to think this couple are bonkers

(722 Posts)

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

BonzoDooDah Thu 04-Nov-10 00:04:57

Love the cuckoo clock in the kitchen! Have it set something random like an hour and 23 minutes fast too so everyone looks at it when it goes off.

Everyone needs bonkers and they sound like utter loons - marvelous!

Have you thought of serving fish fingers with smiley faces and jelly with icecream for pud?

Cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks hedgehog for canapes?

<<Marks place and goes off to find posh frock for virtual dinner party>>

OHHH you just have to do a pyramid of scotch eggs!!!

And serve them half frozen jubbly style ice pops for drinks or Schloer

oh noo actually make it sarspirella!!

And for main course

Sausage mash and beans BUT dollop the mash on the plate stick sausages in it and put a sea of beans around the edge!!!

onmyfeet Thu 04-Nov-10 01:43:08

Looking forward to the update!

Remember whatever you serve, lot's of wine to wash it down.

jabberwocky Thu 04-Nov-10 02:44:27

How about an all-beet menu?

appetizer - pickled beets

followed by:

beet salad

beet soup

roasted beets

and ending with Chocolate Beet Cake

grin

.

grumpyvamps Thu 04-Nov-10 07:23:51

Hahaha. Very amusing, but tinned soup too obvious.

BANGerskite Thu 04-Nov-10 08:33:12

Have to see how this turns out.

Bookmarking grin

Byblyofyle Thu 04-Nov-10 08:41:43

bump

Psammead Thu 04-Nov-10 09:14:16

They sound hilarious! Who cares if they are swingers? Just a gentle 'thanks but no thanks' if it's not your thing and you can still be friends with them! Off to read the rest of the thread now, sounds like there is more I missed.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 04-Nov-10 09:36:25

I'm afraid there is something very wrong with me. I think most of the menus people are suggesting for a laugh sound quite nice. Except the beet one. And spam trifle obviously.

So funny. Funny peculiar that is.

Dying to hear next installment.

I too thought that it was a joke at your expense but having read about the 2p for Halloween and the turps for Xmas fair I think they are just nutters!

Saw Mrs B in the playground this morning and at the moment it is looking like next Thurs for dinner.

Asked her if there is anything they don't eat and she said 'no, we like everything' and then added 'Oh, Mr Bonkers doesn't eat sauce". My brain quickly starting thinking 'sauce, sauce what does she mean - any kind of gravy, sauce, moisture or does she actually think we might give them tomato sauce or HP sauce?' Of course I should have asked her to clarify but left it too late so am now trying to think of a 'dry' menu.

FFS

BANGerskite Thu 04-Nov-10 10:09:24

Ritz crackers and squeezy Primula

then Supernoodles and chicken nuggets

followed by Angel Delight

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker Thu 04-Nov-10 10:13:43

Perhaps just serve MacDonalds without plates!!

And no pledge or papyrus in your window!!

ScaredOfCows Thu 04-Nov-10 10:15:51

But doesn't macaroni cheese have, err, cheese sauce?

SparklePffftBANG Thu 04-Nov-10 10:23:22

It's like a carry on film...likes a bit of sauce does he??
I'd assume she meant a tomato based sauce but don't know if that is the case. Obv not cheese sauce, and if she meant gravy, she'd have said gravy??

DastardlyandSmugly Thu 04-Nov-10 10:30:39

Please make them a Jelly Salad

DastardlyandSmugly Thu 04-Nov-10 10:33:45

Look I've even found a website that lists 5 (yes a whole 5) reasons for using Jelly:

Five Reasons to Make Your Own Jello Recipes
1) Everybody loves jello.

That might sound like a cliché but it is true. Kids and adults alike can find a delicious jello recipe which appeals to them. Whether you enjoy jello salad, jello mousse or jello cookies, you will love jello recipes. You can even make savory gelatin salads or jello drinks.

2) Jello recipes are easy.

The easiest jello recipe simply involves adding water to jello powder and stirring it. Even jello recipes, which look difficult, are not really. Add some cream, fruit and a couple of other ingredients, allow your jello to set and you have a great dessert all ready.

3) Jello is economical.

Compare the price of a readymade dessert for four people from the grocery store to a package of jello powder. Add some fruit to the jello and buy some cream or ice cream for a topping and you can serve dessert to the whole family for a dollar or two. There are so many flavors of jello, so many jello varieties, and so many recipes for jello that you will not run out of ideas either.

4) As well as being a tasty option, jello can be a healthy option.

If you are diabetic, watching your weight, or just interested in healthy eating, jello is ideal. You can use sugar free jello or regular jello and adding fruit to your jello recipes is another healthy step in the right direction.

5) You can get creative with jello.

Substitute cherry jello for strawberry jello, use ice cream instead of whipped cream or use individual jello molds instead of one big one. The more you work with jello, the more ways you will find to make your jello recipes unique and you can either make simple jello recipes for your family, or more elaborate creations for dinner parties or special occasions.

pottonista Thu 04-Nov-10 10:35:48

Some fine recipe tips here:

http://guyism.com/humor/14-horribly-unappetizing-v intage-food-ideas.html

I particularly liked the 'Sack O' Sauce in a Can O'Meat'.

SarahStrattonsSparkler Thu 04-Nov-10 10:36:58

YY to the Jelly Salad, that is king of bizarre food. And not sauce either. You could base your entire menu around Dastardly's Jelly Salad, with a few tweeks.

I wish I knew this couple!

This is the start of a great Anti - Foodie friendship!

You can outdo yourselves serving strange and mismatched dishes.

Jello is the New Cupcake.

pottonista Thu 04-Nov-10 10:42:00

Also, for starters, you could make Jellied Bouillon with Frankfurters:

http://retrorecipe.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/jellie d-bouillon-with-frankfurters-one-of-many-traumatic -dishes-made-possible-by-jellateen/

Or perhaps a Liver Sausage Pineapple?

http://turkeysandwich.wordpress.com/2007/07/19/yes -its-a-liver-sausage-pineapple/

I think the point is to not make effort.

Hotdogs
followed by
jello

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