what should i do as a muslim about Chrismas?

(14 Posts)
SilverSixpence Fri 30-Nov-12 23:18:09

Salam,
It sounds reasonable for you to spend part of the day with your family on Christmas, can he explain what his issue is with it? In your situation, I would explain how hurtful it is to your family and that you will explain the differences between Christmas/Eid etc to your son as he gets older. Your side of the family are still going to be important to your son and they sound loving and accepting so no reason to exclude them.

Wertrude Thu 29-Nov-12 14:10:36

Hi, I'm also married to a muslim, and I converted myself 2 years ago. I'm having issues with my DH and Christmas.

It was never as issue before ds was born. We would spend it with my family and enjoy it as a time to catch up and enjoy everyone's company. Now that ds is here (born sept), he is suddenly very anti-christmas and doesn't want it to be a part of our lives. I can understand the issue with ds being around my family while they are drinking, and I agree with that, but he doesn't seem willing to even compromise with a short visit on the day etc. My family are willing to compromise by not drinking for a couple of hours while we're there, even though it is THEIR festival. They are very hurt and sad that they can't see their first grandson/nephew on a day that has always been special to our family.

He is too young at the moment but thinking ahead, DH doesn't even want ds involved in family traditions leading up to xmas, such as decorating the tree, helping nanna make the xmas cake/mince pies etc. Also, no presents.

The irony is DH is always going on about how it's important for my family to get involved in Eid now that ds is here, but if we show no interest in their culture and festivals, it is unlikely that they will bother with ours, and I really want them involved.

I feel that as long as ds is raised with a strong sense of identity as a Muslim, and he understands christmas is not our festival, then I don't see the harm in him celebrating with my family. DH thinks I'm being influenced by my family.

I would really appreciate some advice as we are arguing a LOT about this.

Thank you

doublemuvver Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:53

Dungun girl. I too am married to a Muslim guy and he has spend the last 8 christmasses (sp?) with my family who see it a time for family, gift giving etc. Last year he was such a miserable bastard I told him not to come this year. So the kids and I are heading down and now he's making noises about joining us.....My family won't be offended if he doesn't come and tbh I think I'd like a Christmas without him!!
Our kids are Muslim and are quite clear on the fact it is a Christian festival. They do get presents which is probably why they're so excited about it all!! I think we have a pretty happy medium.

giveitago Wed 21-Nov-12 13:49:25

No I was not very much against my mum's faith - I was very much with her faith but also not against the other faiths in my family of which there are a few.

Excuse other post - very stressed and not with it (just been burgled).

If I lived in my dh's country I would have no issues whatsover about ds doing school stuff etc in that faith but would counteract at home with my beliefs which are varied and none.

giveitago Wed 21-Nov-12 13:19:59

You must do whatever you want.

I'd say that as a older lady from a multicultural background these posts mean nothing to me.

I'm from a multireligious background and with no isses back then whatsoever. My parents gave me a background in both faiths. Given we're in UK I did celebrate christmas and was very much against my mum's faith (which is not of the book like yours). I also love diwali etc.

No issues at all from relgiions that are not at all related. And that was 40 years ago.

These days my ds is torn between his df's culture (not my various ones) and mine. Much harder now.

DungunGirl Tue 13-Nov-12 08:38:53

Lighten up is right I say! If it is clear that you making it a 'family day' and you are not celebrating the religious element - so obviously not going to Xmas church service, not singing religious carols around a fire and all that.

My family is as good as atheist...however we grew up having Christmas as a family day and made it the day we gather together for a meal and gift exchanging once a year.

I am having problems now too though.....I married a muslim man who was very relaxed about it all at first, but he fell out with my sister over a religious thing and now he tries everything he can to get out of coming to our Xmas gathering. It breaks my heart as it is the one time a year, I get to see all my siblings and my parents all together in one place. He also makes it hard for me to explain to my mum and dad, who were not 100% about 'allowing' me to marry a muslim in the first place that it is now because of that he does not want to join in anymore. It makes me feel horrible that I convinced my parents that it wouldn't matter that I was converting to Islam as it is a kind and tolerant religion, and that as we are not a 'christian' family, our xmas it not offensive in any way to him/ me now as it is a family gathering.....

Doesn't help my husband is very stubborn and intimidating at times as well...

I don't know what to do...sometimes I think it would be easier to just let him opt out of our xmas gathering...let him stay home alone like he wants. At least that way I won't have the agro of him being negative and then taking it out on me for weeks after.

What would you do if you were in my situation?

Abitwobblynow Wed 24-Oct-12 16:37:20

We receive christmas cards (and know that it is celebrated by) from several muslim families, one of which are descendents of the prophet.

So lighten up, and enjoy.

mathanxiety Fri 29-Jun-12 15:59:01

Why resurrect such an old thread?

jolina Fri 29-Jun-12 15:54:56

My mum likes to force Christmas on me but has never once asked about Eid!
I have played along (as far as visiting my mum around that time, but not as far as 'celebrating' etc) for 3 out of 4 past years but as my daughter is now 3 and I don't want Christmas having any part in her life, I'm calling quits now hopefully.

I have a friend who explained to me what she does as a Muslim mother with children who are in a 90% non Muslim, christmas and easter loving community... she sits down with her children and explains we are Muslims, we have two Eids, we have our own practices and celebrations for Eid, but christmas and easter don't have a place within our lives..

Also birthdays as I am finding again it's my mother who is putting pressure on me as if its the be all and end all - as my cousins don't celebrate their birthdays, so again she is 3 now I am calling quits.

So it's not about oh when in rome do as the romans do. NOPE. When you live in this world, are a citizen of the world who has their own beliefs and culture and practices, its not infringing human rights, you're not hurting people, etc so why would you want to downgrade Eid and celebrate christmas which doesn't even have roots in christianity its actually a pagan festival...

But celebrating it as birthday of Jesus who christian elevate in status to 'son of God' is ABSOLUTELY against Islam

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

"Allah Almighty has said:

‘The son of Adam denied Me and he had no right to do so. And he reviled Me and he had no right to do so. As for his denying Me, it is his saying: ‘He will not remake me as He made me at first’ (1) - and the initial creation [of him] is no easier for Me than remaking him. As for his reviling Me, it is his saying: ‘Allah has taken to Himself a son,’ while I am the One, the Everlasting Refuge. I begot not nor was I begotten, and there is none comparable to Me.’"

(1) i.e., bring me back to life after death.

So you have to think if you are a Muslim who will be accountable in front of Allah you have to think who in your life are you REALLY striving to please?

If you try to please other people they will NEVER be pleased with you. But if you strive to please Allah he will accept you with open arms

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

"Allah the Almighty said:

‘I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed."

maypole1 Tue 22-Nov-11 23:24:10

The last time Christmas was a religious event horse and Carts were on the road.

Just put up a tree have a roast for dinner and give a few gifs it's more a cultural thing just like fireworks night ECt

dina75 Mon 21-Nov-11 20:39:07

I echo you YellowCrocus - we celebrate Eid & Christmas, but both me and DH are athiest. For us Eid & Chrsitmas is a celebration of family and being together and holds no religious value.

YellowCrocus Mon 21-Nov-11 00:13:45

We are an atheist family with a half Muslim half Christian background. We celebrate both Eid and Christmas, I view both if these as much more cultural celebrations than religious festivals. Do whatever you feel comfortable, the more festivities the better IMO. X

KalSkirata Wed 16-Nov-11 22:12:24

do what athiests do? Sort of gift giving and family day?

preciousmum Wed 16-Nov-11 22:09:02

Hi there.
we are a muslim familly very open minded.we practice and we celebrate aids and DC gets presents and party.previously they used to get present in chrismass as well because i was thinking i dont want my kinds to feel they are missing out,specially when they go back to school and their friends are talking about their chrismass presents.But this year i decided to stop the christmass present and make it clear that aids's gift is what they get as that is what we celebrat,so we can keep it special to us.
DC know what is chrismass for and what aid is for.
they still will sent their christian friends and nighbours cards wiching happy chrismass,and take part in the school party.iam happy with that.
Has any one been in same situation?what do you think?
Many thanks.

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