Very sudden miscarriage today. Warning: detailed(32 Posts)
I was I think about 13 weeks pregnant and had not had my 12 week scan yet - it was scheduled for Thursday morning (oh - just realised that's today) . I had a tiny bit of spotting about 10 days ago although haven't been feeling very pregnant if that makes sense for the past couple of weeks so was fretting about the scan a lot and feeling very worried and expecting the worst.
Today I had a tiny bit of pink discharge this morning so put a pad on so could monitor it. Went out for a walk this morning (thankfully am off work on leave this week) and felt a little crampy but nothing major. Lunchtime there was a very small bit of brown blood on my pad. I had a sit down and rested for a bit then suddenly I felt a pop feeling and a massive gush of fluid that soaked my pad, clothes, sofa, carpet etc. I knew right away my waters had gone. Sat on the loo and the blood and clots started 5-10 mins later. Lots of blood and felt like huge clots - I later learned one of these was the sac as it was already gone when I reached hospital. I called my MW and got sent to the EPU immediately - I was there within 45mins of waters going. The blood loss was horrendous - we had no childcare for our 11 month old so DP had to drop me at hospital front door then Park and take DS to wait in the cafe as I didn't want him to be on the EPU. Trying to get from the hospital entrance to the EPU I was literally pouring with blood and clots, doubled in pain and leaving a trail of blood. I had loaded up with 5 night time always pads all at once before I set out but in the 20 mins from my house to the EPU I had soaked through them, my leggings, skirt and coat. A member of the public had to help me get to the EPU as I was a wreck.
The EPU staff were great but it was quite obvious to everyone that my baby was gone. I had to be rushed for an emergency ERPC as they were not able sure that everything was out and the excessive bleeding was a sign my body was trying to expel something. And now I'm in a gynae ward - awaiting seeing a consultant in the morning to find out if was ectopic or molar which they were concerned about.
I've been quite shocked by this whole experience - was shocked to be pregnant in the first place as DS was an IVF pregnancy - but I never expected a miscarriage to be such a very sudden and dramatic experience with such huge sudden loss. I'm so grateful that it started at home and not at work etc. Other than that not really done much thinking or talking to DP - he came for 15 mins tonight but I didn't want him to stay as he had had to drag our little boy out of bed. Am on hourly obs so don't expect to go to sleep tonight. Not sure why I'm posting really - suppose I just wanted to tell someone about what happened today. We hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy and don't plan to tell any family about the mc for various reasons (I'd prefer to avoid the inevitable drama) although I have a good friend I might confide in when I see her in a week or so from now. Physically I actually feel ok now - no pain and only bleeding like a normal period.
Feel awful saying this but I kind of feel relieved it's over - I felt so not pregnant that I've felt sure I'd had a mmc and would be told so at my scan, and it's been on my mind making me worry 24/7. Weird as it may sound, I feel a bit relieved that I'm no longer in limbo - knowing for definite feels better than worrying and wondering if that makes sense.
Sorry this is so long, and really hope it's not distressed anyone. If you got to the end of my post, thanks for reading......
So sorry for your loss and the traumatic way it ended. How are you now? Xx
I'm feeling a lot better today thanks - think I've been in shock the last couple of days, but everything is easier now I'm home and have caught up on some sleep and spent some time with my DS. That 2 weeks of limbo must have been awful run - hope you are recovering ok from your ERPC. I'm very surprised by how little blood there is now - virtually nothing at all. I guess maybe that's a plus of an ERPC rather than a natural mc - everything is removed all at once rather than gradually. Are you finding the same Run? Still very light headed though. They prescribed me iron tablets and I've got to have my iron levels checked in 2 weeks at the GPs.
I've been in touch with my boss by email who has been very understanding - he told me his wife has had a mc before. He's got his PA clearing my calendar for the whole of next week, so it's up to me if I go in at some point, but if I do it will be to a nice quiet week. I think I will probably take it a day at a time, and see how it goes.
What I did find out (only from reading my discharge notes that were being sent to my GP - no one at hospital told me) was that this was a MMC and that although I thought I was 13 weeks pregnant, the foetus had died at 8 weeks. Not sure how I feel about that really - on the one hand, I was carrying a dead foetus for 5 weeks which is hard to get my head around, but on the other hand it makes me feel better to know that the foetus I lost was so early and small (the size of a raspberry at 8 weeks gestation, rather than the size of a plum at 13 weeks). Not sure if this is a rational way of looking at it, but think it is making me feel better to know that this was actually a pretty early mc.
Hope Run and anyone else currently or previously experiencing anything like this is ok, and taking good care of yourselves. The support you've all shown me has meant a lot
How are you feeling today GreatSoprendo ? I hope a little less battered and bruised. Totally understand that feeling of relief. Just had an ERPC myself yesterday after 2 weeks of limbo post MMC diagnosis. My 2.7 year old is also getting me through this one hug at a time.
Hope you manage to take some time out and regroup
I had a mmc at 9 weeks.
Please allow yourself lots of time to recover from the bloodloss, u also need 2 allow time for your body 2 recover from pregnancy, (breasts decrease in size).
How did u sleep?
Pleased to hear you're home but very sorry for your loss
Glad you're back home. Just rest tonight and think about work etc later. G'night.
Thanks so much for lovely comments - they really do help. In the end I didn't get discharged until late afternoon, but have had a hot bath and some beans on toast with my precious DS so the world is starting to feel a bit more normal. Will be getting to bed as soon as DS goes down as have now been up since 7am Weds.
I need to give myself a bit of time to think about what has happened - at the moment all I'm thinking about is the physical effects (blood loss, sore hand from drip, bruised ribs for some reason, sore throat from being tubed for GA) but emotionally I think I'm going to find it hard. Trying to decide what to do about work - I've been on my hols this week (and what a way to spend your holidays!) but am thinking of maybe telling them I won't be in next week. It's a full on job and I can't see me being up to it physically or mentally. On the other hand, work has been a good distraction for me during some bad times in the past. Going to sleep on it.
Thanks again all, and night night for today
So very sorry for your loss.
It all sounds very traumatic & your right it's not a very common thing to happen.
I had a MMC last year & an ERPC. It didn't hit me for quite a few days. Don't underestimate what you've been through. If you're able to get support in RL, take it.
I found MN a god send as well as The Miscarriage Association.
Take care of yourself. X
Hi, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today..I hope you are getting some much needed rest. Xx
So sorry you have been through such a traumatic loss, it must have been very frightening. I'm glad the mumsnet night-owls were around to keep you company. I hope you are soon home in your own bed. You may find it doesn't really hit you emotionally for a few days, you've had a huge physical shock, IME you tend to go into survival mode and it's only later that you start to react emotionally. We're here to handhold whenever you need some support.
So sorry that you have been through this, your story sounds similar to mine. I had no idea how dramatic it was going to be and I'm still in shock I think. I hope you are able to rest today, take care
So sorry for your loss. I had the same thing many years ago. It will take time to recover, but you will. Please let others take care of you until you are back on your feet. Be gentle on yourself, go slowly, cherish the gorgeous child you already have.
Thanks for all your kind words. I didn't sleep a wink last night, but am being discharged later this morning and have got DS in nursery all day so I can sleep this afternoon. Feeling a bit more teary this morning but glad to be going home. Been confirmed it was neither ectopic or molar which is a relief - so just 'one of those things' I suppose. Thanks again all the nightowls for your support
So sorry for your loss. Hope you are sleeping now.
How terrifying for you. Very sorry for both your loss and the horrible way (though, I'm award there is no 'nice' way) it happened.
I'm so very sorry for your loss is there any chance you can ask the nurse for something to help you sleep? You have been through so much, my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope the next days will be gentle for you..xx
I've had backache for a few days so not sleeping too well.Sorry there's a snorer in your bay, there's always one. And bags packed by Dps are always a source of bewilderment, I hope there's something in there that may give you even a wee smile.
Thanks Jazzy. I just didn't want someone who was worrying about mc to read it and assume they all happen like this. The hospital staff have all been fantastic although I am finding it hard to handle when they are too nice and sympathetic to me - but I've always found people being too nice a bit hard to handle strangely. Thanks for your kind words.
Hi muddling. Not managed any dozing yet - just reading a very trashy crime novel on my kindle. Dp packed me an overnight bag with some very random contents - God knows what I will be wearing tomorrow - but at least he remembered my beloved Kindle :-)
If I'm ok at my 2am obs they will move me to every 2 hours, so will try to sleep 2 til 4 - they have kindly given me earplugs as there is a major snorer in this Bay.
Hope whatever has you up at this late hour is nothing unpleasant.
Oh, I'm really sorry to read this GreatSoprendo. It sounds like you had a truly awful time of it. I'm glad you are being looked after in hospital.
It's a long time since I had a miscarriage but I do understand your feelings of relief.
I don't find the details distressing, especially considering the warning in your thread title. If talking it through on here is helping you then that is a really good thing.
Mumsnet's great for talking things through, day or night. It can be comforting to know someone's always at the other side of the keyboard when you feel terrible. Are you managing to doze between obs?
Im so sorry for your loss
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