Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

(991 Posts)
bakingtins Sat 02-Aug-14 10:39:37

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Justonemoretime Sat 02-Aug-14 10:44:22

Thanks for the new thread, Baking. On my phone so will update properly later. smile

JBrd Sat 02-Aug-14 13:24:28

Thanks for the new thread!

Well, here are my depressing stats...

JBrd: 42, 1 DS, ttc for 2 years, 4MCs (3 in 2013, 1 in 2014); 2/4 due to chromosomal abnormalities, all other tests (NHS) clear so far... Tentatively ttc again atm (yeah, right, who am I kidding grin)

bootles Sat 02-Aug-14 16:58:50

Thanks for new thread baking

coco, baking puts it how I meant it smile x

Aged 40
2011 - DS
2012 - MMC
2013 - tfmr, many problems found at 12 wk scan, poor to no prognosis. ? cause, normsl chromosomes
2014 - MMC, T22
2014 - MC 8.5 wks, awaiting results on chromosomes

Recently found to have exaggerated clotting response in pregnancy, not cause of no.3, unlikely to be cause of no.2

Currently considering NK route vs just ttc again.

Justonemoretime Sat 02-Aug-14 18:01:34

Here are my stats:
Age 38
MMC Nov 2011 (hb at 6 wks, gone at 7)
MMC May 2012 (hb at 6 wks, gone at 7)
MMC June 2013 (at 13 wk scan, bb 10 wks - hb at 9.1 wks) cause: Turners syndrome.
Local tests all OK June 2012, St Mary's tests all OK and septum removed Oct 2013, Coventry NK tests March lower end normal. Prescribed progesterone from bfp, claxane from 6 wk scan (Coventry) and/or TEG at St Mary's then 150mg aspirin if raised. Currently trying cognitive hypnotherapy, acupuncture and some reflexology...
If all else fails will fill house with kittens.

cocomom25 Sat 02-Aug-14 20:21:34

Thanks for new thread Baking

Thanks all for kind words! You all have a true value in my day to day life.

Age 26
1 ds 6 and 1/2 yrs old 12/07
Depro vera 2008-2011
C/P's every time I try moving forward. I haven't gotten past menstrual since depro. I get allergy reactions during tww. Have not got tested yet still waiting insurance approval.

It looks as though my husband has put me back into the dreaded 2ww. "we have one more day to wait" husband "Ok" (bump in the middle of the night) sorry tmi but MEN!! So you ladies are not alone we can all hold hands.

TinyTear Sat 02-Aug-14 20:55:00

Hello

40 years old (for a few more weeks)

2010 - 3 MCs at 10, 6 and 8 weeks. Two natural one erpc
2011 - tests at St Mary's come back normal
Jan 2012 - daughter born
2013 - mc4 at 7 weeks, erpc
2014 - mc5 in Feb at 9 weeks. HB seen at 7 ish but dates not matching, measuring 6w
June 2014 - Coventry tests but still waiting for results

bakingtins Sat 02-Aug-14 21:06:39

Age 39

DS1 2006
MC 10 weeks May 2009
Ds2 2010
MC2 8 weeks Sept 2012
MC3 9 weeks March 2013
MC4 9 weeks June 2013

Nothing on NHS tests, mc4 normal chromosomes, tested at Coventry and found to have high NK cells of 16%, treated with prednisolone, clexane and progesterone, leading to successful pregnancy and birth of DD in May 2014.

tannyLoo Sun 03-Aug-14 06:25:24

Sorry I've not posted since getting back. We had an awful day yesterday. One of our cats, Minx has had a habit of sitting in the tumble dryer, and it finally happened that she ended up dying in it. It was so awful to find her, and I'm so upset that she died in such a hideous way. I can't shake the thought of it from my head.

She was the daftest thing, just like Mog, and I miss her so much. Her sister is unphased but I think it'll affect her, as she's the quiet timid one.

Sorry, it's nothing about RMC, but I know you lot understand.

bootles Sun 03-Aug-14 06:47:46

Oh Tanny, so sorry about your cat. I hope in time you manage to remember the happier things about her life, and put the ending to rest x

TinyTear Sun 03-Aug-14 07:19:48

Oh Tanny. So sorry! :-(

JBrd Sun 03-Aug-14 07:46:47

Oh tanny, so sorry to hear about your cat! That must be so upsetting - sending hugs xx

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 09:08:36

Hello,

My story isn't quite the norm for here but here goes!

Age: 34

DC: None

TTC: Five years with no successful BFP before October last year when FC suggested ovulation drugs.

MCs: Two mcs. One at 10 weeks (scan at 9wks showed mmc with empty sac) in January 14. Second one at 11 weeks (scan at 6wks showed hb and slightly smaller baby than normal at that stage, scan at 11wks showed mmc with empty sac).

Medical tests: DH fine. My results mostly normal but infertility caused by suspected (not proven) ovulation dysfunction. Had thyroid, chromosome, autoimmune tested and all clear so mmcs are 'unexplained'.

Current status: TTC again. Currently on 2ww. Taking Letrozole day 2-6, Crinone day 16-28 (and after if BFP), aspirin from day 23.

XxX

JBrd Sun 03-Aug-14 09:35:11

Oh, I'm so cross - we were meant to drive to the coast today, to spend a nice day with DS on the beach. But this morning, I woke up with all the signs of a bladder infection, and yes, it's since then developed into just that angryangry
So DH has taken DS to the play park instead, while I'm sitting here with a hot water bottle, drinking to drink my own body weight in water and herbal tea.

And yes, there is only one cause for my bladder infections (I'm rather prone to them) - they always coincide with ttc and the 'efforts' that go with it. Hmph.angry

Justonemoretime Sun 03-Aug-14 09:58:10

Tanny, I'm so sorry to read about your cat. such an awful shock. I remember when my cat, Machiavelli, was killed on the road and I had to identity him, it was awful and I had flashbacks for days. In some ways his death enabled me to finally let all the grief for everything else come out. So awful for you, I'll be thinking of you sad
JBrd, how irritating angry hope it calms down soon. Cranberry juice?
Waves to everyone. x

tannyLoo Sun 03-Aug-14 10:19:10

Thanks, I was feeling especially raw about it this morning. Really not looking forward to telling ds1, who's away with his dad at the moment.

My stats are:

42, Ds1 born 1999, ds2 born 2012, TTC since Nov 2012, MC Dec 2012 @ 6 weeks, MMC April 2013 @ 11.5 weeks, MC Oct 2013 @ 6 weeks, MC Dec 2013 @ 6 weeks, MC Feb 2014 @ 6 weeks.

All blood tests normal, apart from "slight rearrangement" of one of DH's chromosomes, no tissue tested, tested in Coventry for NK cells, also normal. Diagnosed as "super-fertile".

However, currently 9 weeks pg and taking progesterone, heparin, and prednisolone, having scans fortnightly in Coventry. Next one tomorrow.

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 10:55:16

tanny I'm so sorry to read about your cat. Hugs and sympathy to you. I know you must be heart broken.

Glad you're at 9 weeks though. Will be keeping everything crossed for you these next few weeks and then hopefully you can relax and enjoy being pregnant!

jbrd I hate urine infections. Try to get lots of cranberry juice down your neck.

XX

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 12:43:28

Ladies!!

Have you all heard about the Australian couple who abandoned their Down's syndrome son who was conceived via surrogacy?

Disguising on their part but it's another step back for couples with infertility and reoccurring mc as it will now make it even harder to try the surrogacy route.

I wonder how often the media reports the thousands of couples who use surrogacy to get a child and despite illness or problems they love for a life time?

Also how often does the media report children conceived the normal way with a condition like Down's that are abondonded by their parents?

Can we have a debate???

X

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 12:44:12

Ladies!!

Have you all heard about the Australian couple who abandoned their Down's syndrome son who was conceived via surrogacy?

Disguising on their part but it's another step back for couples with infertility and reoccurring mc as it will now make it even harder to try the surrogacy route.

I wonder how often the media reports the thousands of couples who use surrogacy to get a child and despite illness or problems they love for a life time?

Also how often does the media report children conceived the normal way with a condition like Down's that are abondonded by their parents?

Can we have a debate???

X

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 12:45:41

*disgusting not disguising haha

tannyLoo Sun 03-Aug-14 13:27:09

After fighting for so long to have a baby, I will not be deterred by downs, so I will have the combined test, but nothing more.

My DH has a nephew and niece with cystic fibrosis. They teach you that you can cope with all sorts, awful as it is.

Justonemoretime Sun 03-Aug-14 14:01:51

It really is a terrible story. I tend to agree with Tanny, I have had so many ERPCs and I remember saying to my dad on the eve of the first one that I didn't know how someone could go into that operating room knowing that their baby was still alive and go through with a termination.

But since then I've lost a daughter to Turner's syndrome, which kills 97% of girls who have it (it's a missing chromosome) but 3% do survive and can live up to about 3 years of age (I think the oldest might have lived to 8). It really got me thinking about what I would (could) do if I knew that the baby had a life limiting condition. I don't consider Downs to be necessarily life limiting, I mean the kind of condition that leads to a painful death shortly after birth, like Anencephaly (where the brain or skull are seriously malformed or absent), or when another organ or body part is missing or seriously malformed (like the liver or diaphragm, which I have heard of happening). I really don't know what I would do, in that case. In a way, I was 'lucky' that my turner's baby died and I didn't have to make that choice, but I can't pass judgement on those who would terminate for those kinds of reasons.

Some also consider their existing DCs who they don't want to make 'carers' for the long term (although aren't we all carers in families at some point, so I have slightly less sympathy with that position).

The problem is that there is a slippery slope, and once you allow/permit some terminations, it can be seen as more difficult to draw the line. And no-one would want all the problems that go with back-street abortions etc.

Is scanning per se a good thing, since it gives us this kind of information on which to make these kinds of decisions? Female abortion (and abandonment and infanticide) are big problems in India and China because of the ability to scan the unborn. More and more 'defects' can be picked up on scans and tests, and there is an argument that, if you can prevent people from being born with these problems, you are doing them a favour. But if this is used to justify terminations for cosmetic or 'non-life limiting' conditions, or even gender, have we abused the technology? If so, ought it be used at all? So, 'Boo' to scans!

Conversely, we are the recipients of reassurance scans, which Prof Regan and others do say helps with preventing MC, because TLC of RMC sufferers does seem to have a positive impact, anecdotally, at least. So, 'Yay' to scans!

Some Christians (and I am sure other faiths and Humanists, and atheists - should have just said people...) such as Joanna Jepson argue that, if we select for perfection in the womb, we are sending a message to the living disabled that they are 'worth less' than 'normal' people. (I hesitate to use the word 'normal', as, really, who is 'normal' anyway?)

The fact remains that people make choices based on their personal circumstances at the time. Sometimes they are selfish, and sometimes they are frightened and oftentimes they are wrong in our eyes. But I can only look after my own moral choices, and, since I can't say what I would do in any given situation, it is hard for me to condemn others.

I would agree, however, that, on the face of it, this Australian couple appear to have made a selfish choice, which I would like to hope that I would not have made.

cocomom25 Sun 03-Aug-14 15:46:39

Hello to everyone!

Tanny sorry to hear about your cat. Hope you remember happier times like others have said. We have an old wives tale about death in our family I'd be glad to pm as not to offend if now is not appropriate timing.

I must say that I don't know the full story of the couple in Australia. However if the child is unborn scans and testing are not always correct. In addition they maybe correct but have no control of quality of life. I say this as my son is yelling at a video game eating a bowl of cereal! Downs is the least of worries in my opinion. I know a college grad who was pre-diagnosed with downs/retardation and mother told to abort. She tells this story every time I visit. I also know a young girl in my neighborhood with downs that does not hinder her leaning ability, nor does she look like a child with downs. I personally would not let downs keep me away from my rainbow baby! If nothing more to think of they will be plump and sweeter longer (per physical and mental state). For those who met children with downs it warms the soul how kind hearted they are by nature.

Catlover2014 Sun 03-Aug-14 17:45:00

Interesting points ladies.

I can't say for sure if I would terminate or not. I'd like to think not but until you're there you just don't know. Thanks for your honesty all.

just hugs to you. What you went through must have been terrible and I know you must carry that extra worry now.

In the case of surrogacy I think you must surely have to be in for a penny in for a pound. Especially as they knew there was a healthy twin in there? How they could take one and leave the other is beyond me. However it's not this story that really interests me SO much. Terrible as that sounds.

I think what scares me is that this will cause more suspicion, outcry and media spectisim towards surrogacy, fertility treatment and international adoption.

As women who are struggling with ttc and mc, the last thing we need to hear is that the few options remotely open to us are being shut down / criticised.

XxX

bakingtins Sun 03-Aug-14 22:38:20

tanny I came on to say good luck for tomorrow, v sorry to hear about your cat - so upsetting sad
jbrd hope you are feeling better.

The story about the little boy with Down's is very sad. The couple wanted to terminate the pregnancy ( don't know if that would have meant the girl twin also - would surely have risked losing her too) but the surrogate refused. To be fair, that is the decision most couples make when there is a chromosome problem diagnosed. I have friends who chose to go ahead when their son was diagnosed with DS - he is a lovely little chap but he has so far had 2 open heart surgeries with more to come, he is still tube fed at nearly two, and he will need lifelong care. I have only sympathy for people faced with that awful decision. It's v harsh to leave him with the surrogate though, she will struggle to get him the sort of care he'd have access to in Australia. Someone posted on the thread that there are basically no people with DS in Thailand, implying they are got rid of (I don't think they were talking about TFMR either) Horribly complicated and sad, presumably they have been through a lot of sadness through infertility or MC to be using a surrogate in the first place.

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