head and accused me of having a grudge against his son because all the other children's pictures were online.
When the head explained why he said that I was stupid and should have realised that it was fine to put his picture up in this particular instance - he wanted to report me t the GB for discriminating against his child.

Some of these really do make you think people should have to pass an exam in common sense before being allowed to have children

Parent who ticked the 'No' option on the standard form giving (or not!) permission to take KS1 children out and about in the local area ( you know the type of thing, geography, history type things) because " When we drop them off at school we expect them to be here and learning, we don't want to find they've been taken out of school" - to do what exactly? Perhaps we're skipping off on jollies, browsing in the local shops and eating ice cream?

Teacher friend asked by dad to counsel student as he he seemed very depressed. A few days later dad rang to say whatever he says it's not true

I was only in nurseries/schools during my training so didn't come across too many incidents & didn't have to deal with them myself but I do remember one occasion in a nursery where a mother seemed to think the staff were being ridiculous & deliberately awkward. At this nursery they were very keen to take the children on regular trips to the forest. Each group got to go on a fortnightly basis & the parents were always reminded the day before. One day a mother chose to ignore the dress code of long trousers & wellies & turned up right before we were due to leave with her DS in shorts & sandals. It was pointed out to her that these trips had been a regular fixture in the timetable since her DS had started 8 months previously & she was well aware of the rule that children had to be appropriately attired & on time to be able to participate. She insisted that he should be allowed to go to the very muddy forest in the middle of tick season in his shorts & sandals because where she's from (Somalia, IIRC) children run around barefoot & most of them are fine! I must admit I just stared at her open mouthed & was very impressed by the very calm teacher nodding sympathetically & saying, "Yes, but we do have our rules and we'd get in to trouble if he slipped or caught Lyme's disease after we'd taken him & ignored our risk assessments. Unfortunately we don't have time to find spare clothes for him now but if you can make sure he's got the right clothes on next time & gets here in plenty of time we can take him then."

smelling clothes:
My ds old teacher (who I knew quite well) told me that when she had an unnamed jumper, she would ask the children whose it was. The kids would smell it and say 'oh it belongs to xx miss' They were always right!!!

Not naming clothes - I have just taken home, washed and added to the PTA second hand uniform stash, 12 school sweatshirts without any type of mark in at all. They all have a white label with a space marked name__________ how much effort does it cost to pick up a biro???

Complaint to head about a Teaching Assistand friend as she had very wisely IMHO laminated a little list of things the disorganised SEN secondary student had to make sure he had in his bag to bring to school everyday i.e. pencil, pen, ruler, homework diary etc.
She punched a hole in the laminated ticket and attached it with a treasury tag to the inside of his bag.
This resulted in mum's angry phone call to head next morning saying she was labelling her child. She had to remove tag.
Mum very happy for TA to contribute to form two weeks later for disability living allowance though.

I teach design and spent 10 years working as a designer. I once had to endure a lecture from a plumber about how he knew all about design and his son was underachieving as I knew nothing. The fact that his ds was bone idle was ignored...

Love that Matilda. I forgot the parent who waited ages at parents evening and had SLT running around trying to find me (parents get a desk and we walk round, no appointments). He was most put out to be told that I didn't teach his child so he had waited for nothing (he'd already seen his child's actual History teacher). He insisted that I sit down and talk about his child - so I gave him a report on last year and he went away happy enough.

Also took a complaint from a parent and it took us both a while to realise that not only did I not teach his son but he wasn't even at our school!

Parent phoned upset that I had called the class pathetic. I explained that I had said they were being 'apathetic' period 1 on a Monday morning and had to metaphorically crack the whip . Had to dash and teach so breezily said I hoped that cleared the confusion up but I could tell from the silence at the end of the phone that she didn't know what 'apathetic' meant & I later regretted using the phrase 'crack the whip'!

This is absolute gold!

I'm sorry, but WHO doesn't name their DC's clothes? Seriously? It doesn't need to be a rocket science affair using a needle and thread, just permanent marker on the label!

I'm not a "label the socks, vest and pants" person (ok, sometimes but I know that's perceivable as crazy!!!) but come on- smell? Smell your DC's jumper? That's mental!!!

I love this thread! Really hope I won't be one of those parents when my dd (pfb) starts school in 2016. It also makes me nervous about some if the parents I'll be meeting at the school gates!!

Ah, the old 'personality clash'. Er, no, I am trying to teach your child (alongside 29 others). I am not trying to be their mate.

I especially like it when you get a big song and dance about how you have lost it, how terrible you are etc and then next lesson it is sheepishly brought out of the bag with no apology or even acknowledgement that they were in the wrong.

Hmm the amount of stuff I have hiddenor lost would probably fill an aircraft hangar now

If only teachers had enough time in the day to deliberately lose children's homework.

I'd have to have a separate planner just to keep note of all of the children I supposedly 'pick on'. Perhaps that is why teaching is such a time consuming job? We are all spending our PPA time thinking up new ways to annoy parents and make children's lives miserable.

Honestly though, when you get a bonkers complaint in it can create much mirth in the staffroom, but only if you are in a school with supportive SLT.

I have parents who come to me in the morning to say that I am not allowed to keep their darling in at playtime to do their homework because it was their fault. (i give them a full week to do two pieces).

I once had a parent complain when I had kept her son in that he had done it and handed it in, the boy when asked again in front of me confessed that he hadn't handed it in after all and had lost the homework diary in question. He promised to have a good look at home.
The next morning grandma came in furious that I had "fobbed mum off with a load of bollocks", she knew he had done it because she did it with him. I politely told her that I didn't doubt that but it was not handed in. She continued to shout at me and told me he had no reason not to hand it in therefore I must have hidden it

Poppy I don't know weather to laugh or cry!

So many of these are familiar. A few of my own favourites from 10 years in the classroom:

1. Teaching at a school at the other end of the country to my home town, a parent complained that because I had a different accent to her child he felt inferior. Apparently the fact that I didn't drop my aitches was the root of the problem.

2. The mother who rang up at 3.23 (school finishes at 3.15) to complain that I had confiscated her child's can of pop when he opened it mid-lesson and refused to put it away. Apparently when he got it back at the end of the lesson it was flat and she wanted me to refund him the 50p so that he could get a new one. I could hear the lad shouting to his mother and she just repeated it down the phone to me. Had to transfer her to HOY after 30 minutes of circular argument.

3. Parents who requested a meeting because they didn't want their child learning about 'darkies' in RE (this meant studying Islam). Banged on about removing their child from the lesson, which is allowed. When told that they would have to make arrangements to pick him up and drop him back 50 minutes later, they suddenly had less of a problem with the curriculum.

4. Letter from parents explaining that they had not allowed their child to do a piece of homework (leaflet trying to recruit luddites to the cause) as most luddites would have been illiterate so therefore the homework was not historically accurate.

5. Parent at parents evening who asked me to write an essay comparing Hitler to Robert Mugabe so that they could assess whether or not I was intelligent enough to teach their child GCSE History.

6. Parents of a child with 53 behaviour incidents in one half-term (not all in my lessons, btw) who believed that him threatening to hit me over the head with my laptop was a result of a 'personality clash'. They would be appealing his 5 day exclusion as he had only expressed a 'desire' to brain me, not actually done it, and I could have solved the problem by not winding him up (I had refused to unblock the internet in form so that he could play on internet games).

Place marking.

HopingNotToBeOneOfTheseParentsTiggaxx

Love this thread! It brings back memories!