Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(785 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

sarah00001 Sat 09-Feb-13 13:04:59

It's now been 3 weeks since my salpingostomy and I'm still feeling really low. I can't help think I'm going to have another ectopic as I have several of the risk factors. Firstly I had chlamydia for 9 months, secondly I used to smoke for around 18 years, though I have given up now, thirdly I'm over 35 and finally now I've had an ectopic, that's another risk factor. So as I have 4 risk factors that surely puts me at very high risk of having another one?.

I just feel so low and despondent. I want to be positive and look forward to the future, but it seems the possibility of me having a baby is now really slim and I'm already saving for IVF. Even with IVF my chances are slim as I'm nearly 37.

Has anyone else had several risk factors like me and managed to have a successful pregnancy?

Thank you

Sarah

AGP07 Tue 12-Feb-13 17:25:48

Hi - an update. I Found out today I have a missed miscarriage as it stopped growing the day after my scan last week. Having an ERPC on Friday. Quite numb at the moment. This is the end of the road for us in trying. After 5 miscarriages and 1 ectopic, enough is enough and we need to focus on our future as a family of three. I wish you all well in your journeys and hope for positive outcomes for you. Sadly for us it wasn't meant to be.

Countmyblessings Tue 12-Feb-13 18:11:12

AGP - I'm so very sorry for your news you have all reasons to just focus on your future and I do hope that your life journey will continue to grow and blossom and that the experiences you have gone through will not break you but make you and your family life stronger! (I actually found sharing my experience with others a way of healing! Spoke to a small group of ladies about grief and loss and how I dealt with it!)
Please pop back and update us!
Take care big hugs to you!

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 12-Feb-13 18:44:03

agp so sorry to hear your news. You've been through an awful lot I can totally understand your decision to enjoy your family of 3. Hope that it all goes ok on Friday and this week isn't too stressful for,you. Take care of yourself.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 12-Feb-13 18:52:23

sarah except for chlamydia, I had the same risk factors. I don't think 36 going on 37 is very old, you may have good egg stores. My FSH was tested, it wasn't great (nearly 13) and I conceived a few cycles later.

I can understand that you've been feeling low, it's a horrible experience having an EP. Be kind to,yourself, take some time to recover from it all. Saving for IVF sounds like a good back up plan. Hope,you're feeling a bit better now.

KatieBurgum86 Tue 19-Feb-13 19:56:42

Hi ladies I'm new to this, just wanted to tell you about what's happened to me and hopefully get some advise?? Had ectopic preg removed via lap 4 weeks ago.. Horrible time we conceived with chlomid after years of trying with pcos. My hcg levels fell from 1200-700-120-70-40-23... The doc asked me to come back after 2 weeks to confirm its at zero which I did.. The hcg had risen to 27 and a week later again up to 40... The nurse initially told me she thought this is a new pregnancy then that its prob not just tissue left behind.. They going to test me again n 3 days.. Is it possible I'm pregnant or caught a week after my op? And if so wouldn't the levels have gone far higher than just an increase of 13?? I'm really scared at the thought of having the methox injection if I may be pregnant?? Anyone had anything similar?? I'm going out of my mind...sad xx

Countmyblessings Tue 19-Feb-13 21:37:41

So sorry for this horrible situation your finding yourself in Katie- I have no advice as my ectopics were straight forwards and I had no problems after! Hopefully some one will come on and maybe be able to share their own experience to help you through yours although only a dr, consultant or another professional that deals with this daily can help!
Also try the ectopic trust website which can help also!
Good luck I pray this all works out and this is a new healthy pregnancy!
It's happened for alot of us on here I'm currently 37 weeks!

joby21 Wed 20-Feb-13 08:27:50

Sorry to hear your news Katie. I can't help you with hcg results as mine were never tested after my surgery. Hope you get some answers soon. Count is right about lots of us having a healthy pregnancy. Mine is now 7 weeks old and sleeping on my lap (conceived 3 months post op).

Count, 37 weeks! That's gone quick! make sure you let us know when the countlet arrives x

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 20-Feb-13 13:43:22

hi katie sorry to hear about your experience, it sounds like you're in limbo now. I'm not surprised you're feeling rubbish, it's really hard sad.

With mine, they just did a pg test at my 6 wk follow up (which was negative). But they removed the whole tube, not sure if they did that with you?

I think the average time for your body to recover from the EP and ovulate is about 4-6wks. I took about 5 weeks to ovulate after my op.

Hope that you get some answers soon.

Chocolatebeetrootcake Thu 21-Feb-13 02:37:51

Hello, I'm sure you can see from the time of this message that I am enduring yet another sleepless night. Ive read this thread from start to finish and just wanted to say how its helping keep My sanity. You are Kind and warm and inspiring to those TTC. I've no one to talk to in RL (btw I feel like I've learnt a new language over the past day or so on here!) as my personal circs are complicated. I'm 3 weeks post op for an ectopic pregnancy during which I lost my baby and my left tube. My partner and I weren't trying for a baby - I had a coil!!!! - so i feel like i cant admit to anyone how much i wanted the baby I've lost. but i know in my heart of hearts that we would have had the baby and now I just feel an over whelming sense of loss and grief. Physically I am over the worst. I still have aches and pains and incredibly tired - I've done hardly anything for four weeks now and have only been out the house a handful of times for tiny amounts of time. But emotionally I'm a mess. I spend my days googling EP's, fertility, risks, causes, pictures everything and I am beginning to think its becoming an obsession.. I feel so scared at the thought of getting pregnant again that i cant bare the thought of my partner touching me but at the same time im scared that i will never be pregnant again. This has made us talk about things we wouldnt have done which is great but I really want a bbaby and dont know how to bring it Up. I nearly died and it was all very dramatic so think it has freaked him out but We are in a stable relationship, financially secure and I feel that nature was trying to give us a nudge... I've had four weeks of sick and am due back at work next week but just don't feel ready. I've had an infection in my belly button and a UTI As well. I don't really have any questions but just wanted to off load as the few friends, my parents and partner all appear bored by my woes now and think I should be back to normal and at work now... My mum even asked me what I was crying for the other day...

Countmyblessings Thu 21-Feb-13 07:45:49

Oh Choc - I'm so sorry that you have also been robbed of a baby!!! ( although you didn't plan it) but your grief and sadness is real and you should not feel " rushed" or " pressured" into " getting over it" its just hard for people to relate and have empathy towards something they have never experienced!!!!!!
I had a huge low point and felt guilty but got a book that helped me figure out my feelings ( on a faith level) and had to see how blessed I am, for my life!!!! My Dcs, my DH and my health!
Please as you said you read this thread we on here have gone through the " longing for a baby, but the fear off more problems"
But after recovering from my last ect & op I then discovered quickly that I had gotten pregnant again without trying and yes I was scared and couldn't sleep for ages with worry! Blood tests to see my levels, waiting to have scan to confirm baby had reached my womb, then a heartbeat!!! And so on and so on!!!! It's been hard but the support on here and RL support from DH has made me get to today- 37 weeks today!

Take one day at a time and don't stop talking and sharing as it really does help!!!
Massive hug and hand holding to you - this is a support thread and we r here.

Countmyblessings Thu 21-Feb-13 07:50:17

Also - if your not ready for work don't rush back get more time off if possible extend sick note!
With each of my losses I had to have more time off as moving on was getting harder for me! I was off from April to sept the last time!!! No guilt as needed this to grief and get over shock of new pregnancy!

iloveberries Tue 26-Feb-13 14:07:08

Hi there everyone,
I have been lurking but having a bit of a tough time of it - going through some problems with dh - so haven't been posting really. But thanks for those who are asking how I am.
It is nearly a year since my ectopic. We aren't trying yet as the medication dh has been on killed all his sperm sad I think I told you all that. He has been on new meds for 2 months and says he's noticed a change in the colour smell and consistency of his sperm (tmi sorry!) so we are hoping when he goes for the check up in a month that he has sperm again.
I am having the hsg on Friday to see if my other tube is ok - I am so nervouse, feel sick to the pit of my stomach about it actually sad rationally I think it must be ok as I already have ds but who knows?
Anyway - sorry for the "me me me" post but just felt bad as I haven't written for a while and seen lovely people like tas asking after me.

So update me : where are we on the post ectopic pregnancies? Have we got babies yet? Xxxx

FreyaKItty Tue 26-Feb-13 15:55:43

Hi there everyone,
I'm just out of hospital after an ectopic pregnancy. I just found out I was pregnant last Thursday. I had been bleeding and cramping so went to doctors on Friday. He sent me straight to a&e. they did some scans which showed a mass in my tube, cysts and fluid in my abdomen. i had to stay in hospital while they did the pregnancy hcg blood tests. The slow rise (858 to 1052) confirmed a probable ectopic so the operated yesterday. They did a laparoscopy, removed the tube and the largest ovarian cyst. I have a 15 month old which I was still breadtfeeding but had to stop which made me very sad. When my husband brought my two children into the hospital he wouldnt let me hold him for the first hour (i am breadtfeedinv we had co-slept and i am a sahm so he must have gotten such shock). itwasn't until after the operation that I started to think about loss. It was never a viable birth and due to bleeding I never allowed myself to dream. But I see my 2 children and am sad that the little baby that was inside me will never get to experience life. They let me out yesterday but couldn't sleep due to shoulder pain and tightness in my chest (due to co2) from lap surgery. We had booked a holiday to canaries next Sunday. I'm hoping that i will be well enough to go as we can't get away later in the year.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 26-Feb-13 19:07:39

berries! So lovely to hear from you! Seems like good news about your DH's new medication. And an hsg should give you a good idea of what your tube is like. Hopefully you can start to move on soon after being in limbo for so long. Let us know how the hsg goes on Friday.

chocolate so,sorry to hear your story, hope you are feeling better, I could have written your post a year ago, all the raw emotions are so familiar. I was googling constantly, trying to find answers, why me, what chance do I have of conceiving again. It got better but slowly. Give yourself time to rest and recover. Other people don't really get it, lucky them! I just came on here and the EPT, as there are lots of people on line who,DO get it.

Hi freya sorry for your loss, I also tried not to,think of my EP as a baby, as i knew so early something was wrong, but it was still so,hard. And still such a terrible shock. If you are going on holiday in 10 days time, you should be over the worst physically. Rest up, is there someone who,can help you look after your 2 DC?

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 26-Feb-13 19:10:53

Oh forgot to say with post EP babies, we've got baby joby now, born end o f dec I think. Baby count is due in the next few weeks, as is baby tired. Baby tas not due til beginning of may. That's all I can think of right now. That are due soon anyway, is there anyone else? Please step forward!

iloveberries Wed 27-Feb-13 11:12:47

Oh, you ladies still give me hope that one day I will give my little ds a sibling smile thank you x

delilahbelle Wed 27-Feb-13 16:45:47

I had bleeding and pain on Thursday, a scan which confirmed a twin uterine pregnancy on Friday, then on Sunday immense pain and an emergency op. Not quite an ectopic as I had already lost one tube, but implantation in the scar site and then uterine rupture.

The most agonising and traumatic experience ever, DH has been amazing both emotionally and practically. We have no DCs and I'm not sure I'm brave enough to try again. At the moment I just want to get well.

Countmyblessings Wed 27-Feb-13 17:45:42

Sorry for this quick post!
Baby girl count born on Monday night 6lb 5!
Csection at 37+5!!!!! Still in hospital will read and post back soon!
Huge wave to ilove- you have been missed!

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 27-Feb-13 18:34:45

delilah so sorry to hear about your horrendous experience, sounds like you are lucky to be alive. I think you're right just to focus on getting well as you've been through an awful lot. Please keep coming on here if you need to vent or someone to listen.

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 27-Feb-13 18:36:25

count congrats!! that's brilliant news! After all you've been through baby count is here now!! smile She's a good size for 37 weeks, hope you're all getting some rest and enjoying those lovely new born snuggles.

iloveberries Thu 28-Feb-13 13:44:27

Congrats to count - lovely news! Does she have a name?

Delilah - so sorry to hear your sad news - my ectopic was a yr ago and this board literally saved me. Post post post - we have all been through similar horrors and some people have babies to show for it afterwards. Love to you x

tiredandiwanttogotobed Thu 28-Feb-13 14:20:47

Hi all
Hope everyone is ok, I've been lurking for a while. Tas so glad everything's progressing as it should, how many wks are you now? Berries keeping everything crossed for you, for Friday xx. Count congratulations smile I'm still waiting (38+1), but I'm sure she'll come out when she's ready.

Chocolate I too could have written your post this time last year. It took me approx 6 months to get my head round things, what you're feeling IS normal. It's just those who haven't been through it don't understand that when the physical cuts have healed the emotional ones are still very much there. Just try to keep the lines of communication with your DH open.

Katie I hope you've had some answers-I think your GP/consultant would be the best person to ask.

Freya I hope you manage to get some rest and some sleep, I thought of my EP as a baby, and if I'm honest I still occasionally wonder what he/she would have been like. But it will get easier.

Delilah I think all of us "old timers" here know the fear you are feeling, we've all had that life changing/re-affirming experience. Don't rush into trying again, wait til you feel emotionally ready.

To all the newbies here, we know how you're feeling, use us to offload/cry/sound off to. I hope we can help xx

delilahbelle Thu 28-Feb-13 15:06:02

Well physically I'm slowly improving. And although I'm sad I'm not as grief stricken as I thought I'd be, which then makes me worry something is wrong with me. or that maybe it will hit me suddenly. I am going to call the hospital counsellor next week and maybe see if I can book some sessions.

Friends being great - I have loads of flowers and chocolates and visitors over the next few days. DH being a great support. He needs to go back to work next week though (no work, no pay as he's self employed) and I think it will be harder being home alone.

I don't know if I want to try again. The official diagnosis for me was a ruptured corneal ectopic, and I'm worried about reccurance. To make things worse, although the other tube is there it's not patent, and I would need IVF treatment to fall pregnant, barring a miracle. We do have 2 frozen embryos left from our last cycle though. I have a telephone consult with my IVF doctor next Tuesday. I might not want to try again right now, but it would be nice to know its an option in 6/9/12 months or however long I need to heal.

Hi, can I join please?
I MC 4 weeks ago at 6.5 weeks. Had had brown occasionally red spotting for a couple of weeks and put it down to a previously diagnosed ectropion. Then it escalated to proper blood. A scan showed or didnt show PUL. The bleeding got worse, but not terrible, and I passed some pieces of what I assume was the sac. (Was definitely not just blood clot).
Anyway, the bleeding tailed off, as did my HCG, but it has stalled at 145. Was called in for dildo cam today. The sonographer said she could see something on my left ovary which was either a corpus luteum or signs if the pregnancy and I probably just pass this in the next week or two. More bloods were taken, get the results tomorrow. Another scan next week.
Everything kicks into place for me now, spotting, random left sided pains and bad constipation. It just didnt feel right from the start. I do feel like I understand now.
Im just worrying about stuff again. Is the sonographer saying the pg was actually in my ovary? I googled this, wish I hadnt!
Even though I MC, which I suppose I can call a lucky escape in hindsight will there be damage or scarring which will effect TTC?
What now? If I dont pass the leftovers, does this mean they will take my ovary? Will a D&C or suction thingy be suitable?

Im so totally over all of this now! I have a good day, then it all comes crashing back. We want to try again ASAP and this is so frustrating, I just cry.
I had dildo cam first thing this morning, then a GA in the afternoon to have Grommits in my ears. Ive got sore ears, a sore throat, a headache, and stomach cramps. The scan was very thorough, I feel totally bruised and crampy.
I'm right back in the pit again. Before this PG I was happy, if terribly broody, now Im obsessed. Im sure all my friends think I ought to get over myself, DP and the DCs (teens) have moved on. I feel like everyone else has moved on and Im left here behind with this crap that I cant escape from. I was promised a baby. DP has promised we can have another try, but I cant even focus on that! I could well be losing the plot!

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